But I have little kids!

flowerchild · Oct 19, 2003

I will say that I always appreciate it when people vounteer to work those holidays. The people who are most likely to volunteer are almost alway the nurses that do not have small children and do not have any family near by. They say that they will enjoy spending the day with other people and helping the patients than staying home alone. I believe that is why nurses with small children naturally look to those who are in that position to cover the holidays.

I have also worked with nurses who are of other faiths and do not celebrate Christmas, so they also are the ones who volunteer to work. Perhaps we should always start talking about holdiay coverage with a volunteer list. Granted this will not work for everyone, everywhere. It's just a start.

The last hospital I worked in had a pretty good system. The big three fall/winter holidays where treated seperatly from the other public holidays of the year. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. We had to pick 2 first then the 3rd choice after a specific date to cover the shifts from the list. There were 2 Thanksgiving shifts to cover, there were 5 shifts to cover for Christmas and eve, and 5 more to cover for New Years and eve. Uncovered shifts were covered by agency nurses. I was surprised how many people did sign up for Christmas b/c they wanted all of New Years off. Many of the single/dating nurses wanted all of NYears off. The day off to get ready, the eve to party and the day off to recover.

I worked Thanksgiving 3-11---ate dinner with my family at 1pm, then I also worked Ceve 7-3----which gave me plenty of time to go to Moms house with the family. I also worked 3-11 on New Years---since I don't drink I didn't need the day to recover. Our family had our NY eve together and we had our special dinner at noon to Celebrate.

There are enough shifts for everyone to cover and eveyone has a different agenda for the holidays. Working together helps alot. We never had to send the list back around to cover anything but if we had, it would go back around by seniority. The first list was posted well in advance (Oct) so we all didn't have our plans in place yet or time to think about what we really wanted. No one was clammoring at the posting of the scheduale. We all did it over a couple of weeks. Nobody cried unfair.

The other holidays where treated in the same manner but on a seperate list from the fall/winter ones.

barefootlady, ADN, RN · Oct 19, 2003

Hi Everybody;

Been off the board for over a week, and I had no idea this was still being so hotly debated. As I posted earlier, I hope to be working again by Christmas, I probably will have to work that holiday being the new one on the job. I expect it and will arrange my life as best I can to see the people I want to see and be with. I agree that having children does not give anyone a "special" status for the holidays. I hope to work with people who will be flexible and open for trades of shifts when I do need a favor. I have been burned a couple of times doing this, so I will be careful who I make deals with. When my kids were growing up we often switched times or dates to accomandate my work schedule. It never seems to have a negative effect, they were just glad when we could celebrate together and share some happy time with each other. Since I have had so much change in my life this past year, my grandson said to me that he does not want or need anything special for the holiday, just a hug and a kiss. He and his brother and mother plan to spend the day working at a homeless shelter . Now that is special for me. I have other grandchildren who are already making plans on what they will do for the less fortunate around them. Believe me, these kids are not sitting in the lap of plenty. They do know how lucky they are to have a warm home and food and a few toys that other children may not have. I am getting longwinded and I apoligize but again, I want to say that sometimes we just need to realize that sharing a holiday with family can be done in many different ways and at different times. It's the love that counts.

I will end this in wishing each and every one of you who have posted here a happy holiday season and blessings in the new year.

EastCoast · Oct 19, 2003

Originally posted by barefootlady
Since I have had so much change in my life this past year, my grandson said to me that he does not want or need anything special for the holiday, just a hug and a kiss. He and his brother and mother plan to spend the day working at a homeless shelter . Now that is special for me. I have other grandchildren who are already making plans on what they will do for the less fortunate around them. Believe me, these kids are not sitting in the lap of plenty. They do know how lucky they are to have a warm home and food and a few toys that other children may not have.

It's the love that counts.
.

Summation: Good parenting.

barefoot,

It sounds like you have a wonderful family. :)

barefootlady, ADN, RN · Oct 20, 2003

Thank you so much Eastcoast. Yes, they are special kids and I am very proud of each and every one of them.

fcallicoat · Oct 20, 2003

My mother was a nurse. I remember her being on call, working holidays, etc. In some ways it has made me a more flexable person. In this day and age maybe that is something we need to teach our kids. My girl-friends ex husband is across the country and her 4 year old will have to wait to celebrate holidays with him. (believe me that makes that little girl a whole lot sadder than Christmas a day early or late) My step-son's mother isn't the most reasonable person at times (especially about holidays) and tends to forget about the fact that my husband and I our my step-son's family as well. So we have started new traditions.

