How can I improve my reputation?

[Gummibear_stare]

Last year, I had multiple health problems and had to take medical leave a few times and eventually go on disability. Last summer I got really sick during my shift at work. I reported to the charge nurse and house supervisor and left. I went downstairs and had labs drawn, urine taken, etc. Turns out I was really sick. The next day my doctor put me on disability. I felt really bad for leaving the floor while taking care of patients. I did call the unit the next day and apologized. I've been a nurse for several years and had never left any unit like that before.

Last month, I returned to work for the first time since last summer. My health is fine now and I'm taking better care of myself. I still work in the same hospital but on a different unit. I was out of work so long I lost my position on my old unit.

While at work a few days ago, an aide told me that she heard co workers from my old unit talking about me when she floated there. A few of my old co workers told her that I just walked off of the unit last summer and are surprised that I was hired again.

I feel a little hurt about hearing this. I was really sick that day and had never left a unit during my shift before during my entire work career. These old co workers didn't tell the aide that I was sick that day. They told her that I just walked off. I've never been written up, have always received good work reviews, and have been described as "thorough", "team player", "kind". Now, I think I have a little bit of a bad reputation.

My manager from the old unit was understanding about the situation and wanted to hire me back when she had an opening. It's just some of my old co workers that dislike me. How can I build my reputation? How can I let them know I was really sick? I have medical documents to prove it. I'm saddened that some of my old co workers feel this way about me and are telling people from the new unit that I work. I've taken steps to take care of my health so that I never have to leave during a shift again or have to take disability. Prior to last year I had good attendance too.

[Gummibear_stare]

I feel embarrassed about last year's incident. I felt weak and like a failure. I was hoping I could start over again. Now, I'm thinking I should put in my two weeks notice and never show my face in that hospital again. People don't forget. They obviously really dislike me since they are telling people I just walked off. How can I get people to like me? I wonder who told this aide this.

[AspiringNurseMW]

First off, I'm not an RN. So you can take my opinion with a grain of salt.

My question is you are getting all of this from what ONE CNA told you she heard? Who cares? Do the nurses you currently work with treat you any different? Is the way they treat you affecting the way you do your job? If the answer is no then let it go. What you can do is do your job to your best of your abilities and those rumors will soon be forgotten. I would not waste my time getting emotional or upset about what my old coworkers are saying, particularly if I don't work with or see them anymore.

[heron, ASN, RN]

Bear in mind that those who know the whole story may not disclose it due to confidentiality. Co-workers only know what they saw.

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

It's just some of my old co workers that dislike me. How can I build my reputation?

You cannot make people like you once they've decided they dislike you. Trust me when I say this is not a hill you want to die upon.

How can I let them know I was really sick?

My question is this: why would you want to invest the time and energy into informing coworkers about whether you were really sick when they'll never truly give a rat's ass about you?

Your coworkers are not losing any sleep over you. Your work life will be made much simpler if you stop seeking their approval. They dislike you. So what?

Several coworkers dislike me at my place of employment. Do you think I care about them? Do you think I am bending over backwards to improve my reputation? Nope. As long as my job fits my needs and enables me to pay the bills, no one at my workplace will have enough power over me to prompt me to seek their approval.

Good luck to you!

[mvm2]

Agree it really doesn't matter. You are good standing with the people that matter in the hospital.

I would never leave a job I love just because a few people have the wrong story. If someone ever walks up to you again and says that just nonchalantly say that is untrue to what happened and just walk away. They do not need to know that it was because you were sick. HIPAA is for you too remember...

Just go in there and know you are a good nurse. Maybe someday the rumor mill might get it right that you did not just walk off the floor. Until then don't let it effect you so.

[ArmaniX, MSN, APRN]

Focus on patient care and pay no attention to those who need to validate their life by discussing your own. You don't need to prove yourself.

[Libby1987]

So you didn't have an *acceptable* illness like cancer?

I have a different take on it, per usual.

I would just come out and sincerely say, "Yes, I was really sick and left them in a lurch, it was a very bad time for everyone," and then wait. I wouldn't waiver and I wouldn't try to explain or excuse any further. "Are you better?" .. "I am, thank you." And then my performance would speak for itself.

I just have a different style than the popular one, I care what my coworkers think of me. I don't need them to like me but I do want their trust and respect. And I don't have any problem owning anything, head up and kick forward.

[livert24]

No matter where you go, what you do, there will always be others trying to bring negativity into your life. Surrounding yourself with positive people who understand your situation is the best action you can take. By looking at these comments in just a short amount of time after your post, it's obvious you're not the only one who has been in this position. Know yourself, because that's the only person who matters.

p.s. I can almost guarantee those co-workers were talking about someone else the next day, and someone else the day after that, and then about each other to another co-worker after that!

[Gummibear_stare]

Thank you everyone for the replies. I feel like you, Libby. I care what others think of me. It seems like no matter how hard I try I'm not well respected. On my old unit some of my co workers would laugh at me. Some would put me down. One aide even got upset with me while I was in charge, yelled at me, told me I sucked, and called me stupid.

I try hard to be normal, fit in, be respected, and I think that's the problem. I'm sure I appear to be a socially awkward weirdo to others. Every time I think I'm doing well and have earned the respect of others, I hear something like this. People tell me that I'm quiet. Some tell me I'm shy. I try not to be this way. I try my best to appear outgoing, friendly, assertive, get along with others, know my stuff, and I still fail. I've apologized profusely for that day. I called the unit the next day and apologized, but people still talk trash about me. I try to treat others how I want to be treated and still I'm disliked. My managers like me, but with my co workers it's a mixed bag. I've never been well liked among most of my co workers.

I think it takes a certain personality for someone to be a nurse. You must be bold, outgoing, and a bit rough around the edges. I don't have it. I chose the wrong career. How do you get others to respect you? One of my friend's quit nursing. I wish I could too but I can't afford it. At this point I'm ready to throw in the towel but I'm stuck. How can I be that nurse that others respect? I'm sick of being taken as a joke. I go back to work tonight and I don't know why I'm going.

[Gummibear_stare]

Honestly I think this job has contributed to my poor health. I tend to push myself physically until I become very ill. This job's negatively affected my life and sometimes I wonder if it's worth it. My ideal job is a stay at home mom. Since I can't have that my second ideal job would be one where I don't have the responsibility of being in charge of others' lives. Nursing is stressful enough without the added drama. I think some people just have the gift of being good with people. Nursing is an ideal job for these people.

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

I try hard to be normal, fit in, be respected, and I think that's the problem.

I think the problem is perhaps you are trying entirely too hard. When you try too hard, you cede a great deal of your personal power to the people whose respect you're attempting to earn.

Let's flip the script... Is anyone going out of their way to be normal, respected, and fit in to earn your respect? I'll bet top dollar the answer is no. If no one is trying to earn your respect, why are you bending over backwards seeking approval and respect from coworkers who don't care?

Respect is a two-way street. You must give some to receive some. If your coworkers aren't reciprocating the respect you give, it is time to stop seeking their approval. Not everyone is worth your time. Good luck to you.