Some of you may remember me from some of my previous posts. I have been a nurse for about 2.5 years now and have hated most of it. I began in an inpatient unit while I did hospice and then switched to a clinic. I was very hopeful that the new clinic job but things are going poorly. My mental and physical health continues to deteriorate. I am up to 170 pounds from 127 when I started nursing. I haven't been able to hold a relationship and have lost most of the friends I've had. Most of my days off I stay at home and feel so exhausted in the mornings I normally stay in bed for a few hours before getting up. My family held an intervention last week saying how concerned they were and said I can't continue on like this. I told them that I really do feel that nursing is swallowing me into this dark hole and that I am falling back into a depression with high levels of anxiety.
My clinic works 12-hour shifts and doesn't get breaks until all the patients leave which is about 5-6 pm. Even then we normally don't get our full breaks, maybe 10 minutes or so. There are a lot of issues with the way the clinic is run and I've begun to fear for my patients and my license on multiple occasions. When I talked to my psychologist about this back in January he strongly suggested that I stay in the clinic for a year. I stayed at my previous nursing jobs for 1.5 years and 1 year exactly and he was a bit concerned about me being hired somewhere else. However, last week was sort of a realization point that I realized I have to be out of this job ASAP.
I have decided that I am leaving bedside nursing and want to apply for more deskwork nursing jobs (such as nurse consultant) to see if that is any better. If things still don't improve I am going to be leaving the profession altogether. Nursing is honestly destroying my life, it was not a good choice of a field for me given my social anxiety and history of depression.
All this being said, me leaving this current job is not going to go over well. My old manager switched me to this clinic as a favour and vouched for me as he knew I was struggling mentally there too. He will not be willing to give me another reference once I hear I left this job in under a year and I doubt management at this job will either. They also gave me over a month of orientation as I was quite new as a nurse, which makes the situation all the worse. There are also issues with staffing if I leave. We are just staffed enough to cover every shift exactly. There is a new staff member starting but not for another month and then they need the month of orientation. We were told that they were hired to cover for our vacations. If I leave soon, the staff will have a big issue with covering vacations and I will be deeply resented.
I was to leave burning as few bridges as possible. I haven't told my current job any of my issues with mental health but am reluctant to list that as my reason for leaving.
How would you proceed with quitting this job? Would you let the company know now that I am planning on leaving so they have a month or so to find someone? Should I wait until I have another job offer then quit giving them two weeks' notice? And what should I say when they ask me my reasons for leaving?
Sometimes depression has to do with some unresolved issue that you either haven’t become aware of or feel as though you can’t handle. I think you should take some time for you and do what you need to do to get to the bottom of it.
hit the nail on that one.
I'm still trying to figure out how I became to be ngl. I'm at a better places after years of trauma. I always thought I was strong but then graduating from nursing school happened and I couldn't handle the transition. depression and anxiety are def a thing.
OP I'm always open to exchanging e-mails if you want to talk about nursing and mental health. gotchu fam.
OP here. Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to reply. I really appreciate all of your feedback and advice. My mental health issues can be debilitating. I have been dealing with anxiety and depression issues ever since I was a child. Unfortunately, several people in my life have been suicidal or committed suicide. This happened in university, for the most part, had it happened sooner I likely wouldn't have gone into nursing. This has led to me becoming extremely anxious and worried about my patient's safety probably to an almost paranoid degree. I feel responsible for their lives and if I feel something is affecting that I become flustered and nervous. I feel that I am annoying my coworkers with my questions and concerns over patients' labwork/vitals/etc. I have reoccurring nightmares of patients/people needing me to help them and me being unable to rescue them.
I have seen several psychologists and doctors. The reality is psychologists are very expensive and I don't feel I have the money to see one frequently. I don't have any sort of coverage to pay for one since I have been doing full-time hours with a part-time job since I started nursing. My mental health issues have been going on for years and I could be spending the majority of the money I make for services that have never really helped in any significant way. That's not to say I won't try, I did ask my psychologist to be referred to an anxiety clinic. I have gone on short term disability for a month at my previous job. It didn't really change anything and I just got anxious about how my skills would regress upon returning to work.
Several people in my life also think I am putting too much stock in the job being the issue over the anxiety/ depression. It's hard to explain but I do feel that nursing is making things worse. Working with patients feeds my anxiety to a high degree. It's like my mental health issues are a small fire that I can somewhat manage outside of nursing. But work is the gasoline over the fire that makes things begin to burn outside of my control. Nursing plays into a lot of my deepest fears of not being able to protect people and yet being responsible for their lives. I think I would be happier in a job where I could be by myself more and not have to face people all day.
I'm not 100% sure that changing jobs/careers will fix things but I do feel it will make things a bit better. I just feel I have to try something else to bring down my anxiety on a daily basis as I can't imagine continuing on like this for years to come.
"Want" is different from "require" though. Sure, it would be NICE. But I've rarely heard of it being required for a staff nurse.
Of course barring a contract they can't enforce it, but there's the almighty "eligibility for rehire" card that they can play. One of the places I saw doing this is a part of one of the biggest players in the region, so it's a big deal if you burn that bridge.
Specializes in orthopedic/trauma, Informatics, diabetes.
On 3/25/2022 at 6:32 AM, klone said:
Most nursing jobs don't require that, unless you're in leadership.
I have never known a nurse that quit without giving 30 days. When I left my first nursing job for a better one, I was told 30. Did not want an "ineligible for rehire" on my resume.
"We always need to look out for the most important person in our lives and it is us". I want to add "and our own families" to that statement. Your priorities are going to change throughout your life too.
Can you afford to take a PRN job somewhere while sorting this all out? Maybe work 2 days/week and give yourself time for therapy, etc?
"It has led to me becoming extremely anxious and worried about my patient's safety probably to an almost paranoid degree. I feel responsible for their lives and if I feel something is affecting that I become flustered and nervous".
There are several vaccination jobs out there where you may not feel this level of responsibility. They pay in the mid-range for nursing salary in my area. Is this something you'd consider?
I agree with the posters above. It's NOT your fault that the entire nursing world is short-staffed! Also, moving to outpatient is not always the answer for burnout. The workload is immense and accrued PTO can be very difficult to use. Your 8 a.m. - 5 p.m. job will be more like 7 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. but they won't tell you that upon hiring.
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
1 hour ago, 2BS Nurse said:
"We always need to look out for the most important person in our lives and it is us".
Amen.
We are in a constant state of endeavoring to live up to others and our own expectations of who and what we SHOULD be.
Not everybody is cut out to be a professional caregiver and even a fewer number end up being good caregivers. We are not bad if we can't do something others can do- we're just different from them. We don't expect ducks to climb trees and bury nuts or squirrels to swim around a pond and quack, so we shouldn't expect that everybody should be able to do everything.
Gaining insight of who we are- our strong points as well as our weak points- is a starting point in realistically perusing and working in a gainful, fulfilling job. There are people out there who work as butchers and bakers and candlestick makers who lead complete and fulfilling lives.
As 2BS Nurse said, we have to look out for ourselves first and foremost. In doing so, we must get okay with who. we. are.
"How would you proceed with quitting this job? Would you let the company know now that I am planning on leaving so they have a month or so to find someone?"
If you need to move DIRECTLY to another position, you must have another job on board . Quit AFTER the new job is obtained and give two weeks. ( some facilities require 4 weeks).
You have enough experience to get out of the hospital. Research the job boards for insurance and other work from home positions.
Jedrnurse, BSN, RN
2,776 Posts
I've had two staff jobs that wanted 4 weeks; I've heard it's becoming more common...