Boyfriend wants me to stay away

Nurses COVID

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Looking for advice. My boyfriend is terrified of getting the Coronavirus and therefore has told me that he doesn’t want to see me until this blows over. I work inpatient, my hospital has covid patients but I am not directly caring for them. I can’t help but be hurt- I tried seeing him and stopping by his house but he’s hesitating. Doesn’t he know this is an incredibly difficult time for me? Is anyone else dealing with this?

Specializes in MICU/CCU, SD, home health, neo, travel.

I understand him wanting the social distancing, however if he is not showing supportiveness in other ways it may be time to re-evaluate your relationship. Is he still calling, e-mailing? sending flowers, or doing little thoughtful things, or is he distancing, period?? Look at that and then ask yourself if the relationship is worth continuing.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, NICU.

I'm going against the grain here and say that he isn't worth a long-term relationship. I have been with my boyfriend for almost four years and we live together. He has been nothing but supportive.

It seems as though this guy isn't the type to be there through thick and thin. Cut him loose. You deserve better.

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Specializes in Pediatrics, Pediatric Float, PICU, NICU.

Out of curiosity @LauRN3367, how long have you two been together?

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Specializes in Cardiac Telemetry, ICU.

Would he have this same attitude if you were married? Would he stand by you "in sickness and in health?" He has yet to take those vows, but if marriage is in the back of your mind with this guy, I don't see his stance changing. Personally, I wouldn't care to wait and find out.

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Specializes in Emergency Department.
7 hours ago, LauRN3367 said:

The sass is uncalled for. Why does he have to touch the car???? Wrong of you to assume. Social distancing includes staying 6 feet away from someone. Which is perfectly acceptable in my situation.

And that is where you come over as a teenager, what "sass?" I gave an answer to your question, if you don't like it that's too bad but not my problem.

6 hours ago, LauRN3367 said:

This is a relationship that matters to me and I respect myself enough to know what I deserve at the same time. It is not first world problems to be figuring out who I want to spend the rest of my life with, and determining if I believe that person is supportive of me or not. I do respect his decision, however I feel that he is being over the top not even letting me see him in person while following social distancing etiquette.

What you think you deserve is unimportant. What about his elderly family, or his elderly neighbours all who are at higher risk than you?

Have you been paying attention to what is happening in the world? As I write this the UK has just been put on lockdown - now I don't deserve that but I am stuck with it and I will get on with it as best I can. You should hope that if enough people behave like your boyfriend then perhaps the US won't need to go down that route, although I doubt it.

So yes, carry on and have your little strop because your boyfriend is afraid to catch the virus but try looking at his point of view - which at no point that I can see have you done.

Oh and you still have not talked about Skype, Face-time or phoning.

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18 minutes ago, GrumpyRN said:

So yes, carry on and have your little strop because your boyfriend is afraid to catch the virus but try looking at his point of view - which at no point that I can see have you done.

Oh and you still have not talked about Skype, Face-time or phoning.

I mentioned Facetime and Skype too. Also no response. Surely you have a reason why these and the phone are not acceptable? Just wondering what I am missing here.

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Specializes in PCU, cardiology.
9 hours ago, GrumpyRN said:

Right, because the virus doesn't survive on the door handles or other surfaces. :no:

(The new coronavirus can survive on hard surfaces such as plastic and stainless steel for up to 72 hours and on cardboard for up to 24 hours.)

This sass^^ where you decided to patronize me while I was looking for looking for advice from a group of nurses who would understand my situation. And below, more sass "have you been paying attention to what is happening in the world?"

10 minutes ago, GrumpyRN said:

And that is where you come over as a teenager, what "sass?" I gave an answer to your question, if you don't like it that's too bad but not my problem.

What you think you deserve is unimportant. What about his elderly family, or his elderly neighbours all who are at higher risk than you?

Have you been paying attention to what is happening in the world? As I write this the UK has just been put on lockdown - now I don't deserve that but I am stuck with it and I will get on with it as best I can. You should hope that if enough people behave like your boyfriend then perhaps the US won't need to go down that route, although I doubt it.

So yes, carry on and have your little strop because your boyfriend is afraid to catch the virus but try looking at his point of view - which at no point that I can see have you done.

Oh and you still have not talked about Skype, Face-time or phoning.

Thank you for believing that my relationship not important. I didn't know that sitting in my car seeing his face from 6 feet away was putting his elderly neighbors and family at risk. I must be a horrible NP. I sure hope you are not leaving your house for anything- groceries, gas, mail, supplies, etc as you have laid out the kind of distress you would be placing others in! We do talk on the phone, I think it is rather romantic to see each other in the flesh, regardless of how far away we are. You are kindly invited to stop following this thread, as you are the exact type of person I care not to interact with.

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Specializes in PCU, cardiology.
2 minutes ago, caliotter3 said:

I mentioned Facetime and Skype too. Also no response. Surely you have a reason why these and the phone are not acceptable? Just wondering what I am missing here.

I am a millennial, obviously we are FaceTiming...wondering what I am missing here thinking that FaceTiming and seeing each other in person (again, while following social distancing etiquette) is the same thing? Sure, these can help ease the pain of not seeing each other, but to me they are not the same.

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Specializes in PCU, cardiology.
52 minutes ago, Serhilda said:

Would he have this same attitude if you were married? Would he stand by you "in sickness and in health?" He has yet to take those vows, but if marriage is in the back of your mind with this guy, I don't see his stance changing. Personally, I wouldn't care to wait and find out.

Exactly. His terror of getting sick + potentially marrying a nurse = mixed bag. Thank you for your reply Serhilda. Be well.

3 hours ago, JadedCPN said:

Out of curiosity @LauRN3367, how long have you two been together?

Hi JadedCPN, We have been together for just over a year!

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Specializes in PCU, cardiology.
3 hours ago, ThePrincessBride said:

I'm going against the grain here and say that he isn't worth a long-term relationship. I have been with my boyfriend for almost four years and we live together. He has been nothing but supportive.

It seems as though this guy isn't the type to be there through thick and thin. Cut him loose. You deserve better.

Thank you ThePrincessBride. It seems like you have similar expectations of your men that I do. I am happy you found someone who supports you, even when times are hard. Be well.

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Specializes in PCU, cardiology.
4 hours ago, CeciBean said:

I understand him wanting the social distancing, however if he is not showing supportiveness in other ways it may be time to re-evaluate your relationship. Is he still calling, e-mailing? sending flowers, or doing little thoughtful things, or is he distancing, period?? Look at that and then ask yourself if the relationship is worth continuing.

I also completely understand the want of social distancing, just the extent of it seems a bit much here. We still communicate texting, phone calls, FaceTime, I don't think he has distanced himself. I trust him very much to give it to me straight.

But none of the thoughtful gestures. And I am not that type of girlfriend to need these things or ask for them, but they certainly would be nice at a time like this.

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I certainly hope you never encounter a situation with more at stake than a "boyfriend". To some who have been around for some time, you come across as being shall we say, 'less than' mature, with good judgement.

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