But I have little kids!

SmilingBluEyes · Oct 22, 2003

Yes,putting one's children first is very important....but the PARENTS should be the ones doing the sacrificing...not the coworkers. I think that is the point many are trying to make here....being WILLING to switch is one thing....being PRESSURED or MANDATED to accomodate needs of childbearing families is another.THEY need to sacrifice,not the whole unit. THEY made the choice to have those babies, after all. It's what it's all about. Sometimes, career does come first.....not fair or fun but if you choose career AND family, you pay the price....and sometimes so do kids. People cant' have it all their way,all the time.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Oct 22, 2003

Originally posted by SmilingBluEyes
Yes,putting one's children first is very important....but the PARENTS should be the ones doing the sacrificing...not the coworkers. I think that is the point many are trying to make here....being WILLING to switch is one thing....being PRESSURED or MANDATED to accomodate needs of childbearing families is another.THEY need to sacrifice,not the whole unit. THEY made the choice to have those babies, after all. It's what it's all about. Sometimes, career does come first.....not fair or fun but if you choose career AND family, you pay the price....and sometimes so do kids. People cant' have it all their way,all the time.

Your point is excellent! The parents are the ones who should do the sacrificing, not everyone around them. Somehow I think that your point is going to fly right over the heads of those who most need to "get it," though.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Oct 22, 2003

Originally posted by jadednurse
So basically we were told that we need to be a bit flexible. My long point here is, she knew she'd have issues w/ an evening schedule/holidays to begin with. Either negotiate that up-front or don't take the job. Make it known that you have certain requirements as far as childcare commitments. Don't pretend to be flexible up-front just to get the job and then count on "the childless" to pick up the slack for you.

This is so true. People basically are told up front, I hope, what the units needs are and what your requirements to meet those needs are.

When hired we are told we work every other weekend. Well of course, a new grad with a child, thinks she deserves every Saturday off because of child care sitting issues. I know childcare issues fall apart at the last minute and it could be that her sitter situation changed the first weekend she had to work after getting hired. But I suspect she expected preferential treatment. She's come up to me and said "take me off Saturday and put me on such and such a day"....um...who is covering for you?

Bottom line is that having kids and working in a 24-hour facility is difficult. Working and having kids is difficult. Not working and being a mom/dad is difficult.

But Deb says it nicely, doesn't mean that it has to be difficult on the coworkers too. One can't demand and expect coworkers to cover your problems.

Mind you, we all help each other out on our unit. We just hired a new charge nurse to work opposite me. She's wanting Tuesdays off to go to PTA meetings. That's not too much to ask at all and I'll be happy to work every Tuesday for her. I told her not to worry about Xmas, to have a good time with her kids, I'm working Xmas. (She wasn't asking to be off, being the new kid she figured she was going to work, and she was so relieved to be with her kids on Xmas, and I can feel good that not only am I there for the patients who need care, but I made a coworker happy.)

In a 24-hour operation we all have to help each other out. Single people need accommodation sometimes two to attend events and do things. But no one should have a sense of entitlement when they are hired into a job where they know what the requirements are going to be.

ktwlpn, LPN · Oct 23, 2003

Originally posted by 3rdShiftGuy
When hired we are told we work every other weekend. Well of course, a new grad with a child, thinks she deserves every Saturday off because of child care sitting issues. I know childcare issues fall apart at the last minute and it could be that her sitter situation changed the first weekend she had to work after getting hired. But I suspect she expected preferential treatment. She's come up to me and said "take me off Saturday and put me on such and such a day"....um...who is covering for you?

Bottom line is that having kids and working in a 24-hour facility is difficult. Working and having kids is difficult. Not working and being a mom/dad is difficult.

And like deb said-it should not be your co-workers that have to make sacrifices to suit you and your needs...I work every other weekend also-I'll trade around when I am able but not at the last minute if it means that I have to work 8 days straight.If my DON hires a new nurse full time and tells her that she does not have the same weekend and holiday requirements as the rest of us the poop will hit the fan....I don't mind doing my share-but everyone else needs to do it also...That's only fair...

