How can I improve my reputation?

[Gummibear_stare]

Last year, I had multiple health problems and had to take medical leave a few times and eventually go on disability. Last summer I got really sick during my shift at work. I reported to the charge nurse and house supervisor and left. I went downstairs and had labs drawn, urine taken, etc. Turns out I was really sick. The next day my doctor put me on disability. I felt really bad for leaving the floor while taking care of patients. I did call the unit the next day and apologized. I've been a nurse for several years and had never left any unit like that before.

Last month, I returned to work for the first time since last summer. My health is fine now and I'm taking better care of myself. I still work in the same hospital but on a different unit. I was out of work so long I lost my position on my old unit.

While at work a few days ago, an aide told me that she heard co workers from my old unit talking about me when she floated there. A few of my old co workers told her that I just walked off of the unit last summer and are surprised that I was hired again.

I feel a little hurt about hearing this. I was really sick that day and had never left a unit during my shift before during my entire work career. These old co workers didn't tell the aide that I was sick that day. They told her that I just walked off. I've never been written up, have always received good work reviews, and have been described as "thorough", "team player", "kind". Now, I think I have a little bit of a bad reputation.

My manager from the old unit was understanding about the situation and wanted to hire me back when she had an opening. It's just some of my old co workers that dislike me. How can I build my reputation? How can I let them know I was really sick? I have medical documents to prove it. I'm saddened that some of my old co workers feel this way about me and are telling people from the new unit that I work. I've taken steps to take care of my health so that I never have to leave during a shift again or have to take disability. Prior to last year I had good attendance too.

[Libby1987]

You've painted a broad stroke about how your coworkers feel about you even before your leave making me think there is a looming issue that would greatly benefit from some type of counseling. I'm not sure the underlying cause so I couldn't hazard a specific route but I would start asking those whom you trust.

[Gummibear_stare]

I've been diagnosed with social anxiety. I think I come across as socially awkward. People want the nurse that's good with others. I try to fake it. Strangely, some patients actually like me and my managers have never had issues with me. I'm not good with people. It takes more than being nice. There's something "off" about me. The way I feel about myself doesn't help either. The more bad stuff I hear about myself the angrier I get at myself and the harder I try to appear normal. I don't think I come across as natural and comfortable with people. I've been trying for years and I'll keep trying. I'm so mad at myself.

[mvm2]

Why do you think you have to be bold and brass to be a good nurse. I see many quiet and reserved people who are wonderful nurses. And I can say when I am sick it would be the more quiet and reserved nurse that I would like taking care of me then a loud and brass type personality.

[nurseprnRN, BSN, RN]

"Boy, it sure is good to be back. I got so sick suddenly that I had to leave in the middle of a shift, and I felt terrible about it. I was so glad when Ms. Nursemanager said she'd take me back when I recovered, and I am happy to see you all again now that the position has opened up."

End of story.

[nursy1, BSN, RN]

I would suggest to ignore the comments of others, sounds like gossip to me. The important thing is that you are healthy now and are able to work. Give it some time and your reputation will speak for itself. You obviously did not want health problems and sometimes people are just cruel, don't give them your energy. Just keep working and be thankful your health problems are over. I know it's hard and it hurts your feelings when people talk about you, but do your best not to let them get you down :)

[Libby1987]

They hired you back so they must value you.

Have you ever confided in one of the more mature compassionate and respected coworkers? Sometimes just getting one person to really see YOU and not who they're speculating you to be is enough to change attitudes. An alliance with someone who is influential and a leader in the unit.

[brandy1017, ASN, RN]

I feel embarrassed about last year's incident. I felt weak and like a failure. I was hoping I could start over again. Now, I'm thinking I should put in my two weeks notice and never show my face in that hospital again. People don't forget. They obviously really dislike me since they are telling people I just walked off. How can I get people to like me? I wonder who told this aide this.

