nursy1

It will all be okay & the right job will come along. Right now consider the fact that you are in a better position than someone without employment. I too felt that I was in a position that was making me lose my nursing skills. I worked in a long term care facility in a position that was newly created & I did very little patient care. I felt like it was useless. I hated it & I was too depressed. Just remember this too shall pass. You made it through school & you are employed!! Keep trucking forward & looking for a new position, one will come up. I had to do my "crappy" position for about 9 months, applying for other positions the whole time. Its discouraging to keep applying & not hear anything back. At the hospital I currently work at it was application #79 that got me the call back. Persistence pays off. Also, as much as you feel that you aren't using your skills, you are. As it was mentioned above, you are learning valuable time management skills. When you do interview for a job, highlight what you have utilized. Interviewers will understand that you are coming from a different world & have a different skill set than a nurse who is from bedside care. Just emphasize how you enjoy what you do, but your goal is to work in bedside care with patients. I wish you the best of luck, keep your chin up. It may take some time, but everything will work out.

I too work on a busy med-surg floor and the number of calls sounds about right on a "normal busy" day... Luckily my floor has not started using what we call "BAT Phones" in my facilty, but we will soon. We have old school pagers & they have a 2 minute delay, so by the time you get the page, the caller usually has hung up. We too have to hustle back up to the front desk to take the phone calls. The unit clerk will also over-head page me if there is a phone call. Whenever I get a page about a phone call, it usually doesn't differentiate wether it is a MD, family member, lab, etc. If im am busy with a patient I will usually use the call button & call the front desk to let them know that I cannot take the call & have them take a message. Also add to the fact that if pager is in my pocket & im in an isolation room I cant check it immediately. Also add the fact that the pagers are connected to the bed alarms for the entire floor, so every time a bed alarm sounds for any patient (even if staff is in the room with the patient) my pager goes off, so I get probably any where from 50 to 100+ pages a shift depending on the day. I know we will be getting phones in the near future and I am not looking forward to it. I wonder about patient privacy issues, If im in patient As room & the phone call is about pt B I shouldn't be talking about one patient in front of another. Also wonder about issues with contamination/safety.. If you are doing a dressing change, or helping a patient who is unsteady on their feet to the bathroom, wouldn't answering the phone be inappropriate. I guess I will find out in the near future. Funny, back in school I don't remember learning to how to time manage all the interruptions between phone calls, doctors, family members. Another side note... It seems to be law that my pager will go off every single time I try to pee... EVERY TIME!! And that one is always a page you need to respond to immediately. So I find myself rushing to finish, wash hands & run to the desk... I wonder if anybody else has the issue of never getting to pee uninterrupted. LOL.

Just an update on a very old post... but a very happy update. I think I was definitely way to oversensitive & critical of myself during my orientation/precepting process... I Have now been on my own for a few months & things are much better. I didn't get along well with my coworkers during my orientation & I know it was because I was so stressed out I was giving off bad energy & probably had a pretty crappy attitude. Glad to say that I am learning daily, as we all should do throughout our careers. I am doing well on my own, all those "mean" preceptors are now friends of mine, not close friends, but friends. I know that it was me & am glad to say that since my stress level dropped, people were able to get to know me & who I really am & overall it is working out great... Not to say there is never a crazy or bad day, but overall things are great (well as great as they can be when you work 12 hours on your feeet & those puppies are screaming at the end).. :) I AM LOVING MY JOB & MOST OF MY COWORKERS... VERY HAPPY OVERALL... Thank you everyone for the support when I was feeling so vulnerable & slightly psycho. LOL.

I appreciate everyones feedback & it has helped me a lot.. Just wanted to give a quick update... I went back to work after this and did talk quickly with my preceptor & apologized & let her know that I thought there might be a miscommunication & I wanted to start fresh.. She was receptive & I finished out my orientation without any further issues. That being said, I still don't thing she really likes me, but that's okay, she doesn't have to. If she (and others) are willing to work with me & we can all get along & work well together that is all that matters. She has been very helpful & I have made sure to let her know how much I appreciate it. I started this week on my own & it has been hard but I have made it. I have done 2 shifts so far & made it through each one without tears & without any harm to my patients... I think im doing okay (but what do I know??) I know that I am giving it 100% and that's the best I can do. I think in some ways it has been a little easier for me being on my own because I don't have someone watching & critiquing my every move, so Im not as self conscious... Everyone has been really helpful when I have had a question or needed help & I have made sure to thank everyone who has taken time to give me a hand. I just hope soon that I will be able to pitch in and help others when they need an extra hand so my co-workers will grow to learn that I am a team player & want to give back as much as I have received. Overall its been ok so far, just hope it continues to be okay & I continue to learn & grow as a nurse. :)

