Cried at work... in front of a doctor!

tokmom, BSN, RN · Jul 16, 2011

Dr's sit with their pants around their ankles just like the rest of us. The smart ones know if they treat us with respect their lives are made easier.

I have one MD that can be a butthead, and when he is I don't go out of my way to have his charts ready. He can go hunt them down himself. His side kick, this wonderful PA, get his charts handed to him. :lol2:

Don't beat yourself up over the crying. Some docs are just jerks and know how to push the right buttons.

Forever Sunshine, ASN, RN · Jul 16, 2011

When a demi-god smites you you cry- When the cashier at the store is nasty to you, you bark back and call the manager- the store headquarters... You just have to get out of the mind set that the doctor is anything special. He (or she) is an employee of the group he works for, the hospital, the HMO... just like you. You wouldn't put up with that from the clerk at your Walmart- why would you cry over it from the doctor. If your opinion about your skills is good- why should you care about his (or her) opinion. I'm not saying be rude or obnoxious in return- but a cold " I sorry you feel that way- perhaps you should be more clear with your orders in the future" feels very good.

Excuse me but if you were nasty to the cashier first.. we have every right to bite back at you... I worked retail for 4 years. I've dealt with many nasty customers and not once did I let them win me over. They got theirs. We were a big family and talked about you when you were gone. Maybe next time you will give that "walmart clerk" a little more respect.

OP- I think your tears were just stress. We all cry at work one time or the other and I've had a doctor yell at me too. I did cry but not in front of people and I didn't let the doctor see an ounce of emotion from me. Because that would just go straight to her head.. I just said, "ok I apologize for the misunderstanding, there was a lot of noise around me and I couldn't hear what you said.. " (This was just my case) And then the emotion hit me and 15 minutes later I ran into the oxygen closet and could barely shut the door before the water works hit.

ckh23, BSN, RN · Jul 16, 2011

Hold your head high. Some doctors are great and some are D**ks, just like some nurses are nice and some are nasty. Over time you will learn to stand your ground and also learn to save their a$$ countless times with things that you catch. Some of them are just bully's and the best remedy for a bully is to stand up to them and let them know you are not going to take their crap, regardless if you were right or wrong. Even if you did something wrong there is a way to address it professionally and not like some child having a temper tantrum.

Yiggs · Jul 16, 2011

I don't think it was unprofessional to cry in front of doctors or other members of care team. However, for most nurses it is like an "unspoken rule" - do not shed a tear and do not breakdown during an altercation with a doctor no matter what! Be professional and accept responsibility for whatever you think you had messed up on and fix what you can fix, and make him aware of what you have done to correct the mistake, also, I would let him know that I WILL be more careful next time. Also, review the situation and see what went wrong, what was the error in your thought process/action and work towards not repeating the same mistake again. All of us as nurses have messed up at one point or another. I remember I called a critical lab to a doctor on one of her patient, took a telephone order to 'fix' the abnormal only to realize the lab result was for another patient not the one I called the doctor on. The patient did not actually get the medicine or lab ordered, but needless to say the Doctor was obviously upset that had I almost put her in a precarious position. I felt terrible to say the least, I apologised and reassured her the patient did not get the meds and labs ordered. Subsequently, I check and double check before I call a doctor with lab/test results. For a while I felt embarrased and almost 'professionally inadequete' (if there is such a thing) everytime I see the doctor. Take heart and learn from the situation and make sure you have "all your ducks in a row" when you are taking care of his patients. You will get through it...Yiggs

Mulan · Jul 16, 2011

OP - PLEASE don't feel like u are alone here!! I have nursed for 20 yrs this yr, and I can't count the times an MD have made me cry. Not too often before I had time to get away, but I have started to cry right in front of the MD, patient and/or family member more than once. All posters have given u excellent advice, please remember it's ok, we are human and sometimes this will happen. U aren't alone.
The worst memory I have of crying in front of a doc is about 15 yrs ago - I was working on a med surg unit and had a Down's pt who was 8 days post op. He had a colon resection and PT had been getting him up and letting him ambulate. This man was almost 50 yrs old, and had been on RA for 3 plus days even while ambulating. I checked a sat on him before walking him and it was 98 percent on RA. We were walking in the hall, and he started seizing right there walking with me and coded close to the nurses station. We called a code, and we weren't able to revive him. The pulmonary doc that ran the code looked at me and said, "U killed this man. I should make u call his family and u can tell them u killed this man!!" Cue the tears!! It was horrible!
I ended up having to go home early, just couldn't get a grip after that.
I have to say karma came back to bite him on the butt. A few days later he was on the unit and tried to sit in a "bar stool" type chair and fell off of it. He laid on his back with his arms and legs in the air, looked like a dog scratching his back in the grass. Did I laugh? I bet u know the answer to that one.
Anne, RNC

Why did you kill him? Because he was on room air?

