But I have little kids!

susanmary · Oct 20, 2003

Great initial thread ... a bit bumpy along the way though. I do not believe that any one individual nurse is more entitled to a holiday off than the next nurse ... regardless of his/her personal life. I believe that rotating holidays is the fair thing to do. Perhaps having a nurse list his/her preference and work one of the Christmas holidays (Christmas Eve OR Christmas Day) and also one of the New Year holidays (New Year's Eve OR New Year's Day.) If there are too many requests for the same day off -- then seniority, who had the holiday off last year, and how flexible the nurse was during the rest of the year should factor in. Although I missed my family (kids included) on the holidays I worked, I did not feel more entitled to the holiday off because I had kids. I did the best I could for my family, went to work & did the best I could for my patients & enjoyed my holidays.

Dayray, RN · Oct 20, 2003

I disagree, I have 4 children and Christmas is a big deal to them. I volunteer to work all other holidays and have even traded days off so single coworkers can have the partying holidays off.

Yet every year come Christmas My name finds its way on the schedule. Last year I worked thanksgiving, Christmas and new years. I asked some of the people I had worked those party holidays for , to trade me and they said "no way! We are all having a keg party" (just like they did for every other holiday).

In the mean time my kids are all upset that I'm gone on Christmas.

Okay now, I can see if you are are single and have a tradition of going home every year or some special thing. But a keg party???

I realize that even people with kids are going to have to work some Christmas's but come on. If you can't see why we try to get the day off with our kids, you are just mean.

I personally could give a flip about holidays. However, my kids are already talking about Christmas and it's October. You can bet I'm going to do everything I can to be with them. I work OT, stay late and work every holiday except Christmas. being gone on Christmas would be total abandonment.

I was caught in the middle of something similar to this a few years ago. One of the older nurses on my unit was very involved in her church and hadn't missed a Sunday in like 30 years. Some of the other nurses got really pissed off and complained. "why should she get every Sunday off just because of church? I want every Sunday off blah blah". They didn't have any special reason for wanting Sunday off they were just mad because someone else was getting Sundays off.

They caused this poor women to miss church for the first time in many years. Now to you and I that may be no big deal but to her it was very painful. I finlay told the manager I would work every Sunday so she could go to church and that the ones who complained could also have Sundays off.

Those of you who are soooooo... upset about parents wanting Christmas off, what are you planing to do on Christmas? I mean if you plan on doing something with family I can see your point but if you are just mad because you want to hang out with friends or just upset as a matter of principal, then shame on you.

You need to understand that your spite is hurting little kids and not the parents you are angry with.

My gosh! it really is amazing that some people are so selfish, mad because people with kids want to be home on Christmas. give me a frigan break.

EastCoast · Oct 21, 2003

Originally posted by Dayray
I disagree, I have 4 children and Christmas is a big deal to them. I volunteer to work all other holidays and have even traded days off so single coworkers can have the partying holidays off.

Yet every year come Christmas My name finds its way on the schedule. Last year I worked thanksgiving, Christmas and new years. I asked some of the people I had worked those party holidays for , to trade me and they said "no way! We are all having a keg party" (just like they did for every other holiday).

You need to understand that your spite is hurting little kids and not the parents you are angry with.

I don't think anyone is intentionally spiteful to children. However, we have all heard countless times the 'i have kids' reasoning for so many things. When i worked as a manager I can not tell you the number of times a nurses babysitting problem, athletic game, or dance recital became my problem.

When do you plan on learning to make sure you seal the deal and get it in writing that if you cover my holiday i'll cover yours?? If you have continued to word all the holidays and no one covered your than that's close to martyrdom. Whether it's fair or not it seems you have allowed yourself to get screwed and now are mad at everyone who doesn't have kids for wanting the holiday off.

Everyone has a life. Kids do not make someones time more valuable. Who ever said that they weren't anyone's village was right.

The lady who's grandkids are volunteering at a soup kitchen should be applauded. Give thanks for the moments you do have. If i'm not home christmas with my kids...someone who loves them and me will help make the day nice until i get home. There are much worse things in life.

live4today, RN · Oct 21, 2003

MERCY ME! :eek: This thread sure turned out to be a WHOPPER of a thread, Tweety! :chuckle

Over 8,000 views! :eek: Sure are a lot of parents out there who are SERIOUS about spending holidays with their children, and rightly so. If I weren't working already for Christmas, I would volunteer to work for any parent on my unit so she/he could be home Christmas Day, but it will be my scheduled holiday to work, so won't be able to make some parent on my unit happy. Sorry 'bout that.

tntrn, ASN, RN · Oct 21, 2003

One reason why I work per diem is because most hospitals require you to work either Christmas Eve OR Christmas Day, same on Thanksgiving and same on New Years. That's really cruel to those who live far away from their families. The first hospital I work in had a vacation work policy that gave you either the TG holiday off OR the Christmas holidays off. So every other year you knew you could plan to go away: i mean like jet travel away. Otherwise I never would have been able to see my own parents and siblings on any of the holidays.

I worked my share of holidays, but could plan 10 years in advance if I wanted to. That was wonderful. The holiday work schedules most of you describe and at the place I know work is just plain punitive, IMHO.

As a per diem I have to be "available" for one of the summer holidays and one of the winter holidays. Sometimes I am "available" for more than that, but I get to choose. Most times, I don't have to work any of them.

