How can I improve my reputation?

[Gummibear_stare]

Last year, I had multiple health problems and had to take medical leave a few times and eventually go on disability. Last summer I got really sick during my shift at work. I reported to the charge nurse and house supervisor and left. I went downstairs and had labs drawn, urine taken, etc. Turns out I was really sick. The next day my doctor put me on disability. I felt really bad for leaving the floor while taking care of patients. I did call the unit the next day and apologized. I've been a nurse for several years and had never left any unit like that before.

Last month, I returned to work for the first time since last summer. My health is fine now and I'm taking better care of myself. I still work in the same hospital but on a different unit. I was out of work so long I lost my position on my old unit.

While at work a few days ago, an aide told me that she heard co workers from my old unit talking about me when she floated there. A few of my old co workers told her that I just walked off of the unit last summer and are surprised that I was hired again.

I feel a little hurt about hearing this. I was really sick that day and had never left a unit during my shift before during my entire work career. These old co workers didn't tell the aide that I was sick that day. They told her that I just walked off. I've never been written up, have always received good work reviews, and have been described as "thorough", "team player", "kind". Now, I think I have a little bit of a bad reputation.

My manager from the old unit was understanding about the situation and wanted to hire me back when she had an opening. It's just some of my old co workers that dislike me. How can I build my reputation? How can I let them know I was really sick? I have medical documents to prove it. I'm saddened that some of my old co workers feel this way about me and are telling people from the new unit that I work. I've taken steps to take care of my health so that I never have to leave during a shift again or have to take disability. Prior to last year I had good attendance too.

[wondergirl22]

I would like to add a little to my last comment and let you know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Please have comfort in knowing that you are not the only nurse out there who feels this way about themselves, you are not alone. I spent a great deal of my life hating myself because I always felt like I was different and that did not socialize like "normal" people. After I became a nurse I honestly asked myself everyday "*** was I thinking! Why did I choose this career??" I've been a nurse in the ER for seven years now, and I will say that on some days I still do question my career choice, but for the most part I enjoy my job. After years of struggling, I realized that this is my personality, I was born with it and I might as well embrace it because it's not going to change. I'm never going to be one of those fun-loving social butterflies that everyone is drawn to. Being like that would feel forced and unnatural to me. I still struggle with talking to patients and coworkers, but I have come to find that some people really do appreciate people like us. I find that many of my patients seem to feel more comfortable with nurses like us because they appreciate quiet people, many times it is because they are introverts themselves. Please don't continue to tell yourself that there is something wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with you. You are a smart and sensitive person, and I'm sure you care a lot about your patients and are a very good nurse. You were dealt this personality, just like I was. Please try to focus on the positive aspects of being introverted. I am not sure if you are on FaceBook, but if you are you should check out the page "Introverts are Awesome". It is filled with comments from people just like us, and it helps me a lot to read them.

[Gooselady, BSN, RN]

Even though it FEELS like something is wrong with you -- there is in truth no 'way' a person can be 'wrong'.

When I was younger, I was sensitive to negative feedback, read into it more than was really warranted, and pretty much blamed myself for every uncomfortable or negative interaction I had with someone.

Later on, it hit me that when social interactions went wrong . . . it wasn't necessarily something about ME that caused it. This was like a revelation LOL.

One thing that happens when you have social anxiety and low self esteem is how focused you get on yourself, all the things you are doing wrong, or might be doing wrong (whatever 'wrong' means).

A very powerful 'hack' when you have social anxiety is to do what the poster above suggested -- focus on other people.

Focus on THEM feeling good about themselves. Kind of like taking the Golden Rule and using it as your primary social interaction rule. Treat people the way you believe will support them, hold them up, encourage them. Especially encourage others.

Encouraging other people is the BIGGEST thing you can do to 'grease the wheels' of social interaction. What you do is create a kind of image of yourself in other people's minds as very supportive, kind, generous -- and confident! Confident people are always encouraging others.

Start small, and make it sound casual. "Wow, that was a neat way you did that dressing, I'm gonna remember that." and that's it. Don't make a big deal out of it. "That top really makes your eyes blue!" or "You handled that grumpy family member like a champ."

The more you focus on 'what's wrong with me?' that's all your whole life will be about! It's like a vicious circle .

There are some staff that you can easily begin with, and others that may be intimidating to you. Work your way up to them.

And THANK people when they help you, even if they give you a pen. You can show appreciation and encouragement without always saying the words.

Drop compliments to someone in front of other people. "You should've seen how she handled that! It was great!"

People, in general, no matter how feisty or shy or aggressive NEED to feel 'safe'. It is one human need you can always count on people having. So, make yourself into a very 'safe' person. Don't gossip or pass along gossip. Really listen when people talk to you. Repeat back to them what you hear, this really tells people you are listening.

And then -- laugh at yourself. Make jokes about yourself. That really makes people feel like you are safe. If you are laughing at yourself, you aren't likely to be judgmental of other people for making the same mistakes or silly things you are doing and laughing at.

This takes time, but it really builds on itself. The goal is to be less self-preoccupied (which is natural with social anxiety) and more focused on other people and what's going on with them. You are probably already good at this but don't know it yet. Usually people with social anxiety are excellent with empathy and being supportive and encouraging. This social anxiety thing could turn into a strength, but you have to do deliberate 'tweaks'. Practice, practice.

And wear a rubber band around your wrist so you can snap it every time you find yourself going into "I'm such a terrible messed up person." That is useless to go around thinking that way. Completely wrong and useless. After you snap yourself, deliberately focus on a staff member you like, and think of what they do that makes you respect them or admire them. And suddenly, your thought process is on a positive note :) And then, find a way to drop a casual compliment to someone. You can do this throughout the day at work. I promise it will make a huge difference.

People that pass along gossip like that CNA did ought to be ashamed of themselves. Why pass along stuff like that? I think the only reason they do it is because they enjoy the drama. Seriously. They like to watch other people be uncomfortable. She had NO business telling you that, and for all you know, what she told you isn't even true.

And then, compliment her . Seriously.