How to quit a job I've had for under a year...

[Aliceozwalker]

Some of you may remember me from some of my previous posts. I have been a nurse for about 2.5 years now and have hated most of it. I began in an inpatient unit while I did hospice and then switched to a clinic. I was very hopeful that the new clinic job but things are going poorly. My mental and physical health continues to deteriorate. I am up to 170 pounds from 127 when I started nursing. I haven't been able to hold a relationship and have lost most of the friends I've had. Most of my days off I stay at home and feel so exhausted in the mornings I normally stay in bed for a few hours before getting up. My family held an intervention last week saying how concerned they were and said I can't continue on like this. I told them that I really do feel that nursing is swallowing me into this dark hole and that I am falling back into a depression with high levels of anxiety. 

My clinic works 12-hour shifts and doesn't get breaks until all the patients leave which is about 5-6 pm. Even then we normally don't get our full breaks, maybe 10 minutes or so. There are a lot of issues with the way the clinic is run and I've begun to fear for my patients and my license on multiple occasions. When I talked to my psychologist about this back in January he strongly suggested that I stay in the clinic for a year. I stayed at my previous nursing jobs for 1.5 years and 1 year exactly and he was a bit concerned about me being hired somewhere else. However, last week was sort of a realization point that I realized I have to be out of this job ASAP. 

I have decided that I am leaving bedside nursing and want to apply for more deskwork nursing jobs (such as nurse consultant) to see if that is any better. If things still don't improve I am going to be leaving the profession altogether.  Nursing is honestly destroying my life, it was not a good choice of a field for me given my social anxiety and history of depression.

All this being said, me leaving this current job is not going to go over well. My old manager switched me to this clinic as a favour and vouched for me as he knew I was struggling mentally there too. He will not be willing to give me another reference once I hear I left this job in under a year and I doubt management at this job will either. They also gave me over a month of orientation as I was quite new as a nurse, which makes the situation all the worse. There are also issues with staffing if I leave. We are just staffed enough to cover every shift exactly. There is a new staff member starting but not for another month and then they need the month of orientation. We were told that they were hired to cover for our vacations. If I leave soon, the staff will have a big issue with covering vacations and I will be deeply resented. 

I was to leave burning as few bridges as possible.  I haven't told my current job any of my issues with mental health but am reluctant to list that as my reason for leaving. 

How would you proceed with quitting this job? Would you let the company know now that I am planning on leaving so they have a month or so to find someone? Should I wait until I have another job offer then quit giving them two weeks' notice? And what should I say when they ask me my reasons for leaving?

[JKL33]

21 hours ago, Aliceozwalker said:

Should I wait until I have another job offer then quit giving them two weeks' notice?

If you are certain of your decision to quit then this may be your best approach.

21 hours ago, Aliceozwalker said:

And what should I say when they ask me my reasons for leaving?

Pursuing a different opportunity.

21 hours ago, Aliceozwalker said:

There are also issues with staffing if I leave. We are just staffed enough to cover every shift exactly. There is a new staff member starting but not for another month and then they need the month of orientation. We were told that they were hired to cover for our vacations. If I leave soon, the staff will have a big issue with covering vacations and I will be deeply resented. 

These are not your problems.

****

Side note:

21 hours ago, Aliceozwalker said:

My clinic works 12-hour shifts and doesn't get breaks until all the patients leave which is about 5-6 pm. Even then we normally don't get our full breaks, maybe 10 minutes or so.

I hope you are getting paid for 12.5 hrs every shift. If they are not giving breaks and not paying you need to put a stop to that regardless what else you do.

****

If the HCP managing your depression and anxiety isn't aware of your current situation, arrange an appointment ASAP. Do your best to make sure your treatment plan is optimized.

Best wishes ~

 

 

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

I'm sorry to hear things aren't working well for you.  I agree with the above in that you should keep your intentions to quit to yourself until you have another job.  Most employers are understanding if you can't use your current job as a reference if you have other professional and personal references you can use.

Good luck, and it is good that you're getting therapy because it's not only nursing but how you are responding.  

[Davey Do]

First, please allow me to express empathy and support for your situation and decisions, Aliceozwalker.

Quote

How would you proceed with quitting this job? Would you let the company know now that I am planning on leaving so they have a month or so to find someone? Should I wait until I have another job offer then quit giving them two weeks' notice? And what should I say when they ask me my reasons for leaving?

I have done everything in leaving a position from giving ample notice to walking out on the spot and it never came to the rubber-stamped reply of burning a bridge or coming back to biting me on the butt.

We always need to look out for the most important person in our lives and it is us. If we are not good to ourselves first and foremost, we will become- and I don't mean the overused clique here- burned out.

As for reasons for leaving I said things like "it just didn't work out" to "it was a consensual agreement" to "I got fired". In all three of these circumstances, I got different, and usually better, positions.