My mother passed away three years ago. During the holiday season, she was very young. As much as I see from day to day as a nurse, her death is what made me relize that we must treat each moment with the ones we love as precious, holiday or not. Every time we are with the people we love it is cause for celebration.

fcallicoat · Oct 20, 2003

p.s. When you do have to go to work on that holiday, remember the people we are caring for and working with are away from the ones they love and family traditions. Smile, wish them a happy holiday and celebrate life with them too.

joyflnoyz, LPN · Oct 20, 2003

From Agent, I believe

"How would you suggest explaining to the REAL little children why they don't have presents to unwrap on Christmas morning that Santa left during the night while they were asleep? Or did he not leave any for them because they had to celebrate "Christmas morning" the day before or the day after? "

REAL little children are too young to know, unless the parent is continually griping and moaning about the situation. Kids 3 and up can handle simple explanations, and they have a great empathy for others. They WILL understand that mama has to care for some sick persons, even if the child doesn't "Like it".

I am the mother of 4 children, currently ages 21,20, 16, 11.

they have spent plenty of holidays around mom's work schedule,

and totally adapted. They don't CARE what day it is on the calender, they live for the joy. PARENTS are the ones who screw up the joy, with their attitudes. God really does't care one way or the other about what calender day; it's how you live your life and treat others, what you teach your kids. You knew when you accepted th job holidays and weekends were required, you got no business *****ing about haveing to work them. KIDS OR NO KIDS

I remember a Christmas eve a couple of years ago.. I was a CNA 0645-1915 was supopsed to the be the shift. Patient went sour, at about 1800..doc came in. I stayed late cuz the nurses were helping out the doc (I was answering lights, being a gofer whatever I could do to help out both shifts. Got out of work about 2030, walked to the van only to find a wreath attached to the grill, battery operated lights strung, and when I started the car, Manheim Steamroller Christmas tape. I just started bawling, both with sadness for the family of my patient, and with joy and thankfullness for my husband and son who had driven 30 miles one way to decorate my car cuz I had to work.

I drove home, the kids were so excited about my coming home, and what dad and Christopher had done. Christmas eve has been the big time at our house, so as they began opening gifts, I promptly fell asleep on the couch! I had to work Christmas day, too. We had "Christmas dinner" on the 26th.

ATTITUDE *is* everything!!!!!!

Just MNSHO

PS: if you homeschool your kids, weekends/holidays are just another "day" LOL

SmilingBluEyes · Oct 20, 2003

nothing like celebrating the birth of a new baby/family on a holiday. so when I DO work these, in a way, I consider it a huge honor. Like anyone, we have to make the best of it in some way or another. I like the above post that reminds us our patients are people to whom holidays may be important. Maybe we all need to remember that just a bit and remember, they are not there by CHOICE on their holiest days. WE are not the center of the universe......sometimes we need to be reminded every now and again. And in so doing, can teach this to our kids.

Quickbeam, BSN, RN · Oct 20, 2003

I've read this entire thread. I think it is a very important issue. The inequities over time off/vacation/scheduling between parents and non-parents was one of the main reasons I left the bedside after 15 years. I took a M-R day shift consulting job.

I am childfree by choice and 20 years married. I worked a range of hospitals and settings. To a one, I was abused by a scheduling system that favored parents. I'd work my share of holidays only to find myself "pencilled in" to cover for someone...anyone...with a child. Again and again. Over a career, I felt I was taken advantage of and abused because I did not have children. If I actually wanted a holiday for myself, I was told I wasn't a team player. I ended up working Christmas 12 years in a row.

For the first few years, I gave and gave and gave. Baby has an earache on Chirstmas eve? OK, I'll come in. Kid broke his arm? Sure, I'll cover. Then I hear that these things weren't real but fake excuses to get the day off. That happens to you one time too many, you are no longer a team player, but a patsy.

I now work in an office, as a nurse consultant. I'll retire from this job. No holidays, no weekends. Clinical nursing lost me because the facilities I worked at couldn't treat employees fairly. My last clinical job cashed me out 6 weeks of vacation because I could never get any approved...."the moms need that time" was what I heard over and over again.

You know what? I'm not your village. I tried to be a good egg but just got used up. I also think that more and more childfrees are starting to get fed up. Hence, I think, the emotion here.

Paleobug · Oct 20, 2003

Quickbeam, I totally agree with you about being taken advantage of because you are childfree. Us childfree people have a life too outside of work that it just so happens that it doesn't revolve around anyone's kids. There is a good book about this problem in the workforce, check out my thread at #150.

SteelTownRN · Oct 20, 2003

When I worked the units full time, most of us worked 7on/7 off. You just worked the holidays that you were scheduled, like it or not. Christmas and Thanksgiving fell on opposite weeks, so no one was over taxed with holidays. You could alwsya swap, if you wanted.

As a single person with no children, I have to admit that I would certianly resent being scheduled to work just to allow people with families to be off. Are there really people out there in the world that think that single people sit around knitting on holidays without anything else to do? Marriage and family should not always be given preference over single lives. Someone earlier said it well.....single people are other people's kids, too.

I hope that there can be a fair way to determine who works holidays and rotate it fairly among the staff. Sorry, but seniority does mean a bit when it comes to holiday schedules. I think as nurses, we need to take a closer look at what we got into when we entered the nursing profession. It is not a 5 day a week job, with 40 hours max.

STG

MishlB · Oct 20, 2003

Our schedule is not set up based on who has kids or not.