Cried at work... in front of a doctor!

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Jul 16, 2011

I felt so bad that I made a mistake and I got the doctor that angry.

You did not 'get the doctor angry.' You do not have the power to make another individual happy, sad, or angry. Rather, people have the power to choose how they're going to react to the things that you do. In other words, the doctor chose to become angry over the situation when he could have chosen to be calm and collected. It was his choice to get angry.

Unfortunately, some people are vultures who will move in for the kill when they notice any signs of weakness, including crying, cowering, and an unassertive posture. Do you think that the doctor is going to lose one minute of sleep over the fact that you were crying, distressed over the mistake, and felt terrible over 'making him angry'? The answer is no. In all probability, he has moved on in his life while you are still feeling bad. He has succeeded in renting too much space inside your head.

My advice is to develop a backbone. Become confident in your nursing skills, interventions, and time management. Most importantly, exude confidence when dealing with people in the workplace. Please avoid viewing the doctor as an authority figure, because many new nurses make this mistake. View yourself as a collaborator in the healthcare team and a manager of the patient's care. Good luck to you!

Orange Tree · Jul 16, 2011

Along with everything the commuter said, remember that everyone falls short sometimes- even physicians who lecture nurses.

suanna · Jul 16, 2011

When a demi-god smites you you cry- When the cashier at the store is nasty to you, you bark back and call the manager- the store headquarters... You just have to get out of the mind set that the doctor is anything special. He (or she) is an employee of the group he works for, the hospital, the HMO... just like you. You wouldn't put up with that from the clerk at your Walmart- why would you cry over it from the doctor. If your opinion about your skills is good- why should you care about his (or her) opinion. I'm not saying be rude or obnoxious in return- but a cold " I sorry you feel that way- perhaps you should be more clear with your orders in the future" feels very good.

xtxrn, ASN, RN · Jul 16, 2011

A very calm "I would like to hear what you have to say when you can talk to me without being abrupt and condescending"....and walk away (unless he's giving an actual order). And you cried- the earth didn't slide off its axis. it happens.

I had a patient one time who had hiccups as a side effect of a medication. A small dose of another med was the standard 'fix' ... when i asked the doc about the med to help the patient, the doc told me (over the phone, and very grumpily) "All you can do for hiccups is put a bag on their head".... so I wrote the order "Paper bag to head prn hiccups" T.O. Dr>>>/J. Johnson RN

He wasn't as much of a grouch after that :) :nurse:

sissiesmama, ASN, RN · Jul 16, 2011

OP - PLEASE don't feel like u are alone here!! I have nursed for 20 yrs this yr, and I can't count the times an MD have made me cry. Not too often before I had time to get away, but I have started to cry right in front of the MD, patient and/or family member more than once. All posters have given u excellent advice, please remember it's ok, we are human and sometimes this will happen. U aren't alone.

The worst memory I have of crying in front of a doc is about 15 yrs ago - I was working on a med surg unit and had a Down's pt who was 8 days post op. He had a colon resection and PT had been getting him up and letting him ambulate. This man was almost 50 yrs old, and had been on RA for 3 plus days even while ambulating. I checked a sat on him before walking him and it was 98 percent on RA. We were walking in the hall, and he started seizing right there walking with me and coded close to the nurses station. We called a code, and we weren't able to revive him. The pulmonary doc that ran the code looked at me and said, "U killed this man. I should make u call his family and u can tell them u killed this man!!" Cue the tears!! It was horrible!

I ended up having to go home early, just couldn't get a grip after that.

I have to say karma came back to bite him on the butt. A few days later he was on the unit and tried to sit in a "bar stool" type chair and fell off of it. He laid on his back with his arms and legs in the air, looked like a dog scratching his back in the grass. Did I laugh? I bet u know the answer to that one.

Anne, RNC

biker nurse · Jul 16, 2011

Doctors are people with a different degree and out look then we have. DO NOT give them MORE Power than that!! They put their pants on one leg at a time like the rest of us! Next time you see this doctor, remember that. Doctor does not=GOD!!!

allnurses Guide · Jul 16, 2011

Don't you dare let that happen again!

I'm taking you by the shoulders and shaking you!

Noooooooooooo!!!

I had a cocky young surgeon who was doing his damnedest to make me look like an idiot.

Of course, as a student, I didn't need his help!

He kept grilling me and grilling me and would not stop. It got to the point where he was just mocking me.

I'll let you grill me. As unpleasant as it can be, I get the point of it. Make me think... teach me... fine.

BUT... mocking me. And yes he was. I'm pretty thick-skinned and have been around the block but he was fast becoming unprofessional.

We had the whole unit gathering around us like it was a great show.

He kept me for nearly and hour. Yes, he did.

I told him flatly, "Listen, I'm all for learning the hard way but you're not teaching now. I don't even hear you anymore. I'm shutting you down."

Boy, did his eyes get big. I also told him he was "sick" when I ran into him later and I laughed.

He must've thought I was nuts.

lol

I didn't get into trouble, either.

Trust me, I don't care about someone being grouchy or an ass. That's on them, not me. I'm still going to ask you questions and listen. You can call me stupid and laugh in my face...

But no way am I going to let you make me cry and no way am I going to put on a show for a whole unit (that, interestingly, cried they "don't have time" and were overworked, but suddenly have time to watch a student get reamed for an hour!).

Doctors aren't God and respect goes both ways.

allnurses Guide · Jul 16, 2011

I have to say karma came back to bite him on the butt. A few days later he was on the unit and tried to sit in a "bar stool" type chair and fell off of it. He laid on his back with his arms and legs in the air, looked like a dog scratching his back in the grass. Did I laugh? I bet u know the answer to that one.

:yeah:

That is hilarious!!

Kooky Korky, BSN, RN · Jul 16, 2011

Am curious as to gender of yourself and of doc.

Altra, BSN, RN · Jul 16, 2011

Am curious as to gender of yourself and of doc.

OP's profile lists her gender as female, and she uses the pronoun "he" to refer to the doc in her post.

tokmom, BSN, RN · Jul 16, 2011

OP - PLEASE don't feel like u are alone here!! I have nursed for 20 yrs this yr, and I can't count the times an MD have made me cry. Not too often before I had time to get away, but I have started to cry right in front of the MD, patient and/or family member more than once. All posters have given u excellent advice, please remember it's ok, we are human and sometimes this will happen. U aren't alone.
The worst memory I have of crying in front of a doc is about 15 yrs ago - I was working on a med surg unit and had a Down's pt who was 8 days post op. He had a colon resection and PT had been getting him up and letting him ambulate. This man was almost 50 yrs old, and had been on RA for 3 plus days even while ambulating. I checked a sat on him before walking him and it was 98 percent on RA. We were walking in the hall, and he started seizing right there walking with me and coded close to the nurses station. We called a code, and we weren't able to revive him. The pulmonary doc that ran the code looked at me and said, "U killed this man. I should make u call his family and u can tell them u killed this man!!" Cue the tears!! It was horrible!
I ended up having to go home early, just couldn't get a grip after that.
I have to say karma came back to bite him on the butt. A few days later he was on the unit and tried to sit in a "bar stool" type chair and fell off of it. He laid on his back with his arms and legs in the air, looked like a dog scratching his back in the grass. Did I laugh? I bet u know the answer to that one.
Anne, RNC

Love Karma. :yeah: I would have been in that dr's face for what he said to you post code. That's BS. :mad: