I got into a debate with a high school friend on FB (I have since hidden his posts since I can't see his politics without raising my blood pressure) about this last summer.
I posted a link to an article about a girl sent home because she was wearing a sundress with spaghetti straps. Yes, she was out of dress code, but my point was that the dress code is overly restrictive and leads to body shaming for young women.
His argument was that men are biologically hard wired to look at women's bodies.
My argument was that why are we teaching our young women that they need to cover up instead of teaching our young men not to ogle.
I lost him when I asked "At what point does the man assume responsibility? When a young woman is on the stand being asked what she was wearing and if she'd been drinking?" He didn't see the connection.
In reference to the post above, "Which God" (I don't know how to quote). I mean the one and only God, the LORD of the Bible. But I can understand why you wouldn't want to discuss that right now!
I like this thread, though. It sure is interesting.
Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.
In reference to the post above, "Which God" (I don't know how to quote). I mean the one and only God, the LORD of the Bible. But I can understand why you wouldn't want to discuss that right now!
I like this thread, though. It sure is interesting.
Parakeet, if you want to discuss religion in schools, it would be best to do so in the break room side in the ethics/philosophy/religion forum. This really isn't the thread for that.
Growing up, we never had school uniforms. I don't know if the schools I went to do now, but it was always sleeveless was not allowed, no flip flops, and we had the fingertip test for length of shorts/skirts.
I am shocked at the way I see some young children dressed when I'm out and about. Yes, there's freedom of expression but then there's also dressing in a way that reflects positively on the person. Underwear not showing, clean, not torn...
No. This is not what my talks with the girls are like.
What is a !@#$%^& uniform, btw?
And can boys wear it, too?
I was not recounting a conversation simply stating some opinions on modesty held by women that I know and love. And no, boys dont wear a @#$% uniform because as hard as society is trying to make it so, males and females are different. And no amount of hypocrisy masquerading as feminism will change it either. Part of being a strong smart woman is taking responsibility for the things that you do/say/wear. It seems that many young girls want to choose their actions and the consequences. It does not work that way.
I was not recounting a conversation simply stating some opinions on modesty held by women that I know and love. And no, boys dont wear a @#$% uniform because as hard as society is trying to make it so, males and females are different. And no amount of hypocrisy masquerading as feminism will change it either. Part of being a strong smart woman is taking responsibility for the things that you do/say/wear. It seems that many young girls want to choose their actions and the consequences. It does not work that way.
This sounds suspiciously like "Did you see how short her skirt was? She was asking to be raped!" to me. Perhaps that was not your intent, but that's how I perceive it.
I agree, but what I've seen is that girls are held to a standard that boys are not. (Girls shouldn't show bra straps, but boys are "allowed" to walk around with their boxers showing. And, being honest, if no one is correcting them they are allowed to do it.)
And, the argument that we hear is that spaghetti straps and sun dresses are distracting, not that they should look neat. Should be teaching our children to be able to dress appropriately? YES! But let's do that with your thoughts, and ban under garments showing. If girls want to wear spaghetti straps, let them, but require the strapless bra instead of a ban that encourages stereotypes and micro-aggression.
I feel there should always be a level of respect that shows confidence, individuality and appropriateness. What I'm getting from this board is that the level of what is considered "appropriate" varies dramatically. And that's where the shaming begin, I don't fault a lot of people for believing that modestly dressed shows self esteem or high value.
But for the people saying that how you dressed, look etc should be your sole or most determining factor of your worth; I have a couple words. A little girl in a flowery dress with spaghetti straps shouldn't have to feel awkward or embarrassed of what she's wearing just because a couple freaks can't control their sexual reactions.
I've worn shorts to class in campus, that doesn't mean I solely worn them to be oogled and get attention. Maybe, just maybe, I worn what I wore yesterday because it was hot and I felt confident in the outfit.
In this regards, women are judged often very harshly for what she wears. People seem to always think they know why a woman wears what she wears and does what she do. Case in point my conversation with my sister yesterday.
On the other hand, Uniforms in school are a great idea. I didn't realize it until a year after I got out of highschool. Kids don't get the reasoning of uniforms itself, but then again children don't understand a lot.
I'm pro uniforms in school but not pro telling grown up individuals what they cannot or should not wear. It's really mind numbing and I truly di not know what a "whores" outfit is.
Speaking of dress codes, there is NO dress code for staff at my school. I guess they expect that teachers should know how to dress professionally. Unfortunately this is not entirely the case. I have a teacher who regularly dresses like she is going to the club, complete with 6 inch spiked hooker heels.
This past fall I had a teacher show up to school in nothing but a sports jersey that came to mid thigh and boots (it was theme week). Administration would have most likely looked the other way if not for comments of important visitors who were at the school for an inspection related to grant money. Said teacher did not want to go home to change so she comes to me for tights. Of course I did not have tights and sweat pants were not acceptable to her, so she ended up having to go home to change anyway!
Oye!!!! There are a few in my district......on in my school, one in another......there are days they look like *****. It is embarrassing when someone from the public makes mention of it. I direct them to admin....who are mostly male and afraid to be accused (IMHO) of sexual harassment.
I like uniform dress codes. No one is singled out. I continue to see adults that can't seem to figure out what type and color of underwear to wear under specific colors or fabric types. There are plenty of bras with clear straps and tank-t bras to keep us from looking at your bras. Just like there are seamless panties that keeps us from viewing panty line. My point is: If adults can't seem to dress themselves then we must help them keep the children decent. Likewise children do try to sneak out in undesirable attire. Professional dress (or uniforms) seems to lower the attire-related distractions. I feel that it grooms children for a professional appearance. A lot of workplaces have dress codes as well.
Boys can be taught not to gawk......but why are young ladies dressing like that?
They want people to look at them
Have a frank conversation with these girls
They dress like that cause "everyone else is" and they want someone's attention
It is not body shaming asking girls to dress with some self respect.
Same with boys.
This. The goal shouldn't be to teach kids to cover up so that no one will look at them. It should be to teach kids the need to dress appropriately and in a way that makes contextual sense. Life is full of dress codes, written or unwritten, that apply to many situations. School isn't a "professional" environment per se, but it's not a bar, either. It's not that outrageous to expect kids to fully cover their undergarments and key body parts (male or female).
Farawyn
12,646 Posts
No. This is not what my talks with the girls are like.
What is a !@#$%^& uniform, btw?
And can boys wear it, too?