But I have little kids!

EastCoast · Oct 21, 2003

I am the only one with children in my group. I have just made a decision to go to a job that is better suited for my family life. I love my job but I feel that I miss an awful lot b/c i am at work. I have been very lucky in that because there are only 4 of us we try to be flexible with each other and switch to accomodate each other. I have tried straight nites, 24 hours shifts, and all weekends. However, I realize over the last year my home demands exceed my capabilites to 'do it all' and stay sane. So i've opted to look and find employment that allows just this. It might not be the job of my dream (tho you never know) but it will give my family more predictability.

allnurses Guide · Oct 21, 2003

Everyone is entitled to their breaks and if you are not getting yours, than that is your own fault. Please do not blame the breastfeeding mothers for you not getting your break. Insist on what is legally yours. The moms certainly seem to have more gumption and are taking their allowed breaks.

I still like the idea of putting out a list of #1, #2, #3 holiday you wish to have and then see who had what off last year and work it out that way. "Seniority only" consideration is not fair, in my non-union mind. Neither is giving priority to who has kids and who does not have kids.

And it is nobody's business what I do on my day off and I will not feel guilty for saying no but will try to say yes as much as I can without sacrificing my family.

steph

Dayray, RN · Oct 21, 2003

Wow,

So please tell me how my post became a rant about single people being selfish? Yes I did use that word but go back and read my post and you'll see that I never said such a silly thing.

Also I never said I was "Entitled" the having Christmas off. I have worked Christmas and didn't complain to anyone. My post was a reaction (possibly to hastie a reaction) to an attitude that I see as mean and unthoughtful. To insist that parents work Christmas just as matter of principal is mean.

Those of you who have my "thats selfish" comment in quotes go back and read what I said before it. Hey if you have something more then a kegger party planed I don't blame you for wanting to be off. At the same time show a little compassion for others.

So ill restate my position. If you have some special thing to do for Christmas I can see what your saying but if you just aren't going to work simply because "its not fair" you are selfish. I wouldn't want a policy saying that single people should work Christmas nor would I want one saying the inverse. I would however hope that people are kind to each other and try to be just plain be nice. "Ill work Christmas if you work new years" works great.

I guess I should qualify this and say, yeah I've seen people abuse the "i have kids" thing. Sometimes things happen and people have to ask for some grace at work but if your kids are sick every other day or the most important day of there life occurs biweekly then there is a problem there. At the same time if you let those abusers sour you to any excuse that involves kids you are going cause pain to allot of children.

I also want to apologies to 3rdshift guy, in reading your response I think I misunderstood what you were saying in the original post.

fighting the urge.. ah no.. must not ... open another can.. of wurms.... argh cant help it!

OMG you are mad at a women for pumping on her breaks??????? what the heck is wrong with you?

I hear this attitude all the time "its not fair", "someone has it better then me", "someone isn't working as hard as me".

Tell you what, take the time the nursing mother spends pumping multiply it by 10,000 and I guarantee it wont equal the amount of time you waste complaining or worrying about how someone else is getting a better shake then you.

Just think if you stop fretting and help the poor girl out she might actually appreciate it. and hey you might get to feel good about your self instead of feeling so rotten that "its not fair!".

tntrn, ASN, RN · Oct 21, 2003

I'm the one who takes exception with all the time some gals take to pump...in some cases far longer than their 15 minute breaks twice a day. And I'll be honest and say I was totally soured on the entire idea by one woman who insisted on pumping until her kid was at least 5 years old. Twice a day, 15-25 minutes each time.

If she wants to breast feed that long, that's her business, but it did impact the rest of the unit. whether or not we got our breaks. (and you're all right: we should stand and demand our legal breaks.) I think this person took advantage of all of us, and it goes right along with the theme of this thread: But I have kids (but I'm breastfeeding. Using the kid excuse to keep from pulling her fair load.

hogan4736, BSN, RN · Oct 22, 2003

Originally posted by SmilingBluEyes
wow hogan.....well it won't fly where I work....because

prn's have lives too. i know i do anyhow. and i am prn. but i will NOT work every holiday and every weekend day. nopers.

have a large enough pool where most of the prns work m-f...they'll know this going in...also have prns that will work during the week...your bases are covered...it has been done at some hospitals in Phoenix...

let go of the "everyone has to work every-other weekend" mentality, in scheduling...

i'll work th, fr, sat and my opposite will work sun, m, tues...a regular prn works the wednesday...

loosen up schedulers and DONs w/ "old school" attitudes!

my buddy was just hired for evry th, fri, and monday...his DON, if anyone asks (they always do..."WHY does so and so get to...), tells the busybodies that every mon/fri fulfills the "weekend requirements"

expand the mindset DONs...it's just a:

1) tradition issue

2) control issue

sean

live4today, RN · Oct 22, 2003

Originally posted by 3rdShiftGuy
...............You are making some parent happy because you're working. Just because you didn't volunteer or trade with someone doesn't mean you're not helping them.

Thanks Tweety! :kiss

tntrn, ASN, RN · Oct 22, 2003

hogan 4736: when you refer to a prn nurse what does that mean? I work per diem, but certainly do not and cannot expect to work a regular schedule. In addition, I'm the first to get put on low-census.

hogan4736, BSN, RN · Oct 22, 2003

prn just means a pool nurse...

