Cried at work... in front of a doctor!

sissiesmama, ASN, RN · Jul 16, 2011

Love Karma. I would have been in that dr's face for what he said to you post code. That's BS.

Thank u!! :) I mean, a Downs patient that gets to that age - I had seen DS pts not make it close to that age - and it turned out when the PCP made rounds after he came back from the weekend, he apologized for all of it, and also relayed some of the history we had not known at the time for some reason - congenital cardiac defect and a long standing history of seizures. Autopsy results also helped my ruffled feathers.

Anne, RNC

beewink · Jul 16, 2011

When I read posts like these I wonder why there is such a lack of teamwork in medicine. Mostly between doctors and nurses - there is such a power play on the part of the docs that gets in the way of what is best for patient care. I just don't get it. It is like pulling teeth sometimes to get appropriate orders. So frustrating.

butterfly134 · Jul 16, 2011

I understand that afterwards you might feel a bit embarrassed and annoyed at yourself for crying. I know this is slightly off the point but Im a nursing student (out of high school)and I cried once because I just wasnt feeling well and was overtired and homesick, the nurse in charge let me take a break and call my mom. I was well embarrassed the next day. My point is that its ok to cry sometimes, its a human emotion. Everyone crys sometime! Just try to pick urself up, hold ur head up high and move on. What else can you do? :)

Kateoh82 · Jul 16, 2011

I dated a Doc for two years, and had a brief two month relationship with another one... I hate to sterotype but a lot of them have narcissistic qualities...they love to belittle and talk down at times. I'm sure im my lifetime I may get yelled at by one at the workplace but i won't be as intimiated because of my experiences... I'm sorry that happened to you... They are just people, like someone posted above, not GODS!

xtxrn, ASN, RN · Jul 16, 2011

LOL--- I'm curious as to why it matters? Isn't rudeness still rude no matter if it's coming from a male or female?? :)

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Jul 17, 2011

LOL--- I'm curious as to why it matters? Isn't rudeness still rude no matter if it's coming from a male or female?? :)

In my humble opinion, gender does matter. A male nurse who makes a mistake is far less likely to be screamed at by the doctor in the presence of patients, families, and coworkers than his female counterparts. The male doctor who avoids getting into a shouting match with the male nurse is the same doc who will scream at, belittle, and verbally abuse the female nurse without any hesitation.

I have been made to cry by MDs too when I was a new grad... it sucks. I feel your pain.

Do you realize that no one else can make you cry? If someone commits a wrongdoing against us, we have the power to choose our reaction. Therefore, we can choose to cry over the screaming doctor, or we can choose to be assertive and bite back. By the way, I have not cried over anything a doctor has said or done to me in my five years of nursing.

xtxrn, ASN, RN · Jul 17, 2011

In my 26 years, a jerk was a jerk, regardless of gender.

netglow, ASN, RN · Jul 17, 2011

I think I am too old to cry for coworkers behavior. I am a natural born smart ass. Tell me OP, was he a short man? If you are tall like me, there are ways to physically emphasize your inherent supreme-ness. I kid you not. I have done it. And it is often the short , red-faced, sweaty ones that are such the nuisance to have underfoot. Also you can just turn around and calmly walk down the hall and into another patient's room and begin cleaning them up or turning. If they shout after you ignore them. If they follow you, throw some wipes at them and tell them they have to make themselves useful if they want to roll with you.

mommywithplenty · Jul 17, 2011

Excuse me but if you were nasty to the cashier first.. we have every right to bite back at you... I worked retail for 4 years. I've dealt with many nasty customers and not once did I let them win me over. They got theirs. We were a big family and talked about you when you were gone. Maybe next time you will give that "walmart clerk" a little more respect.

IDK, I was at the theatre and bought nachos at @$10 anyways the tray was almost empty, I question the guy he said" my manager was tired of people complaining so we now count out 22 chips( can you imagine hiring someone to count chips?). As this was already rung in I figured I should count the said chips, there was only 20 chips and 2 were half ones, back in the line I went to complain about my missing chips, laughing my butt off. The lady must have thought we wee crazy though quite a few people supported me.We ended up getting another cashier which filled the tray. Was I being unreasonable and nasty?

xtxrn, ASN, RN · Jul 17, 2011

I used to ask a co-worker when she got upset if it was worth engraving on her tombstone to get upset.... sometimes it is....sometimes not so much :)

brandy1017, ASN, RN · Jul 17, 2011

I must be lucky because the doctors I've worked with treat nurses with respect and consideration. Rude doctors were very few and rare and would never get me down. I would stand up for myself right away and put them in their place. But again this is a very rare situation. There is a camaraderie and team atmosphere, and I was always surprised by nurses afraid of doctors or calling doctors. But if a doctor refused to order a treatment that was necessary I would work around it, calling a consult or even having a patient transferred to ICU thru our supervisor for closer monitoring. Now with the MRT team it is even better! They have the ability to step in and order tests, treatments with their protocols.

I have a great respect for the doctors' knowledge and skills and the time and effort it took to get there. They are struggling too with healthcare as it is today. Never saw them as Gods, but recognize they work long hours, sacrifice, and many get pushed around by the same hospital bean counters as us.

On the other hand, I have experienced too many rude and bullying nurses, coworkers ganging up with cliques, then I care to remember. It is far worse because you are stuck working with them day after day and you can't retaliate. It's not like you can go and slug them out and put a stop to it and you can't really tell them off. Frankly, I'd rather deal with doctors any day, even the rude ones over some coworkers I've had the misfortune to meet.

Thankfully the harassment is in the past and the bullies moved on to greener pastures and probably to other poor souls. But if I weren't at work I would have fought back literally and taken care of the problem alot sooner.

Never let them see you cry. When you cry you look weak and will only encourage and reward their nasty behavior. Believe me it is much better to get angry and fight back!

devilsdontcry · Jul 17, 2011

Think of that experience as a short coming that you will surely get over with. What you can do is to learn from such experience to avoid another similar incident to happen. As nurses, we have to be independent and assert our function as nurses. That's why you have to fortify the body of knowledge we already have. Let us put away the common notion that nurses exist just to carry out the medical doctors' orders. Do not let other health care professionals over power you. Next time, do not cry in front of them If you can't help but cry, try your best to hold it back until you can cry all alone (of course we should not suppress our feelings after all).

You are a nurse no matter how new or old you are in the field of practice. Deal with times like these, learn from them, and dare to surpass the challenge.

You can do it! :)