I am a new grad RN, graduated in December, passed NCLEX in Feb 1st try 75 questions (so happy I did that I was a nervous wreck!) Started my job as an RN that week after the license came through I was already working as an intern. I thought oh night shift it won't be that bad, etc............ I WAS WRONG VERY VERY WRONG. I am married no kids though thankfully, my husband works day shift at his job. I barely see him on the nights I go in we meet up at a store or something and I see him for 10-15 min before I go in since by the time he would get home I would of already left for work, I cry every time I have to leave him and here lately I have been crying privately at work. I do better if I am with my husband all day prior to going in but that can't always happen if it is like today a Monday and he is at work and I am here waiting for 5pm crying so I can leave and go see him for 10 min before I go into work. I feel pathetic, my work environment has gotten worse we are almost always short sometimes leaving me with 6 or 7 patients which I can not adequately take care of ( I mean they are taken care of but I feel like I am constantly forgetting something or not providing the best care for), corporate is on our butts about freaking everything, I am currently applying for NP school since really the reason I came into the nursing profession was so I could obtain my FNP degree and work in a Dr office and have more one on one time with patients and of course have better hours sometimes. I have to give a shout out to all you floor nurses out there who do handle it and all you night shift nurses who handle it, you are better than me ! I have looked and looked for day shift jobs locally and to much search no such luck...... I didn't know if anyone here had any of the same problems I feel like I am the only one I just miss my husband so much when we are apart and I am sick of having tons of admits and not sure of what I am doing 100% (I think this is a new grad problem not being 100% confident) I need day shift I think and less patients. I have long time contemplated ICU step down I did an internship there and enjoyed it, but there aren't any day shift jobs or job period there right now. I keep telling myself it is temporary and I can do anything for a little bit, I just want in NP school so bad that is what I really want to do, I am going to continue working through school so I may have to do school part time or work part time depending.
Has anyone else had the problem of separation anxiety of leaving their husband/spouse ? Feeling overwhelmed? Also any tips for NP school would be much appreciated and/or schools that you recommend that are online/blended or strictly online I could do on campus as well but it would need to be in or near a state around me which would be east TN, NC, or VA I have a good GPA 3.66 (I think it is good anyways). I am at just such a loss this can not be normal to cry every night before work..... I am not sure if I can last beyond 6 months at this....... 6 months is what is pretty much required at my place of employment.
I really can't believe all of the negative comments on here.
Comments, input, feedback is not "negative" because it disagrees with what you personally believe. It is simply a difference in viewpoint. Sometimes the most positive thing anyone can ever do for someone is get them AWAY from a 'negative' situation. Does that mean the person who dragged them away from the trouble was 'negative'? No. Telling someone "I think there's something wrong" isn't negative. Telling her she's an idiot who should leave her husband, but offer no advice on how to do it..? YES, that would probably count as negative. (for those who didn't see what I just did there, it was an example, not a statement directed toward the OP).
And if you're in a situation where you are driven to tears and even vomit at this separation...? It's no wonder you don't see what's unhealthy about the OP's situation, you're in it too!
I think the other nurses who had negative comments on here are the reason the profession is so disrespected these days.
If you honestly, seriously believe this, then I think you don't have a clue what my concerns are. What on EARTH does disrespect within the nursing profession have to do with a woman who is unhappy and in a potentially bad PERSONAL situation? NOTHING. I can never understand people who take a personal matter and declare that it's the downfall of nursing in general. Ridiculous.
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I really can't believe all of the negative comments on here.
Just because we don't all share the same view points doesn't mean the comments are negative. Why doesn't everyone say that just because they don't hear what they want?
I feel the EXACT same way that you're describing and I think it's completely normal. I work in a very high level ICU at the moment and my anxiety at the thought of going into work and not knowing 100% of the time what I'm doing coupled with the fact I'm on an opposite schedule of my husband drives me to tears, sometimes I even throw up.
That's not healthy either. Crying to the point of vomiting is unhealthy. If you can't find a better way to cope, no wonder you agree with the OP.
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
Comments, input, feedback is not "negative" because it disagrees with what you personally believe. It is simply a difference in viewpoint. Sometimes the most positive thing anyone can ever do for someone is get them AWAY from a 'negative' situation. Does that mean the person who dragged them away from the trouble was 'negative'? No. Telling someone "I think there's something wrong" isn't negative. Telling her she's an idiot who should leave her husband, but offer no advice on how to do it..? YES, that would probably count as negative. (for those who didn't see what I just did there, it was an example, not a statement directed toward the OP).
And if you're in a situation where you are driven to tears and even vomit at this separation...? It's no wonder you don't see what's unhealthy about the OP's situation, you're in it too!
If you honestly, seriously believe this, then I think you don't have a clue what my concerns are. What on EARTH does disrespect within the nursing profession have to do with a woman who is unhappy and in a potentially bad PERSONAL situation? NOTHING. I can never understand people who take a personal matter and declare that it's the downfall of nursing in general. Ridiculous.