For example, let's say i run an ER and am hiring...

you work m-f as a school nurse, for example, used to do er, and are looking to keep your skills, and want to work every sat 7-3... done deal...

bill works every other w/e (nites) in another er, and wants to do every other sat 11p-7a here.

sally works t, w, th in a clinic and wants every sun 12 hours...

jeff works double weekend in a LTC facility...I have an every tuesday need in my urgent care...he is down...

dottie is semi retired and only wants Saturday evenings and loves to work holidays (more money for her Laughlin trip once a month)

you, bill, sally, jeff and dottie are all prn status, w/ a regular schedule (and no requirements - placing mandations on PRN is silly, if you need it off, no prob)...no benefits, but 3 dollars more per hour than the average staff nurse...Hire 10 more prns, and I can give my full-timers the schedules that they want, AND they'll be more likely to cover for Bill for example, who is out of town this week, cause they need the OT

THESE PEOPLE ARE OUT THERE, you just have to make it worth their while...you save money (by using less registry and OT) in the long run...

everybody wins, and the FT nurse that works for me has a schedule that can be flexible (no sundays maybe)...

Oh, and my FT staff get first pick of the extra shifts (still cheaper than registry), then the PRN staff...It has ALWAYS worked for me.

sean

tntrn, ASN, RN · Oct 22, 2003

Nobody, not even the FT people, are immune from low census days in the hospital where I work. The FT folks contractually have a minimum they can be cut per pay period, but when the census is down, nurses are low-censused. We have the option of being on/call or taking the day off. For those who work two jobs, taking the day off and trying to work at your other place is a good option. However, the pool or per diem nurses are low-censused first, so you'd have a hard time keeping anybody who wanted just 1 or 2 shifts a week to stay very long because they'd be cut more than they work.

The part timers and per diems are given first choice at the extra shifts, because they aren't automatically on OT.

Glad that system works for you, but it definitely wouldn't fly where I am.

hogan4736, BSN, RN · Oct 22, 2003

sorry to hear that...

mandating full-time people off sucks for everyone...I won't do it, and have gone on record stating so...Not my fault, and everyone has bills...thank goodness they don't have contracts stating there is a minimum they can be cut per pay period...If enough people stood up against this silly policy, it would hopefully go away...

tntrn, ASN, RN · Oct 22, 2003

We'll be starting our contract negotiations very soon, and I'm sure it will come up again. The minimum hours cut issue for FT folks is actually something we negotiated in the last contract. Before that there was no minimum for anyone; low-census was done by seniority unless there were volunteers, which there almost always is/were.

The per diems were FINALLY put on a years'-of-experience grid and COL schedule. All the per diems, regardless of experience made the same thing. I made the same rate for 10 years. Once the new contract went into effect, my pay increased about 40%. That makes it well-worth my time, even if I do take low-census a lot. If I get called in while on/call, it's OT and on weekends especially, that's a very lucrative deal for me.

Maybe I should change my signon name to Union Goonette!

jadednurse · Oct 22, 2003

Hogan, your prn system sounds like a good idea. I bet your staff was very happy w/ that set up.

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OK, dare I give an example of the "but I have little kids syndrome"?

Just started a new job last week. not in the hospital setting, Disease Management company). The other woman that started w/ me has a 4 yr old. We were assigned preceptors by our manager. After the first week we were to follow our preceptor's schedule. Our department is a 24 hr operation (demand call center) but our positions are for coverage btwn the hrs of 7am to 9pm. This was stated in our interviews. The manager is very accomodating and we basically request our preferred schedules and we all make adjustments we were told. We can work five 8hr shifts or four 10hr shifts. Weekends are not mandatory as there are people who specifically prefer to work weekends. However, on occasion there are WE days to be covered. Also, most people prefer to do the earlier times during the week (7AM to 5:30pm 4x/wk).

So basically we were told that we need to be a bit flexible. So here this person is already complaining...she doesn't want to do the later shifts (ie, 11am to 9pm) b/c of childcare issues. So first she asked to switch preceptors w/ me, b/c the one I was assigned to had the primo schedule. She tells me that once we are off orientation and we start putting in our own schedules, that she will always be requesting the 7am-5pm shcedule b/c of her childcare issues. Well, I don't have children, but I would prefer the earlier schedule as well. Now, if she negotiatied this during her interview then fine. But she didn't. So now she is switching and swapping w/ me to get her schedule right. Of course she already asked me to work Halloween for her. She said to me "well, I figured since I have a little one and you don't that you wouldn't mind."

Did I switch...yes. But only b/c:

1) It didn't inconvenience me and,

2) I didn't have any plans.

I can only imagine this will be a habit.

My long point here is, she knew she'd have issues w/ an evening schedule/holidays to begin with. Either negotiate that up-front or don't take the job. Make it known that you have certain requirements as far as childcare commitments. Don't pretend to be flexible up-front just to get the job and then count on "the childless" to pick up the slack for you.

And please, no flames. I'm not generalizing, just sharing this particular experience of mine. And, I'm not minimizing the importance of putting your children first. I certainly don't blame this woman...I would put my child first if I had one. However, I would also have made my scheduling restrictions known during the interview process, or would have found a position that eliminated that to begin with.