Wishing you some time to reflect, to summon the inner strength to approach your work in terms of what *you* are contributing each day, instead of focusing on what is *happening to you*. That is exactly what I am trying to do... I need to stop internalizing every little negative aspect of every work day. I hope I can take some of this advice I have received on here and apply it effectively to move forward in a positive way. I will try to stop posting now, mouth shut ears open :) (at work & on here). Hopefully I will be able to come back in a few weeks/months (hopefully sooner than later ) and updated as to how things have gotten better. Thank you everyone for your feedback & advice! Any further advice on how to start next shift & talk to preceptor to help things move forward positively would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!! And Happy Mothers Day to all the moms out there!!

Thank you for the advice on what to say, I was actually going to post on here and ask for some advice. Obviously saying "im sorry I made you angry" is not what I want to say & not what I really mean, I just want her to understand that I didn't intend on being difficult & wasn't trying to sound like I was questioning her way, but more overall asking questions... I know sometimes what you say & how you meant it to be received isn't the way the message gets interpreted. I hope to be able to say something to my preceptor that will hopefully let her understand that I want to be able to communicate effectively & move forward & let her know that I want to learn & I appreciate her taking the time to teach me. I just want to move past the ending of the last shift & move forward & build positive relationships with my coworkers

I know my post comes across as someone with an attitude, I had an attitude when I wrote it. I was upset & needed to get it off my chest, thought this would be a much better forum than bringing it to work. Good opportunity to get some feedback & vent. I don't want to go back to work with a chip on my shoulder. I want things to go well. There have been good days & bad days & when there is a bad day it is really hard... this particular day actually was a pretty good day until this incident.. and then I focused on all the little "bad" things instead of the entire picture. I appreciate all the feedback, I appreciate people calling me out on my attitude, and my behavior. it has helped me to look back at my behavior and understand where I went wrong. It has also helped me to understand all sides of the situation. So I was feeling sorry for myslef when I wrote this... and Im trying my best not to any more. Right now im more stressed about next time I go to work & how to handle it & what I should or shouldn't do. I want this to work out & I don't want to be perceived in a negative way. I am aware that I am the only one who can change that & I hope I can accomplish that.

Just so everyone knows, I fully intend on speaking with my preceptor next time we work together & apologizing for making her angry with me.. Not in those words... I need to think carefully how to word it not to come off insincere, which is how I am apparently being perceived. I may have ranted on here but im really trying my best at work. I appreciate everything I have learned. Im not going to say I appreciate the attitude, because I don't, but I have no intention on making things worse. I want things to work out with everyone. I want to succeed. That I why I post my rant on here & not at work, why I sit in my car & cry & not in front of them. I just want to learn as much as I can in the short time I have left on orientation & then try to be a good nurse, learn from everyone & do what I can to have good relationships with my coworkers.

The only thing that I am doing my way is my to do list... It is a version of hers, but I changed it so I have more detail- it goes on top of my brain sheet for each pt (which is her version). I have more detail.. On mine I have paper laid out landscape, a column for ea pt w/ their rm #, name, MD & accucheck at top & then rows with each hour below for odd timed meds & then under the times a "to do" to write in stuff as it comes up... Her version doesn't have names, just 1/2 sheet of paper with list of hours & small area next to if for "to do".. for me, I still need to write more down than more seasoned people & I would probably have each room filled in with hours... I admitted to her that in the future I probably wont need as much information in front of me, but right now it seems to work out with more detail... she wants me to have less detail & Im just not there yetl... that is the only thing I haven't taken her advice about.... for crying out loud, I even worked 3 shifts without sitting (until the very end of tonight) because she said I should stand in the hallway outside the rooms & chart... even if I had an hour free, that I would have less distraction... so I did... and she was right, for me right now, less distractions is better, so I stood. actually, one time when I said at the very end of the shift that I was going to sit at the back of the station & finish up my charting real quick, she replied "I think you should just stand there and chart"... My feet were killing me... but I didn't say (hey, im a lot older than you & my feet are going to fall off), I said okay... and then the next day I thanked her for the advice about the charting... I have been very courteous & appreciative for the advice given to me.... but the crappy attitude has to go... Im just over all of it.... done!