Hellllllo Nurse, BSN, RN · Oct 23, 2003

Originally posted by SmilingBluEyes
Yes,putting one's children first is very important....but the PARENTS should be the ones doing the sacrificing...not the coworkers. I think that is the point many are trying to make here....being WILLING to switch is one thing....being PRESSURED or MANDATED to accomodate needs of childbearing families is another.THEY need to sacrifice,not the whole unit. THEY made the choice to have those babies, after all. It's what it's all about. Sometimes, career does come first.....not fair or fun but if you choose career AND family, you pay the price....and sometimes so do kids. People cant' have it all their way,all the time.

Once again, SmilingBluEyes is the voice of reason.

karenG · Oct 23, 2003

this is an interesting discussion. I have 2 sons- aged 12 and 16. I chose to have them and have worked my career around them. they are the reason I work in primary care- it means no weekend work/no nights/ no late evenings. I have managed to do the nurse practitioner training- and studied when they were asleep. they come first and sometimes I have torn my hair out when my child care has fallen apart...but my choice. I wouldnt expect preferential treatment because I have them. At least in primary care there are no arguements about who has christmas off...we all do!

Karen

hogan4736, BSN, RN · Oct 23, 2003

Originally posted by karenG
this is an interesting discussion. I have 2 sons- aged 12 and 16. I chose to have them and have worked my career around them. they are the reason I work in primary care- it means no weekend work/no nights/ no late evenings. I have managed to do the nurse practitioner training- and studied when they were asleep. they come first and sometimes I have torn my hair out when my child care has fallen apart...but my choice. I wouldnt expect preferential treatment because I have them. At least in primary care there are no arguements about who has christmas off...we all do!

Karen

This person gets it...

Genius reasoning, and we should all listen.

SmilingBluEyes · Oct 23, 2003

yep some of us parents DO get it...

and it does not take genius

just a clue.

uk_nurse · Oct 23, 2003

People without kids pay more taxes,.... quoted by Hellllllllo nurse

Know going off thread a bit but can i just say as a married mother in uk i pay same amount of tax as a single person without kids and national insurance

imenid37 · Oct 23, 2003

I have 3 girls and I am very flexible. I work every weekend and fill in during the week when I can. When holidays come, I have to work them in turn w/ other people. That's ok w/ me. The fact that I work every weekend means that some others can have more weekend shifts off. What's my beef? When someone else whines that I am having a Sat. or Sun. off. Excuse me...I earn vacation too. I don't exist simply for the convinience of others. Although I don't get extra pay, I work (ususally 3 12's in a row) every Fri., Sat., and Sun. and I am considered full-time as is anyone else who has this schedule during the week. I am paid exactly the same for working the weekend as I would be during the week, as we have no weekend diff at my facility. And when is it that I would be able to use the 3 weeks of vacation and 6 holidays that I earn? I had someone tell me that they are"counting on the weekend off for hunting season" and demanded to know why I had to have a Sunday night off in December. I can not believe the nerve of this person! Some folks are just clueless. It's very similar to the notion that now my kids are no longer toddlers that I won't enjoy being off for Christmas. Hate to be nasty, but just LIVE WITH IT if it's your turn. I don't demand part of other people's paychecks, so don't ask me to give you something I have earned. Trade/negotiate, that's ok, but not an out and out handover to someone who is just plain selfish.

ratchit · Oct 24, 2003

Originally posted by SmilingBluEyes
Yes,putting one's children first is very important....but the PARENTS should be the ones doing the sacrificing...not the coworkers. I think that is the point many are trying to make here....being WILLING to switch is one thing....being PRESSURED or MANDATED to accomodate needs of childbearing families is another.THEY need to sacrifice,not the whole unit. THEY made the choice to have those babies, after all. It's what it's all about. Sometimes, career does come first.....not fair or fun but if you choose career AND family, you pay the price....and sometimes so do kids. People cant' have it all their way,all the time.

A very fair, calm, concise summary of a very long, emotional thread.

**STANDING OVATION***

amyslater · Oct 24, 2003

Do I smell hormones?