Terminated For Trying To Date A Patient

Dear Nurse Beth Advice Column - The following letter submitted anonymously in search for answers. Join the conversation! Nurses Nurse Beth Nursing Q/A

Updated:   Published  

Terminated For Trying To Date A Patient

Dear Nurse Beth,

I was terminated from a job in 2017 when I was a PCT. Should I put on my application  reason for leaving-terminated:?

In 2017 when I was a PCT I was terminated from a job for the first time ever. I worked at a hospital in psych and a patient who was an adult and her own guardian there for a suicide attempt liked me and talked to me a lot. She flirted with me and I was flattered but stayed professional. She asked me to connect with her when she was discharged. I was new to the areas and did not have a lot of friends and honestly liked her and wanted to go out with her.

I knew it was on the line and may not be a good idea. I messaged her on facebook and the next morning I got a call from my supervisor for abuse allegations. I ended up losing my job for a social media violation and being in contact with a former patient. I messaged the former patient and heard back from her a few days later.

She said her mom, who had mental health problems, got in her phone and saw the message and contacted HR because she recognized me. She was sorry and said even though she flirted with me I stayed professional on the unit and she did not feel I should have lost my job over it.

It was such a depressing experience I never even went out with her and felt it was best to stop communicating with her.

If I could go back I would have never messaged her and since then have kept my patients and their families at a professional distance and never accepting friend requests or interaction by social media.

Share this post

+ Add A Comment

7 Answers

Specializes in Tele, ICU, Staff Development.

Dear Terminated,

It sounds like you really learned your lesson the hard way. It is so clear that you take responsibility and are sincere that it's hard to imagine an employer holding it against you 6 years later.

Even so, here are some guidelines for the application and interview.

If the application doesn't ask the reason for leaving, say nothing-just dates of employment. If the application does ask the reason for leaving, use soft language such as "let go" or "laid off".

Be prepared to explain further in an interview if asked. How you explain the incident is more important than the incident itself.

Be brief and positive. "A patient reached out to me and I responded on social media. Even though we never connected, I now understand it breached professional boundaries."

I really don't think this will hold you back.

Best wishes,

Nurse Beth

Specializes in Managed Care.

This could have ended tragically. I worked with a female psychiatrist who lost her license to practice medicine when she got involved with one of her patients. He committed suicide and his parents found evidence of their affair and moved forward with legal action. She paid out a lot of money to fight it, but ultimately lost her career, her military pension, and her license. I don’t know details around the suicide or if it was related to the relationship, but it is sad that she crossed that line. She may have missed clues that his mental health was deteriorating. In any event, good luck and I hope you truly did learn your lesson. 

Specializes in Geriatrics.

In the realm of psych you have to consider the patient is more than suicidal, they may have other mental health disorders such as reactive detachment, borderline personality, bi- polar, etc. You were putting yourself at extreme risk by reaching out to her. This person may be manipulative and obsessive, and this could have ended very badly.

It sounds like you understand what was wrong with your actions. I will still comment on a couple of details for others reading, or yourself if you still need to hear it (not trying to chastise).

Quote

a patient who was an adult and her own guardian

You included these two details so I kind of assume you think they are relevant to the situation...so...it needs to be said that they are 100% irrelevant in this situation.

Quote

I knew it was on the line and may not be a good idea.

When we think something is "probably okay" we still need to check ourselves carefully. But man...when we think something is probably not a good idea, that's when we just don't do it.  Losing one's job is very probably the least of the utterly terrible things that could've happened here.

Anyway...wish you well going forward in a stronger position than you were before ~

Wow, yea I just would try not to cross that line ever.  You can sometimes never know what people's real intentions are, and what they are capable of if it doesn't work out..

Specializes in Tele, ICU, Staff Development.

JKL33 

wise as always

Thank you, and also want the poster to know that I think you gave excellent advice and this is perfectly worded:

On 6/3/2022 at 11:02 AM, Nurse Beth said:

"A patient reached out to me and I responded on social media. Even though we never connected, I now understand it breached professional boundaries."

??

+ Add a Comment