So I am at the point now that I almost wish I never went into nursing. I will start with the fact that I had a fairly successful career in finance... but really disliked what I did. I decided to put everything on the line & go back to school for my RN. It was a dream of mine since I was a child. My grandmother was a nurse, & was a nursing instructor when I was a little girl. I used to play in her classroom & help grade papers. I was exposed to it all of my life. I never had some glamorous career pictured, so please don't misunderstand and think I didn't know what I was in for (well nobody truly knows til they are there).. point is, I didn't think it would be prestigious or fancy, I just truly wanted to care for people. I tend to always try to take care of everyone anyway, why not do it for a career? So I put our family in major financial jeopardy by going to school, but I thought it would be worth it in the end. Well, now I don't know if it really was. Overall, I am absolutely miserable. My career didn't start out the way I hoped. I graduated 4 years ago. I got my first hospital job 90 miles away, great job, but killed me physically, so I left (way too soon). I took a position at a closer dermatology office, it was an okay job, I enjoyed my co-workers & enjoyed some of the hands on surgical procedures, but the pay was horrible & didn't help get out of the financial hole from student loan debt, and I wasn't utilizing what I learned in school. I stayed at the dermatology office for 2 years, looking for jobs elsewhere for the second year & didn't ever get a call back. So, long story short, they did me the favor of firing me while I was out recovering from a hysterectomy (very nice of them since I had a miscarriage during my first month there & they knew this was not a wanted hysterectomy). Either way, everything happens for a reason, I finished recovering, got my license for the adjacent state (im only 5 miles from border). Bigger city, way more hospitals, finally going to get my "dream" job of actually practicing nursing in a hospital... Not really. After almost 5 months of unemployment I found a position in a skilled nursing/long term care facility (first time applying for LTC, not what I was really interested in). Pay was decent, but still not really doing a whole lot of hands on patient care. My position was doing weekly assessments on the LTC pts & then a bunch (tons) of adminstrative work. I worked 50+ hours/week regularly & lucky for me, I did 20+ hours of mandatory overtime the last week of each month for "changeover". I knew I couldnt try right away for another job or I would be a job hopper... So I waited about 6 months & started hitting the hosptals hard. Did I mention that the administration was CRAZY in the LTC place, they were.. DON would scream at floor nurses that they were "****nurses*" in front of staff, vistors, residents. Just to give you an idea of the atmosphere. Luckily I stayed below the radar, but a very tense work environment with a very high turnover rate of nurses. So I finally land my dream job, the hosptial that was at the top of my list, application #74 I get my interview & get the position. Im on a med surg floor. Yay!!.... Well, maybe not. This has been miserable!!! I love the patients, (well most of them). But the co-workers kind of suck. I made the mistake of posting last week about NETY... I know, bad... And I learned alot from that, and started this week (i think week 5 of orientation) with higher anxiety than I had before. THanks for the head chomping on that one. Either way, my point is, I jsut want to be happy. I find myself coming home miserable every night. I cried half the way home tonight. I am so sick of rude people. I feel like every time I make one mini step forward someone is a jerk & knocks me on my butt!! There is a huge difference between teaching & being just rude. I had a rough time with my first preceptor, and now I have a new one & its worse. My first preceptor was very direct, quick & to the point. Also very rushed, made it hard to learn at times & increased my anxiety always rushing me & reminding me that I have a million things to do & only x amount of time left, but she was direct. Sometimes my feelings were hurt, but i knew she didnt mean to hurt them, she was just direct. I can handle direct, sometimes it takes a second to process the feelings, but I understood her intention. She would tell me "We have x amount of time to get you where you need to be" My new preceptor is one of those nasty nice people. If I ask her a question, she will look at me, cock her head to the side & say "I dont know, what do you think?" Well, If I'm asking a question about giving potassium IV for the first time ever, I think maybe this isnt the time to let the newby sink or swim, maybe we should look up the information together if she thinks i need to use my resources, not let me hurt a patient (nobody was harmed, or even came close, no mistakes made, but not because of her help). She also is one of those people that wants you to do things exactly the way she does them, well, okay, thats fine for most things, but if im getting my things done on time I dont think it should be okay for her to get mad at me for not using her version of a "to do list" if mine is working (my new list that i have attached to my brain sheet was my "ah-ha" moment for managing time & not forgetting things). She seems overall very annoyed with me, and the fact that she even has to precept me, which makes me feel like crap. I am trying by best to stay calm, be friendly (but not overly friendly, just nice). I feel like the entire floor is trying to test me, see jsut how far they can push me. When I got there today my assignment was 4 patients (normal is 4-6, supposed to be 4-5, seasoned nurses getting heavier load). I come to work 45 min early to get all my information for the day gathered, so Im as prepared as I can be, unpaid. Dont want a pat on the back, doing it for my own benefit, if it helps have my day organized then worth it. So after I have all info gathered, they re-do the assignment & give me another patient, so I am the only one with 5 pts & everone else has 4. Im a