And when my kids were little, I worked my every other TG days, and the next year it would be the Christmas days. My kids grew up knowing Christmas happened when we made it happen.

fergus51 · Oct 21, 2003

I couldn't agree with joy more!!! My dad was a shift worker (cop) and so we didn't always have Christmas December 25th in the morning, but we didn't care a bit. I think Dayray, you are talking more about your feelings than your kids feelings, and I understand why you would want to be home with them. I just don't think you are automatically entitled to every holiday off because you had kids (and you obviously don't either if you work all those holidays the rest of the year).

I have also been educated about the difference between being a team player and being a patsy. I generally don't mind switching shifts for people and have done a TON of switches in my time (working weekends, hollidays, etc). But, I was in for a wake up call when I needed to change a shift and couldn't find anyone to take it. It was a lesson and I don't feel the need to martyr myself by giving and never expecting any consideration in return. I am a nurse, I am not a victim and I don't feel any shame in that.

iliel · Oct 21, 2003

dayray...please don't sterotype single ppl, we don't all want to go to keg parties...and if we did, it's no ones biz. Being very far away from family myself, sometimes my friends are all I have, and they've become my family away from home.

kids need to be taught that chirstmas is not about gifts or even the 25th, it's about a celebration of family and friends. In a perfect world no one would get sick on christmas and we could all spend it at home, but that can't happen so we need to work around it.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Oct 21, 2003

Originally posted by cheerfuldoer
MERCY ME! This thread sure turned out to be a WHOPPER of a thread, Tweety! :chuckle

Over 8,000 views! Sure are a lot of parents out there who are SERIOUS about spending holidays with their children, and rightly so. If I weren't working already for Christmas, I would volunteer to work for any parent on my unit so she/he could be home Christmas Day, but it will be my scheduled holiday to work, so won't be able to make some parent on my unit happy. Sorry 'bout that.

I have to admit this is one of my better threads.

But the original point was, the nurse who said she should get the preferential treatment because she has little kids.

You are making some parent happy because you're working. Just because you didn't volunteer or trade with someone doesn't mean you're not helping them.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Oct 21, 2003

Originally posted by Dayray
Those of you who are soooooo... upset about parents wanting Christmas off, what are you planing to do on Christmas? I mean if you plan on doing something with family I can see your point but if you are just mad because you want to hang out with friends or just upset as a matter of principal, then shame on you.

You need to understand that your spite is hurting little kids and not the parents you are angry with.

My gosh! it really is amazing that some people are so selfish, mad because people with kids want to be home on Christmas. give me a frigan break.

No one is mad because parents want to be with their kids. Or if they are, it's one or two people in this thread. What makes childless people upset is that there are actually parents who feel they should be entitled to Xmas off because they have kids.

Just because you have four kids at home doesn't mean you should be #1 on the list of people who get the holiday off. While I feel that way, I certainly don't begrudge you your desire to get the day off, and if I worked with you I wouldn't wonder for a second why you want it off. Of course you want it off. It's Christmas.

I don't think the fact you work overtime or every holiday entitles you to Xmas off either. Sorry. I also don't agree that working Xmas is abandonment. But it's your family and I can't tell you how to feel, just that I don't see it that way.

But I do agree that those with no families and nothing to do whatsoever but lay around the house are selfish if there is someone with little kids who really wants to be off. But they should not be required to allow the person with children to have off.

Anyway, I have said my 2 cents worth. Most people on this thread are aware parents want Xmas off....duh and aren't angry with that point.

I'm a little torn about the every Sunday off thing. We are required to work every other Sat & Sun. I wouldn't be fair to give one person off because of her religion since presumably upon hire someone is told the weekend requirement. But it was selfish of your coworkers to make a stink out of it. It shouldn't have affected them that she wanted to go to church every Sunday. But they do have a point.

I hope you get Xmas off every year to be with your family. I seriously do. :)

Hellllllo Nurse, BSN, RN · Oct 21, 2003

Originally posted by Dayray
My gosh! it really is amazing that some people are so selfish, mad because people with kids want to be home on Christmas. give me a frigan break.

As a person without kids, I have worked the last 11 (that's right) ELEVEN Christmas Days in a row. I am not going to do it anymore. I think I've earned the next one off.

People without kids pay more taxes, (no deductions) and use less services provided by taxes (i.e. public schools, Medicaide, AFDC, WIC, CPS). I am always being asked to vote on budget overrides to have my property taxes increased to build more schools (another vote on Nov. 4). I always vote yes because although I do not have kids, I want all the kids in this nation to have the education they deserve.

And.. I sponser THREE little girls through Children International.

This week and next week, I am working extra to cover for a co-worker who has child-care issues.

Funny, some people react strangly to the fact that I don't have kids. The most common comment I hear regarding this fact is "that's selfish".

How ironic.

hogan4736, BSN, RN · Oct 21, 2003

establish a prn pool of people that:

1) can only work weekends

2) will gladly work holidays

3) have been known to come in at the last minute...

a smart manager won't throw a lot of requirements out at everyone...you'll be suprised at the allegiance you'll receive from your staff, and it will become a non-issue...

I've done it as as a manager (successfully)

sean

SmilingBluEyes · Oct 21, 2003

wow hogan.....well it won't fly where I work....because

prn's have lives too. i know i do anyhow. and i am prn. but i will NOT work every holiday and every weekend day. nopers.