New Nurse: Discouraged and Wanting to Quit

New Nurse: Discouraged and Wanting to Quit

I started working as a nurse in February 2020. I started in med-surg and did this for almost a year. Our "general surgery" unit turned into a covid unit within only a few months of me starting. I even took care of one of my coworkers who ended up hospitalized on the unit for Covid. We started getting a huge influx of alcohol withdrawal patients and psych patients. I ended up deeply depressed and burnt out after only 8 months.

I decided to try neuro at a different hospital. The management was better, the hours were good, but the patients were awful. I was assaulted at 0400 one night by a brain surgery patient. The unit has the highest rate of workplace violence among the entire health system. Even though my coworkers and managers were awesome, I couldn't take the violence anymore. I left.

Now I'm a few weeks into a labor and delivery job and just not sure I can take it anymore. Childbirth is beautiful, I love watching new life come into the world. But the OB nurses are some of the meanest women I've ever met. The gossip is constant, and we work rotating shifts so I'm constantly flipping between days and nights sometimes with only a day or two to make the switch.

I feel like it's not nursing that I hate. I do care about my patients. I'm fascinated by the human body. But it's the culture of nursing that makes it so hard. It's the hours, the bullying, the politics... I don't know what else to do because I feel like I've quit so many jobs since graduation. I was valedictorian of my nursing program, but feel like the biggest failure out in the workforce. I really like coding and am working on teaching myself, but don't have the background to break into tech just yet.

Just feeling lost, and sad that nursing is not what I once thought it would be. Any other new nurses feeling this way?

10 Answers

Specializes in ICU + 25 years as Nursing Faculty.

You are not alone.  It took me about 16 years to find the right nursing job.  I then put 22 years in there!  If I had paid attention, and let go of my ideas of what I “should” do versus what I was good at and enjoyed…. I would have been a lot happier earlier.  Of course, battling depression every day (since my teens) didn’t help me make good job choices.  

I learned that it was absolutely OK to admit that some of the jobs that I thought I “should” be good at… I absolutely hated.  

I learned that for me… having my time was more important than making lots of $$$.  So I accepted a lower annual income… to enjoy huge amounts of time off (with benefits).  

I found that I could make a positive impact on nurses and patients doing what I love… not doing what I “should” do.  

I learned that the setting/context can make the same patient population either a good experience or a living hell.  

I learned that the modern American hospital is fundamentally a toxic place for nurses.  There are exceptions… but overall, hospital work is becoming more impossible every day.

Specializes in CRNA.

Trust me when I say that nursing is a niche profession. I HATED nursing school. Bed baths? Scanning pills? Handing out juice? No thanks. There is a place for everyone, find it.  This includes management, technology, consulting, insurance, outpatient, etc. Find the things that interest you and go for it. 

I imagine that there are people who enter nursing and love it from the beginning.  Unfortunately,  those people don't post here so much (maybe because they are busy enjoying great jobs!), so nursing can seem bleak when reading through the posts. 

For the rest of us, nursing is quite the slog, especially in the first few years. I am no longer a new nurse, now that I'm six years in. But I hopped a ton of jobs in those six years. I spent too much time getting into this profession to be pushed out. So I kept slogging through despite the inhospitable (pun!) conditions. 

All of that to say- no you are not alone, yes nursing is hard and all those things you have experienced are true and real.

You seem to be interested in leaving and have already started your pathway into tech. I say go for it and be happy.  

Specializes in New Critical care NP, Critical care, Med-surg, LTC.

It's all about your micro-environment. You could replace L&D with ICU, ED, OR, etc and find a hundred threads that ask the same thing. The L&D nurses at the nearest hospital to you could be the nicest bunch of nurses ever. Unfortunately, you got yours as coworkers. People are people everywhere and there are nice people and jerks working in all jobs in all professions. I'm sorry that you're dealing with it in your new position. Part of the problem is that once people are comfortable enough to be their mean selves, it's usually because they've got enough seniority/job security that they're not going anywhere. I hope your situation is the exception and they move out of there or somehow change their ways. Until then, just do you best to enjoy the good aspects of your job, and not get caught up in their crap. 

Specializes in ER.

I started in April 2020 and have switched jobs 4 times. 3 within my own hospital system. I tried neuro/tele, trauma/surgical/neuro ICU, and now I'm in ER. I worked way too hard to switch careers to just be miserable in nursing. Every unit has it positives/negatives but I learned what things I can not deal with and a big one for me was atmosphere. I thought it didn't matter who I worked with but after working in a toxic environment, I now know how important it is for me to work with good people. Don't ever feel bad for doing what's best for you because your job certainly will not. Good luck!

Specializes in Med/surg,orthopedics,emergency room,.

I so totally understand how you feel! The culture of nursing is definitely a strange one, and is VERY clique oriented. Why I will never know, the CONSTANT arguing who is better- RN OR LPN, trainers being  TERRIBLE to new nurses and orientees. The TOTAL lack of respect. On the other hand you have the privilege of working with people when they are most vulnerable. Don’t feel bad about switching jobs! It’s all about finding what will work for you, what you will excel in and what makes you happy. Think of the jobs you’ve had as experience. Nursing is so broad! Find your niche and go get it! Good luck and blessings!

Specializes in ER..

It is sometimes hard for a nurse to find the right environment.  I’m retired after 40+ years, most as an ER nurse.  I always had 2-3 different per diem jobs, I was fortunate that my husband carried health benefits so I could be flexible.  Some jobs were a nightmare of just the kind of mean-girl, petty, gossipy bullies you have described.  That kind of culture is fostered by the more experienced nurses and ignored by management.  I made it a habit not to get sucked in to their drama, stayed friendly, polite and helpful and didn’t count on making lifelong friends. With more experience and a charge position in a busy ER, I managed to turn a toxic environment into a better workplace.  I don’t expect you to do that, but know that while there are no utopias in nursing, better work situations exist.  Keep looking, find your nursing joy, and best of luck.  

I recently transferred to L&D, and these girls are MEAN! I feel like I'm back in high school. It sucks because I love L&D nursing (the patients, the patient ratios, seeing new life come into the world) but it is such a toxic workplace. The gossip is unreal. Anyone else notice this?

Specializes in Justice ⚖️ Nursing.
On 8/18/2022 at 11:59 AM, newgrad_13019 said:

Hey all,

I started working as a nurse in February 2020. I started in med-surg and did this for almost a year. Our "general surgery" unit turned into a covid unit within only a few months of me starting. I even took care of one of my coworkers who ended up hospitalized on the unit for Covid. We started getting a huge influx of alcohol withdrawal patients and psych patients. I ended up deeply depressed and burnt out after only 8 months.

I decided to try neuro at a different hospital. The management was better, the hours were good, but the patients were awful. I was assaulted at 0400 one night by a brain surgery patient. The unit has the highest rate of workplace violence among the entire health system. Even though my coworkers and managers were awesome, I couldn't take the violence anymore. I left.

Now I'm a few weeks into a labor and delivery job and just not sure I can take it anymore. Childbirth is beautiful, I love watching new life come into the world. But the OB nurses are some of the meanest women I've ever met. The gossip is constant, and we work rotating shifts so I'm constantly flipping between days and nights sometimes with only a day or two to make the switch.

I feel like it's not nursing that I hate. I do care about my patients. I'm fascinated by the human body. But it's the culture of nursing that makes it so hard. It's the hours, the bullying, the politics... I don't know what else to do because I feel like I've quit so many jobs since graduation. I was valedictorian of my nursing program, but feel like the biggest failure out in the workforce. I really like coding and am working on teaching myself, but don't have the background to break into tech just yet.

Just feeling lost, and sad that nursing is not what I once thought it would be. Any other new nurses feeling this way?

Look into travel nursing. Amazing pay and you don't feel stuck in the workplace situations. Or, there are SO many different types of nursing jobs out there. Don't give up! Also, don't think you have to tolerate what you don't like. It's your life and career. Explore your options! Good luck ❤️‍?

1 hour ago, Nurselives4coffee said:

I started in April 2020 and have switched jobs 4 times. 3 within my own hospital system. I tried neuro/tele, trauma/surgical/neuro ICU, and now I'm in ER. I worked way too hard to switch careers to just be miserable in nursing. Every unit has it positives/negatives but I learned what things I can not deal with and a big one for me was atmosphere. I thought it didn't matter who I worked with but after working in a toxic environment, I now know how important it is for me to work with good people. Don't ever feel bad for doing what's best for you because your job certainly will not. Good luck!

I'm so happy to hear that I'm not alone. It makes me feel crazy when my family and friends are working 9-5 work from home jobs, and I'm over here jumping ship every 6-12 months because I can't find the right fit. So many people don't understand the stress we go through. Thank you for understanding. ❤️

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