little annoyed & very anxious about getting everything done & not having the day fall apart, but i dont let it show & roll with it. And it was going fine. I made it. Deep breath!! My last straw with her today was the fact that she was mad at me because we both forgot we had to change a wound vac dressing - they are changed Mon WEd & fri - (which is apparently not done very often on my floor). So at 5pm she remembered & snapped at me that I had a ton of meds to give (and she did snap, like it was my fault there were meds). I had everything caught up for the day, and they were 5 & 6pm meds I planned on giving at 6 (cluster care like suggested). So I hurried & went ahead & gave the meds. She headed in the room at about 5:30 with another newer nurse & said for me to come in when I was through (I had 1 bag of fluids to hang). So I head in the room & she is showing the other nurse how to do it. (thought she was supposed to be teaching me things, but ok, we all need to learn, teamwork). This is a complex wound, 3 separate wounds, bridging all 3 (on backside)... I actually changed this woundvac last week with my other preceptor, so I asked a couple qeustions about her technique. She had HUGE peices of sponge (several cm wider & deeper than wounds) cut out & not at all shaped, just chomped at with scizzors & I very mously (quietly, meek, not sounding accusing) asked if we werent supposed to try to cut the peices to fit the wound. She said no, you dont need it to fit in there, when the suction turns on it will just suck it into the wound. OK, personally I dont agree, so I dont say anything, I start helping cut pieces of the drape. then i guess I crossed the line by asking one more question. I dont rememer what I asked & I was only asking for clarification about how we are supposed to do this (again, I really did not want to sound accusing or like I was telling her what I knew, heck, im the one learning, im not suggesting anything, just trying to understand). She throws down the sponge & scissors, looks at me & snapped at me saying "you know what, you do this however you want to" and stomps out of the room. I know, you are all probably thinking I was telling her how I knew how to do this, or how the right way to do it was x, y, z... but I promise you, I did not. Then the other nurse who was helping her left & said he had to go do something else & didnt have time to do this but he would send in someone to help me hold the patient (pt cannot move at all, & someone had to hold him rolled over on his side to get to the wounds). So they sent in a CNA to hold the pt so I could do the wound vac alone. Im telling you this is a bad wound, for the last dressing change my nurse manager & a very seaoned nurse did it because it was so hard)... Well, i got it done & not with huge peices of sponge gaping out of the wound. did I do it right, well I have no idea. I guess I will find out if I go back next week & hear about how the poor guy ended up getting the wound debrided again because the wound vac was crap.... Nice environment!!! Oh and half way through the very early night shift nurse stuck her head in to ask if i was done so she could get report... I just very nicely (which at this point was hard), said "no, note done yet, sorry". I will be out as quick as I can be (contact isolation pt, so nobody was coming in if they didnt have to). AFter I was done with that & then report I had some charting to finish up, not much, maybe 10-15 minutes worth (including the wound vac). While I was charting someone called about a pt who was discharged yesterday & night nurse answered, i had the pt, so I was telling her about him, d/c to another facility, bla bla... apparently daughter didnt know where father was... daughter was screaming & beligreant... I suggested maybe if she doesnt have the PIN # for pt information we shouldnt say more than the fact that he was d/c yesterday, preceptor says to tell daughter where we sent patient & give daughter the phone number (Nobody sure of family dynamics). Preceptor says "just tell her where we sent him & give her phone number, let them deal with it), night nurse asking me questinos about pt & preceptor stands up & snaps at us, well you can do whatever you want to, im going home!" What the heck??? Why the attitude. Its been like this with the attitude all week. And as i pointed out earlier, she is one of those nasty nice people. Never acts like this in front of managers. Is a very young little miss know it all & if you dont do it her way, apparently she will be very nasty (but not with anyone looking). This girl has the entire staff wrapped around her little finger, buddy buddy with everyone & i see right through it. Im just over it all, between the stress, anxiety, coming home miserable. Feeling like a big dumb peice of crap, I dont know if i can take one more crappy attitude. I know it is supposed to be hard, but it really sucks that attitudes of people have to make it harder. I dont expect it to be easy, but I dont want to come home crying & feeling like i have completely wasted the last 5+ years of my life.... I feel like i made the biggest mistake on earth... screw this job, screw nursing, I just want to go back to banking. I know not every person on every floor is like this, so im not saying anytihng about all nurses being like this, but this is my experience & this is how it is where I am at. Little witchy attitudes. God complexes. Everyone thinks their way is right, or they are new & they worship the little nasty preceptor... who for whatever reason dislikes me very much. Makes for a wonderful work dynamic, so on top of it being extremely stressful just trying to get the hang of things & trying not to look like a total moron, I can ad teh stress of feeling like im the ugly kid in middle school again... And who wants to go back to middle school? I am miserable at work, which is making me miserable at home..... is it even worth it?? Will I ever feel like its worth it?? Right now Im not so sure! PS for anyone who reads or responds, sorry for the length... I just had to get it out & nobody in my family understands & they are pretty sick of seing me miserable over my "dream job"...