The OP is not in a normal situation. Sure everyone has anxiety about going to work at one time or another. Anxiety and crying about not being home with your husband is NOT normal.
To have a healthy relationship you should be able to leave their side for going to work, weather or not you work on the opposite shift or not.
I have seen no one being negative, but I have seen helpful comments. I really thing the OP needs to see a professional. They can help work through the anxiety and get to the root of the problem.
Comments, input, feedback is not "negative" because it disagrees with what you personally believe. It is simply a difference in viewpoint. Sometimes the most positive thing anyone can ever do for someone is get them AWAY from a 'negative' situation. Does that mean the person who dragged them away from the trouble was 'negative'? No. Telling someone "I think there's something wrong" isn't negative. Telling her she's an idiot who should leave her husband, but offer no advice on how to do it..? YES, that would probably count as negative. (for those who didn't see what I just did there, it was an example, not a statement directed toward the OP).
And if you're in a situation where you are driven to tears and even vomit at this separation...? It's no wonder you don't see what's unhealthy about the OP's situation, you're in it too!
If you honestly, seriously believe this, then I think you don't have a clue what my concerns are. What on EARTH does disrespect within the nursing profession have to do with a woman who is unhappy and in a potentially bad PERSONAL situation? NOTHING. I can never understand people who take a personal matter and declare that it's the downfall of nursing in general. Ridiculous.
What I would consider is there are an overwhelming number of posters from different ages, areas and backgrounds all essentially saying the same thing. I believe out of 60 some odd posts there were 2 who felt the situation the OP described was to be expected or is acceptable.
What could possibly be the motivation of all the people who agree that some attention to this matter well above and beyond changing to day shift is seriously needed and would likely be beneficial?
I think that most of the commenters on here were unsupportive of her personal situation and I was simply verifying that she was not alone in feeling the way she does. I have no care for what your concerns are, keep your opinions to yourself. You needn't be so aggressive on a public forum.
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I think that most of the commenters on here were unsupportive of her personal situation and I was simply verifying that she was not alone in feeling the way she does. I have no care for what your concerns are, keep your opinions to yourself. You needn't be so aggressive on a public forum.
We are supportive. We have told her many ways she could help herself. Heck, I was even in her shoes before. Crying uncontrollably because I missed my husband. It's not healthy. I miss my husband every day he's gone. But if I cried every day I would be unproductive & a bad example to my son.
You want us to keep our opinions to ourself on a public forum?
Do you know how inane that sounds?
You are the ONLY poster who has agreed with her emotionally. We all know as nurses crying every day because you miss someone is not healthy. On top of that crying to the point of vomiting is not healthy either. There are healthier ways to cope. Also, it sounds like she has anxiety & depression. She should seek mental health help.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I think that most of the commenters on here were unsupportive of her personal situation and I was simply verifying that she was not alone in feeling the way she does. I have no care for what your concerns are, keep your opinions to yourself. You needn't be so aggressive on a public forum.
Oh, for the love of Pete!
Who's being aggressive on a public forum? That would be you. And if you're in the same place as the OP emotionally, please seek some assistance as well. It's not healthy to be crying that much because you miss your spouse over the course of a working shift!
I think that most of the commenters on here were unsupportive of her personal situation ...
This statement is only one skip away from "you're being negative because you disagree with it".
I am NOT supportive of a situation in which a woman is unhappy and living in emotional turmoil. Why on EARTH would I support her CONTINUING that? However, I absolutely DO support the idea that she needs to do something to correct a bad situation, and have offered numerous suggestions that ARE supportive of HER (along with many others who are trying to help).
I support the OP in her quest to live a healthy emotional life. I don't support staying in what appears to be a controlling, overly-dependent situation, thereby allowing it to become even worse. And neither should any rational human being.
RNsRWe, ASN, RN
3 Articles; 10,428 Posts
Comments, input, feedback is not "negative" because it disagrees with what you personally believe. It is simply a difference in viewpoint. Sometimes the most positive thing anyone can ever do for someone is get them AWAY from a 'negative' situation. Does that mean the person who dragged them away from the trouble was 'negative'? No. Telling someone "I think there's something wrong" isn't negative. Telling her she's an idiot who should leave her husband, but offer no advice on how to do it..? YES, that would probably count as negative. (for those who didn't see what I just did there, it was an example, not a statement directed toward the OP).
And if you're in a situation where you are driven to tears and even vomit at this separation...? It's no wonder you don't see what's unhealthy about the OP's situation, you're in it too!
If you honestly, seriously believe this, then I think you don't have a clue what my concerns are. What on EARTH does disrespect within the nursing profession have to do with a woman who is unhappy and in a potentially bad PERSONAL situation? NOTHING. I can never understand people who take a personal matter and declare that it's the downfall of nursing in general. Ridiculous.