Now: In revitalizing, immerse yourself in this endeavor as though your life depended upon it, for your well-being surely does, Aliceozwalker. Put out feelers, talk to those who care, surf the web, brainstorm, stand on your head and dance a jig- anything- to find, as Joseph Campbell called it, "your bliss".

Finding your bliss, Mr. Campbell said, will always be there to rejuvenate you. Heck, look him up. While you're at it, check out Daniel Gilbert's "Stumbling on Happiness", Marty Seigmond's "Learned Optimism"

[Davey Do]

Sorry. Computer's acting up.

There are scads of others.

Good luck and the best to you, Aliceozwalker.

 

[NO JOKES OR PUNS ALLOWED, BSN, RN]

>I work in a clinic.

>I want to leave bedside nursing.

Great news, nurses who work in clinics and offices are not at the bedside. I get what you mean, but also: LOL.

Depression is like seeing the world through brown glasses: Everything is awful and everything at hand must be the root. You don't really articulate why you hate your job, other than a vague insinuation it might be dangerous and the lives of patients and your license is at risk. I hope they're not letting the patients pick a script from a fish bowl as a treat after each visit. ?

You're clinically depressed, lived through a pandemic, and your first job was hospice.  I'd also probably feel like becoming a full fledged Knight of the Rope. Jordan Peterson said everyone's life is a tragedy. I agree. Yours is no exception. It's completely reasonable to be overwhelmed.

But you have to do something about it. At the end of the day, your psychologist, peers, and everyone else doesn't get to live your life for you. 

I'm going to cut you in on a huge secret: I don't love nursing. A lot of nurses don't. The 168 hours in my week aren't going to be ruled by what elapsed during 36 of them.

When my husband and I had our son, my husband said he didn't care what he did, as long as he found a passion and worked hard to become the best. I think that's a great philosophy for life: Find the thing you're passionate about and become the best in your field.

I know nursing isn't what I'm best at. Or inspirational blurbs. (Sucks for you.) There are times in the ICU, after all these years, however, that have left a mark on my heart and made me believe in humanity. 

Look, I get depression. You don't want to exercise or read books or do anything that's good for you because you're depressed. You're completely demotivated. Find one thing and become the best at it. It won't make you happy, but it will give you purpose. 

If you're unmarried with no children or other obligations, you have 132 hours a week to do whatever your heart desires. Nursing, despite our constant self-assurance that nurses are angels (?), is just a job. 

 

[traumaRUs, MSN, APRN]

I'll cut to the chase: you know the problem is your depression and until you get that under control you are going to be miserable no matter what job you have whether in or out of nursing. Can you afford to just not work for awhile so that you can focus on your mental health? To me (and I want to state I don't have depression) that should be your priority. Truly if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to care for others. 

 

Please get some help. Take care of YOU!

[xbananachipsx, BSN, RN]

I say this as I truly truly empathize with you from personal experience.

If you want to hang onto your job and look at the same time, I would advise going on a medical leave of absence. If you don't want to burn your PTO or sick hours (if within your benefits) apply for state disability (assuming you're in the US).  State disability is less  than your average income, but it'll be enough to get you by.

I had wished I left a toxic work environment sooner. I'm paying the price for not listening to my gut, but at the very least I am at a safer work environment. My boss supports me 100% and she acknowledges my hard work and my work ethic. Silver lining in everything

At the end of the day you need to protect your license and ultimately take care of yourself. you have the power to change things for the better - it doesn't feel like it now, but you can do it. get a therapist and I also recommend a psychiatrist. 

Please be safe and keep us posted on how you're doing.

[Brian960]

Your employer has a staffing shortage and it might seem like the place will implode if you leave, but it won't.  There are other options for your employer, such as hiring an experienced contract nurse as a temporary fix.

I hope you find something you truly enjoy.  Everybody deserves to be happy.

[mmc51264, BSN, MSN, RN]

My 2 cents, make sure that you don't have to give 30 day notice. Most nursing jobs require that. 

Hope you find something that suits you ❤️

 

[HiddenAngels]

I agree with the other person who said most nurses don’t “love it”, but there’s little things here and there that we do love.  Sometimes depression has to do with some unresolved issue that you either haven’t become aware of or feel as though you can’t handle. I think you should take some time for you and do what you need to do to get to the bottom of it.  As far as the job, most hospitals/clinics  will last longer than we ever will, we’re cogs in their wheel. Always remember that. If that doesn’t help just remember in 100 years from now we will all be dead so make the most out of your life, we don’t get a redo…

[klone, MSN, RN]

11 hours ago, mmc51264 said:

My 2 cents, make sure that you don't have to give 30 day notice. Most nursing jobs require that. 

 

Most nursing jobs don't require that, unless you're in leadership.

I agree with those who said that with unresolved/untreated clinical depression, it's not going to matter WHERE you work, you will be miserable. Get your depression treated, then decide your career.