Right now I am thinking I agree with you... I am actually getting ready to post my own rant... while not every single nurse is like that, there seem to be enough of them, at least from what I have seen, that it is easy to come to that conclusion.... It's a shame, because I'm pretty sure most people didn't go into nursing to become bitter, clicky, rude... the list can go on... but it seems many (again, obviously not all) become that way. It kind of reminds me of the teachers I have dealt with (as a student & parent) that just need to find another career, they didn't go into teaching to be bitter, intolerant, and have no patience, but I guess they get burned out... Oh well, it is what it is.

Your preceptorship probably won't count as experience for OB, you will probably have to wait until you already build some experience in a hospital and then try to get transferred to get into OB... Sometimes you might luck out and get there as part of a new grad program, but otherwise it's really hard to get there, peds will probably be similar. But still apply for those jobs, you never know til you try. But also apply for every job there is out there, it's a tough job market. Wish you the best of luck!!

Thank you for the feedback and advice. I actually already planned on getting a gift for her, she spent a lot of time working with me and I want to show my appreciation. We don't necessarily have a bad relationship at all. I have been looking forward to being a co-worker vs. orientee so I can just move forward & develop a working relationship. When she made the comment to me I was taken aback (less now after processing it) but we then proceeded to walk to the parking garage toghether chatting about our day and some of the crazy things that happened that day. She also told me that I could always come to her if I needed anything, which I smiled and replied that I would hold her to that (being funny and true- she understood what I meant). I am also aware that I would be stressed through this process no matter who my preceptor was, its just a stressful time, and the next few months will continue to be. Hopefully, I will continue to grow and learn and things will get a little less stressful over time. Thanks again for your feedback & advice!

Thank you! Sincerely! I appreciate your comment from the bottom of my heart! I understand now that the term is offensive, but being attacked by some (not all) for using it was kind of shocking to me. But people are free to their opinion. And it gives me an opportunity to learn & grow, and get some criticism that I can process without being at work in front of people. As a nurse, gotta grow a thicker skin, so this just helped it get a little thicker. Have a great day!

Maybe my terms I used here sounded like shade throwing, I really hope it wasn't received like that, I was trying to express that I see both sides of the situation. I never said she is stressed per se, just that I understand this must be hard for her (my company recently changed the orientation process incorporating classes during the precepting instead of before, and didn't inform the preceptors... this was a huge stressor on her, she expressed to me that she did not like it & I agreed with her it would have been better if during my shift I wasn't pulled away for 2-6 hourse 1-2 times a week, makes it hard on preceptor and me, and makes it hard for me (and my entire group who were hired at the time ) to establish a flow when you are pulled away from the floor for hours and then come back with all your work to still do, that's not the preceptors fault, its just the company trying to figure out a newer better orientation program, the educators received feedback from the group of about 30 nurses and the overall feedback was it wasn't the best way to go about it. They changed the program for the future hires, but we had to stick it out... luckily last week was my last class, so actually this upcoming couple of weeks will be probably the first time I did all 3 shifts without interruption (well class interruption's) I honestly don't think that I did any harm and hope I didn't shade throw... Its a new process for the company & weve been asked for feedback, I did tell them that if they are going to change the entire process, they should probably include the preceptors so they know what they are dealing with & can plan out their day/week/etc.