What a horrible and inappropriate thing to say.

gettingbsn2msn, MSN, RN · Jul 16, 2011

Don't worry, karma will get him eventually. Obviously, this bast*rd has not learned that nurses can make his job much easier.

Don't worry about your tears. Everyone has a day like that eventually. My former charge nurse told me this and it is true.

anotherone, BSN, RN · Jul 16, 2011

A doctor lectured me today and got so upset with me over a misunderstanding and lack of communication for one of his patients. As he was lecturing me, I started to cry. I know I should be more tough and hold the tears for later... but I just couldn't help it. I felt so bad that I made a mistake and I got the doctor that angry. I felt so unprofessional and I can't help but wonder what that doctor or the 4 others that saw the whole situation thought about me. I'm a new grad and have been working for only 10 months. Was it really bad to look at and totally unprofessional? Thanks everyone for reading.

Going to be honest. If it was where I work. most of the drs would probably laugh/roll their eyes at you as would the nurses. Some of the nurses would gang up with you and mock those drs next time they did something wrong or a mistake or ex ordered a med that can't be crushed to be given through a peg tube etc. That's what happens where I work. Only saw one nurse cry in front of a group of drs after they yelled about a order(non stat) not being followed RIGHT AWAY. It depends on where you are in the social heirarchy of your unit.

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Jul 16, 2011

It's funny; I never was terribly intimidated by doctors, even when I was new. Perhaps it was because I was already pushing 40 by the time I graduated, or maybe it was just that MDs are mere humans like the rest of us---they are made from the same raw materials, they have good days and bad, and they look just as absurd sitting on the toilet as anyone else. But whatever the reason, I've had only the rare assbite from a doctor, and I've never allowed them to bully me.

I have had to remind a few of 'em that we are supposed to be on the same side when it comes to our patients' best interests. Sometimes they get so caught up in this "me-doctor-you-pond-scum" peeing contest that they forget to treat the patient, and a wise nurse will very politely and respectfully hold their feet to the fire:

Me, to ortho surgeon who discharged a TKR patient to my rehab facility with only PRN Tylenol for pain: "I need orders for pain meds so Mrs. Smith can do her rehab. She only had that total knee a few days ago and she is in excruciating pain."

Ortho: "Hmglmph."

Me: "Well, we want her to get better and go home, don't we? And you can't blame her for and she won't do her therapies if she's in this much pain. How about some Vicodin, at least?"

Ortho: "She wasn't complaining about pain when she left the hospital."

Me: "That was hours ago. She's now sitting in our therapy room, crying."

Ortho: "So whaddaya want me to do about it?"

Me: "GIVE HER SOME PAIN RELIEF."[/i] The unspoken "you moron" hangs in the air but is never actually said.......nor does it need to be, as the doc promptly gives me a telephone order for Percocet 5/325, 1-2 tabs PO Q 6 hr. PRN moderate to severe pain. :smackingf

Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP · Jul 16, 2011

I cried once, in front of a doctor that I worked with almost every day and generally we liked each other. We still keep in occasional touch, even. He's a good person and a brilliant doctor.

But back when I was in the throes of PP depression with my first baby I made a minor error. Nothing that directly affected any patient; it was a paperwork mistake. He yelled at me about it in the hallway in front of a couple patients and coupled with the fact that not committing suicide was my goal for each day (yes, literally), I lost it. I was working out a two-week notice at that point, so the next day I walked into his office and closed the door. I told him that while I understood that I had made a mistake and would work to be more conscientious in the few days we had left together, I didn't appreciate being yelled at. I told him that if he had something to say to me, that he was free to pull me aside and bring it to my attention but that yelling was not appropriate. How I managed to be that assertive AND that logical in my fragile mental state I'll never know. But he did apologize and we managed to have a decent last few days working together.

Sometimes you do have to grow a pair and tell people behaving inappropriately what you will and won't accept from them. This goes for doctors and everyone else.

FlyingScot, RN · Jul 16, 2011

I had a crying episode in which I actually stamped my foot I was so angry with a doc for ignoring a critical patient. Yep, it was a full-on 4 year old girl temper tantrum. Got called into the office on that one. Would I do it again? You betcha!

mskate · Jul 16, 2011

I have been made to cry by MDs too when I was a new grad... it sucks. I feel your pain.

sissiesmama, ASN, RN · Jul 16, 2011

That is hilarious!!

He he he!!!! I guess I should have shown some maturity than that, but like I said, I still had a case of "prickly butt" due to the "call Mama that u killed her son" well, u know...:hpygrp:

Anne, RNC