Boyfriend wants me to stay away

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Looking for advice. My boyfriend is terrified of getting the Coronavirus and therefore has told me that he doesn’t want to see me until this blows over. I work inpatient, my hospital has covid patients but I am not directly caring for them. I can’t help but be hurt- I tried seeing him and stopping by his house but he’s hesitating. Doesn’t he know this is an incredibly difficult time for me? Is anyone else dealing with this?

Specializes in PCU, cardiology.
2 minutes ago, caliotter3 said:

I certainly hope you never encounter a situation with more at stake than a "boyfriend". To some who have been around for some time, you come across as being shall we say, 'less than' mature, with good judgement.

You don't know me and what I have been through. If you have no insight other than bashing my character and maturity I will kindly invite you to get off my thread, as this is no place for you.

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And you don't know me. This is a public website and you don't dictate who will respond to "your" thread. You are the person who needs to learn how to offer support to others. Your boyfriend needs to read this thread and reevaluate his role in all of this. After all, you keep responding and the more you respond, the clearer picture the rest of us get of you. Carry on, with "your" thread. Go to your boyfriend's house and demand attention from him.

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Specializes in Pediatrics, Pediatric Float, PICU, NICU.
6 minutes ago, LauRN3367 said:

You don't know me and what I have been through. If you have no insight other than bashing my character and maturity I will kindly invite you to get off my thread, as this is no place for you.

That’s not how this works unfortunately. You can’t dictate who is and isn’t on “your” thread. You can choose to ignore it, or maybe do some self reflection and see if there’s anything you can take from what is being said even if you don’t agree with the big picture.

I believe people have brought up age/maturity because you are not coming across as completely reasonable. You’ve stated he is in constant contact with you, calling, texting, FaceTiming, yet that’s not enough when he is following the recommendations of the CDC.

You said you have only been together for around a year, so this may be the first “bump” in the relationship you’ve had. I suggest you communicate with him before painting him the bad guy as it has come across. Does he know that you are expecting more gestures in the forms of materialistic things like flowers or gifts? If he doesn’t, it’s not fair to hold that against him. I think you guys would benefit from a really good talk about want and expectations going forward so that you’re either both on the same page OR you realize you aren’t and you part ways.

ETA: Food for thought, YOUR actions and not respecting his choice might have him questioning himself whether you guys are right. I have a feeling “his” thread about you being the unreasonable girlfriend would be getting far more support than yours is. Again, self reflection is never a bad thing.

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Specializes in PeriOp, ICU, PICU, NICU.
11 minutes ago, LauRN3367 said:

You don't know me and what I have been through. If you have no insight other than bashing my character and maturity I will kindly invite you to get off my thread, as this is no place for you.

We scoped you out since your first post. I put my money any day on someone that joined in 2002 than yesterday (like yourself). You have so much to learn and one of those is things is to accept ALL feedback!

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Specializes in PCU, cardiology.

Let me break it down, because this seems to be confusing to some...

I drive to his house. I sit in my car. He stands 6 feet away. We talk. I leave. No touching. No CDC guideline against this. I do not live anywhere that there is currently a lockdown or shelter in place. He refuses this because I am a nurse. This upsets me. I look to other nurses to see if their significant others are acting similar.

Yet, somewhere in all of this I become disrespectful and unreasonable, and it is insinuated that I have never experienced hardship. Interesting.

I very much appreciate most of the responses I have received that have been thoughtful and not coming for my character.

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Thread has been reported numerous times by several members.

OP and Members, please stop with the back and forth and making it personal. This never ends well.

Please just discuss what the OP stated at the end of the 1st post:

"Doesn’t he know this is an incredibly difficult time for me? Is anyone else dealing with this?"

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Specializes in PCU, cardiology.
1 minute ago, AN Admin Team said:

Thread has been reported numerous times by several members.

OP and Members, please stop with the back and forth and making it personal. This never ends well.

Please just discuss what the OP stated at the end of the 1st post:

"Doesn’t he know this is an incredibly difficult time for me? Is anyone else dealing with this?"

Thank you Admin.

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Specializes in Cardiac Telemetry, ICU.
1 minute ago, LauRN3367 said:

Let me break it down, because this seems to be confusing to some...

I drive to his house. I sit in my car. He stands 6 feet away. We talk. I leave. No touching. No CDC guideline against this. I do not live anywhere that there is currently a lockdown or shelter in place. He refuses this because I am a nurse. This upsets me. I look to other nurses to see if their significant others are acting similar.

Yet, somewhere in all of this I become disrespectful and unreasonable, and it is insinuated that I have never experienced hardship. Interesting.

I very much appreciate most of the responses I have received that have been thoughtful and not coming for my character.

Many of the replies you've received have been nothing more than character bashing. I'm sorry they've been like that.

I read some more of your posts and honestly girl, just throw the whole boyfriend away. And for what it's worth, I have yet to hear of someone else's husband/fiance/boyfriend treating them this way.

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Specializes in Pediatrics, Pediatric Float, PICU, NICU.
6 minutes ago, LauRN3367 said:

Thank you Admin.

Does he know it’s an incredibly difficult time for you? Have you directly communicated this to him and what you want and need during this time? Only you can answer that.

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Specializes in PCU, cardiology.
6 minutes ago, Serhilda said:

Many of the replies you've received have been nothing more than character bashing. I'm sorry they've been like that.

I read some more of your posts and honestly girl, just throw the whole boyfriend away. And for what it's worth, I have yet to hear of someone else's husband/fiance/boyfriend treating them this way.

Thank you Serhilda. ? I hope you stay safe. Love to see a fellow cardiac junkie.

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Specializes in Critical Care, ICU, Rehab.

The first thing I did when I was exposed to COVID at the hospital was call my husband and consult on whether I should come home, or stay away from the house by getting a hotel room for the foreseeable future. Coming home means I would knowingly expose my husband and our children to this virus, also anyone else he comes in contact with because he is considered essential at his job. He wanted me home. Had he agreed that a hotel and keeping my distance from our home was in the best interest of our family, I would have done just that. I wouldn't have felt unsupported, unloved, or felt shunned from him or any of this other BS that's being prattled about. This is what real relationships look like. You make sacrifices, and if that sacrifice is having to physically be near someone for their own well being and safety, so be it.

That all said, as some have told you, this will likely be a reoccurring theme in your relationship. What happens when you tell him about the patient with bed bugs? or scabies? Those are quite popular in the hospital setting. You will come across them. That and a hundred other potentially communicable diseases and illnesses. You need to have a discussion with your boyfriend on how this affects the future of your relationship. It's not just COVID you will be exposed to (and yes, you have been exposed, caring for the patients with it or not), there will be other things you will be exposed to and you need to know from him if he can handle that.

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Specializes in NICU/Mother-Baby/Peds/Mgmt.
17 hours ago, LauRN3367 said:

Correct, the gesture aspect of this is what will get us through if we cannot have physical touch- who knows how long the social distancing will go on for. Going to have to get creative. Thank you TriciaJ.

I respect him not wanting to spend time with me, hanging out inside, watching a movie, eating together, having a drink etc... didn't know that asking to drive by and see him while maintaining social distance would get so many people on this post fired up---jeesh.

I think you need to go back and edit your OP to say you're not looking for close contact, and you'd be fine with seeing him from 6 feet away while you're both in your cars etc. People don't read all the comments so they think you're looking to see him and touch him like you usually do, so that may be why people are getting "fired up". I've noticed this happens on many posts...

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