Ever date a patient? Or would you?

[MarkMyWords]

Of course, not while he or she is under your care. But after they are discharged, does this occur? I wonder. You see the patient sick and hurting and so it must be an unattractive turnoff. 

I had lunch with my (former) nurse once and didn't see her again but wanted to. Our ages were wide apart. 

[JadedCPN, BSN, RN]

Absolutely not. It blows my mind again that someone who “specializes in nursing ethics” would consider this. But maybe this is an adulting nursing thing that just seems ridiculous to me in pediatric world. 

[Hoosier_RN, MSN]

55 minutes ago, JadedCPN said:

Absolutely not. It blows my mind again that someone who “specializes in nursing ethics” would consider this. But maybe this is an adulting nursing thing that just seems ridiculous to me in pediatric world. 

It's ridiculous in the adult nursing world as well. There's ethical standards against such behavior in professional nursing. Mywords1, "Specializes in ethics", is a poster who has posted things that are so far off the ethics trail, that it's unbelievable. 

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

 I have never dated a patient.  I do know of one nurse that did, it was the talk of the unit. Nurses are human, they can date whoever they want. 

 I would not date a patient because the relationship started with me in the caregiver role. That would continue.. I would not want to be the caregiver/ mommy in any relationship.

[JBudd, MSN]

Nope. No dating.  Especially not if exchanging numbers while in hospital.  Now if you meet them socially somewhere else by coincidence and things take off... you might have met them anyway and no big deal.  I live in a semi-small city, that does happen.

But you can make friends. While one pt & I were talking, needing to distract him from the nasty things I was doing with his knee, about why I had just moved to our city, he mentioned he taught the singles Sunday school class at his church & invited me to try it out (just as part of our conversation). 

I did, and he & wife were very nice; eventually joined that church, got married there (much later, LOL), and we were all friends.  His wife was a great comfort to me the day after I lost my husband.

[dream'n, BSN, RN]

Easy answer: NO

[macawake, MSN]

15 hours ago, Mywords1 said:

Of course, not while he or she is under your care. But after they are discharged, does this occur? I wonder. You see the patient sick and hurting and so it must be an unattractive turnoff. 

I had lunch with my (former) nurse once and didn't see her again but wanted to. Our ages were wide apart. 

Of course it happens. There are millions of nurses worldwide, so it’s bound to have happened and will no doubt happen again in the future. However I don’t think it’s very common. You do not have to specialize in nursing ethics to realize that it’s frowned upon and I think for the vast majority of us, our minds simply don’t go there when we meet our patients.

Are you actually wondering if this happens at all? Or are you in fact asking us to share personal stories?

I agree with been there, done that. Apart from being all sorts of wrong, the idea of dating a former patient has never appealed to me. Because of the power imbalance and dynamics of the previous relationship and the fact that the patient has only briefly met the ”professional me”, I’d suspect that his interest in me was more based on a need to be taken care of, rather than on a genuine interest in me as a person. 

 

[Jedrnurse, BSN, RN]

On 11/7/2020 at 7:07 AM, macawake said:

I agree with been there, done that. Apart from being all sorts of wrong, the idea of dating a former patient has never appealed to me. Because of the power imbalance and dynamics of the previous relationship and the fact that the patient has only briefly met the ”professional me”, I’d suspect that his interest in me was more based on a need to be taken care of, rather than on a genuine interest in me as a person. 

I've never done it and I wouldn't go seeking it out, but I don't think that having interacted with another adult in a professional capacity permanently puts them on an ethical DO NOT DATE list. Obviously specific situations and their dynamics will differ.

As far as the- what I think you're describing, in a way- mommy issues- of a former patient, well, what is dating for, other than to get to know another person and see if you're compatible for a relationship...?

[MarkMyWords]

I am merely asking if this happens, not that you should. Its an objective question, and do not misinterpret me without understanding the broader field of ethics in society. Months or a year after the patient leaves the health setting is there still a power imbalance? Students and professors date after the student leaves the college and many of them marry so I hear. But it takes work and reconciliation on both sides and no one is shocked. It also happens a lot in other professions.

[macawake, MSN]

22 minutes ago, Jedrnurse said:

I've never done it and I wouldn't go seeking it out, but I don't think that having interacted with another adult in a professional capacity permanently puts them on an ethical DO NOT DATE list. Obviously specific situations and their dynamics will differ.

As far as the- what I think you're describing, in a way- mommy issues- of a former patient, well, what is dating for, other than to get to know another person and see if you're compatible for a relationship...?

I guess it pretty is much mommy issues I’m describing. Something I have a fierce allergy to ? I agree that dating is about getting to know the other person but I’ve never gone on a date with someone where I didn’t first feel an initial attraction. And for me, that’s simply not there with patients. I guess for me work is work, and play is play. And never the twain shall meet. 

I agree that not all situations are created equal. I used to volunteer for marathons and the like. And if I’d attended to a sprained ankle, dehydration or the like in such a scenario I think that’s quite different from my hospital trauma victims. 

[Sour Lemon]

I occasionally agree to go to the hospital cafeteria with a patient, then "forget my wallet". As a very beautiful woman, I feel entitled to Southwest Chicken Salad and Ginger Ale at no cost to myself.

[Jedrnurse, BSN, RN]

7 minutes ago, Sour Lemon said:

I occasionally agree to go to the hospital cafeteria with a patient, then "forget my wallet". As a very beautiful woman, I feel entitled to Southwest Chicken Salad and Ginger Ale at no cost to myself.

You little minx, you.