Am I unmarketable with burned bridges?

Dear Nurse Beth Advice Column - The following letter submitted anonymously in search for answers. Join the conversation!

Updated:   Published  

I have been a RN 16 years and lost my wife of 32 years 2 years ago, been fighting depression and anxiety, tried to get back into the work force for the last 8 months was hired then 3 months in just quit, I did it again. When I am there I take care of my patients great then depression slides in and I just give up, What should I do? 

Share this post

+ Add A Comment

4 Answers

Specializes in Tele, ICU, Staff Development.

I'm really sorry about your loss and your depression.

You are marketable, you can definitely land a job, but your primary problem is depression. Once you get that taken care of, everything else will work its way out.

Depression is a treatable medical disorder. Your primary provider can help you, and an appointment is a phone call away.

Here are a few other steps to consider:

  • If you haven't already, consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor. Often, just having someone to talk to can help you process the grief and stress. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is especially effective for anxiety and depression, helping to reshape thought patterns and cope better with overwhelming feelings.
  • Build a support system. Reach out to family, friends, or support groups (even online). Having people who understand what you're going through can provide a lot of comfort. Consider joining a support group specifically for those grieving the loss of a spouse—many people have gone through similar feelings.
  • Practice self-compassion. It's easy to be hard on yourself when things aren't going how you'd like, but try giving yourself some grace. You're facing a lot right now, and taking things slow is okay. Getting back into work after loss and depression is a huge step, and even if you've quit a few times, it doesn't erase the courage you've shown in trying.

Ultimately, you need to know that you're not alone, there is help out there, and you will get through this.

Best wishes,

Nurse Beth

Specializes in Psychiatry, Community, Nurse Manager, hospice.

Well first of all, few nurses are unmarketable, but especially one with 16 years experience. You're marketable, but you need to think about what you're ready for, what you need, what you want. What are the factors that lead to you quitting? What support would you need to go back to work? What do you want work to look like at this point in your life? You need to make some changes, and you will figure this out. Losing a life partner for 32 years has rippling effects that require a rebuild. You might need some time off too. 

 

 

Sincere condolences to this poster. I always imagine that this is right up there with the saddest and most difficult of things to go through in life. Congratulations on your many years together, I hope you have some wonderful memories that will bring you comfort in time. 
 

If you haven't already, I agree please talk to your PCP about help in getting a handle on this.   Take care ~

Specializes in LTC & Rehab Supervision.

I am so sorry for your loss. But, it dawned on me as I was reading the comments: Perhaps your feelings and compassion can go to a career in hospice nursing? That would be wonderful for you, I think.

Just a thought.

+ Add a Comment