I have noticed a rash of posters here asking for advice, opinions and help, only to get all puffed up when people are honest and frank in their replies.
Here is the basic rule on a general open forum such as this:
If you don't want to know the truth, don't ask. If you cannot handle the truth, don't put your situation out there for general consumption.
Another fact: People don't have to agree with you to be helpful.
Seriously so much "butt hurt" that is so unnecessary.
I see a lot of helpful posters trying to answer questions honestly, only to be slammed for being "rude"......
Just keepin' it real and wondering if it's just me noticing a big trend here.
From the TOS: "This means you are free to disagree with anyone on any type of subject matter as long as your criticism is constructive and polite. Additionally, please refrain from name-calling. This is divisive, rude, and derails the thread."
Since polite disagreement is within the TOS, can we all refresh our memories as to the definition of polite: Being courteous and civil, using good manners, etc. Refraining from name-calling isn't too difficult either; just don't use language such as "You are (unflattering characterization)"; "You must be (unflattering characterization)" and so forth.
Another thing I've seen happen is where threads take on a life of their own and becoming more of a broad discussion, rather than a discussion of whatever specific scenario the OP was originally talking about.
Unfortunately, some OPs don't realize this and take every comment being made as being made about them and their situation. They fail to realize the discussion moved beyond them long ago and they're being offended for no good reason.
Another potential pitfall of online communication.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
OH yes, Brandon, that is true. Someone before me said, "once you put it out there, the thread is no longer your own". I agree. My original intent was clear here, but I expected disagreement with me and can deal with it. I am not foolish enough to think everyone should agree with me and I will hear things I may not like.
That is the nature of public forums online. We get all kinds of input and no one is more "right" than the other. Just differences exist.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
And on a side note for those that think posters are rude when they make note of things in the original post that wasn't directly sought out as items needing advice I would disagree. When I read a post I am dissecting it in my mind, not just taking it at face value. We are nurses and this is how we have been trained to view things. If a patient presents with a fever we don't just take their temperature and say "yup you got a fever" lets give you some ACTM to get the fever down. We take vitals, do a H&P, consider other signs and symptoms possibly order labs, right?
If someone is laying out a scenario that I feel I can offer some advice on and they have posted without the caveat that they just want to vent or are looking for cyber hugs I am going to answer regarding what sticks out to me without apology.
I'll do that even if they do say they were just looking for cyber hugs. Cyber hugs are OK, but practical advice is priceless.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
From the TOS: "This means you are free to disagree with anyone on any type of subject matter as long as your criticism is constructive and polite. Additionally, please refrain from name-calling. This is divisive, rude, and derails the thread."
Since polite disagreement is within the TOS, can we all refresh our memories as to the definition of polite: Being courteous and civil, using good manners, etc. Refraining from name-calling isn't too difficult either; just don't use language such as "You are (unflattering characterization)"; "You must be (unflattering characterization)" and so forth.
It's not that difficult.
I enjoy those threads where the OP doesn't get the agreement from everyone he thinks is his due, so he spits out "I'd never want YOU to be MY nurse; you're MEAN!" and flounces off the thread announcing that "everyone is too mean and I'm outta here." Popcorn goes well with those threads.
I enjoy those threads where the OP doesn't get the agreement from everyone he thinks is his due, so he spits out "I'd never want YOU to be MY nurse; you're MEAN!" and flounces off the thread announcing that "everyone is too mean and I'm outta here." Popcorn goes well with those threads.
The word flounce is completely underused and underrated. Thank you, Ruby Vee. Great word.
many many more good points made on both ends of this topic. nothing more i despise more than when people make this pious suppositions based on a single comment or line they read in the post.
"you must be a student" "you seem immature" "you must hate nursing" "you must not be telling the full story"
someone mentioned a bit ago that its not a big deal to make an assumption or analysis based on what theyve read, and i wholeheartedly agree, but this goes back to the original point i made which was ---who cares ? what good does simply pointing that out do for anyone or even the topic.
an OP posted a thread of story about a reprimand for some pretty sketchy behavior they displayed in the clinical setting. it was pretty obvious that the poster exercised poor judgment, and was feigning the acceptance of responsibility by "understanding" what they did was wrong whilst simultaneously creating excuses for their behavior. And needless to say there were some glaring inconsistencies and what one could only assume was overt embellishment. Posts like that to me are nothing more than pure comedy. Everyone reading is thinking the same thing, but it got really old when the poster was asking for advice and the only response they would get from several readers were "you made a bad decision. good luck". If you have nothing to contribute or say that is relevant or of value, do you REALLY feel compelled to just spew out a condescending one liner ? or better yet when that same condescending response has been posted over and over on the same topic board and someone comes along and thinks "you know what? i know this response has been said 20 times already, but i really think that 21 times will really help the point sink in.":roflmao:
boy that was a lengthy post. i had no idea i felt so strongly about this haha thanks for bringing this to my attention OP
Specializes in NICU, PICU, Transport, L&D, Hospice.
I'm only going to comment that if the fellow I am firing looks like he just rolled out of bed every morning at work, smells bad, and the patients are complaining about those things...I am going to tell him all of those things BEFORE we ever get to a termination. He has a right to know that is how he is perceived so that he can make changes to improve that perception.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
ABSOLUTELY!!!!
I'm only going to comment that if the fellow I am firing looks like he just rolled out of bed every morning at work, smells bad, and the patients are complaining about those things...I am going to tell him all of those things BEFORE we ever get to a termination. He has a right to know that is how he is perceived so that he can make changes to improve that perception.
i suppose in a situation where a career is on the line, a more direct approach would be best for everyone involved. So allow me to modify the scenario a bit by replacing the firing with something a lot less drastic such as.... a response on an online forum board?
Specializes in NICU, PICU, Transport, L&D, Hospice.
i suppose in a situation where a career is on the line, a more direct approach would be best for everyone involved. So allow me to modify the scenario a bit by replacing the firing with something a lot less drastic such as.... a response on an online forum board?
If a person asks a direct question on an online forum/board I am going to either give him/her a direct and straightforward answer or I am going to be a smart a$$, because that is who I am.
Susie2310
2,121 Posts
From the TOS: "This means you are free to disagree with anyone on any type of subject matter as long as your criticism is constructive and polite. Additionally, please refrain from name-calling. This is divisive, rude, and derails the thread."
Since polite disagreement is within the TOS, can we all refresh our memories as to the definition of polite: Being courteous and civil, using good manners, etc. Refraining from name-calling isn't too difficult either; just don't use language such as "You are (unflattering characterization)"; "You must be (unflattering characterization)" and so forth.
It's not that difficult.