No I disagree! You should stay! They obviously value you because they still gave you a position when you were able to come back. That says it all! Some places will simply fire someone once family medical leave expires. You are lucky to work at a place that values it employees and allows you to come back to work even after you were sick for so long.

Don't let your old coworkers get to you. They obviously don't know the whole story. Too often we are pressured to work when sick and you did the right thing to tell them you weren't able to work and went to the ER and was checked out showing you were legitimately sick! Your employer understands the situation that is why you weren't written up and they welcomed you back.

Stay where you are now, get to know your new coworkers and then decide if you like this new job better than on your old unit and go from there. If not transfer back to the old unit when a job becomes available.

Please don't quick your job over some gossip. Just do a good job and show that you are a good team player. Your new coworkers will respect you for who you are and the gossip will fade.

It sounds like a good place to work where employees are valued and treated with respect and understanding when they are ill. Believe me not every place or should I say every unit or manager is the same. My unit we are well treated and our manager will keep people on even after family medical leave expires. Another unit a different manager will just fire you if you aren't able to come back in time. This happened to a CNA on that unit and I hope she is ok. It is not always easy to find another job especially if you are older as this person was. So I say count your blessings and give this new unit and coworkers a chance!

[brandy1017, ASN, RN]

I've been diagnosed with social anxiety. I think I come across as socially awkward. People want the nurse that's good with others. I try to fake it. Strangely, some patients actually like me and my managers have never had issues with me. I'm not good with people. It takes more than being nice. There's something "off" about me. The way I feel about myself doesn't help either. The more bad stuff I hear about myself the angrier I get at myself and the harder I try to appear normal. I don't think I come across as natural and comfortable with people. I've been trying for years and I'll keep trying. I'm so mad at myself.

You are being too hard on yourself. You are not alone, there are many nurses who are quiet, shy and have social anxiety. It is simply part of the human condition. Also it is treatable, there are even books that offer cognitive behavioral techniques to overcome shyness. Sometimes people take meds or go to therapy, but many times it is not even necessary.

As a nurse we are working one on one with the patients which makes it easier. You don't have to be a social butterfly to be a nurse. In fact many patients like to talk so you can just sit and listen if you have the time.

[caliotter3]

You have a reputation with your former manager who wanted to bring you back, and with your employer, who rehired you. That is what matters. Stop giving attention to the gossip-mongers. While you may not like what they say, they do have the right to their opinions. Rest assured, they would not be voicing those negative opinions if they​ were the employee being gossiped about.

[Wrench Party]

As long as upper management likes you, you have a job, and you give good care to your patients, that's what matters. Who

gives a flying flip what some aide thinks about something that happened last year. Let your actions speak louder than your words.

Nursing has room for all types of personalities- I'm not sure where this myth of a 'nursing personality' started, but it's stupid and limiting

to the rest of us that don't fit that stereotype.

So, you're a little weird? So what. I am too. Own it, be proud of it, and I can guarantee that once you get more comfortable with all your

idiosyncrasies, it will put other people at ease. You gotta love yourself first!

[VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN]

As the saying goes, what others think of you is none of your business. You can't keep endlessly worrying about what your co-workers think or it will drive you crazy. Concentrate on the fact that your managers thought enough of you to rehire you, and work hard so that you're satisfied with your own performance. Nothing else matters at the end of the day.

[Lev, MSN, RN, NP]

It's natural to want to be liked. It's important for our self esteem. It's hard to do this but try to not care as much what your coworkers think of you. I think you may be putting in waaay to much effort to be likable that it's rubbing people the wrong way. Your manager liked you because you are a good worker. Your patients like you too. Some people are better at 1:1 communication. Be friendly and smile but don't push yourself into conversations. Stay away from gossip and toxic situations. Be a helpful coworker and a safe and effective nurse and you should be fine on your new unit. (Be happy you didn't go back to old unit). You don't have to "get back" your reputation. Just do a good job, don't get in anybody's face, and be a good nurse.