I am transgendered, and though I have chosen to live my life as the sex I was born (male) as, an argument I had with my aunt tonight has me wondering about some things. She does not think that I should consider getting into the nursing field because the job would "be too intimate and personal" and "I know I wouldn't want a transgendered person taking care of me". I tried to tell her that one's sexual orientation or identified gender have NO BEARING WHATSOEVER on how good a nurse that person may or may not be.
I do agree that a person that obviously looks like a male but is wearing makeup, or that is "flaming", is going to cause some problems with some patients, but in general, no one has "I am really a male" on their name tag. Keeping in mind that I knew nothing about transgenderism back in 1997, I was a CNA back then and when I mentioned that to her she said "well, I didn't think it was an appropriate job for you back then". Grrrr......
What have your experiences been with this sort of thing? Have you noticed transgendered healthcare staff being treated differently be co-workers, management, patients or their family? Has being transgendered caused issues in getting hired? Have you ever had to deal with family that were generally negative about anything you ever said or did?
Thanks for all the great comments, and I mean ALL of them. Hugs and kisses to all of you! No, let me one up that one. May the Lord bless you all as much as he has blessed me.
About half-way through the thread I began to feel that I may have deceived people here. What you all do not know is that I am separated from my wife and son (my wife ran off with our 2 1/2 year old boy on December 4th 2008 and I haven't seen them since), and I have stopped transitioning from male-to-female (the day she left) because of not having my son in my life.
I want to do what is best for my son, and right now the BIG ISSUE (it will be in the courtroom) is whether me stopping transitioning is really healthy for me and my son in the end. Make of this what you will. :wink2: To those in tune with the world we transgenders live in, and the way we experience the world, some of what I have said in my original post is wide open for debate. But such a debate would run completely away from the intent of this thread. That's really all I can say about that, as I will likely have a divorce case pending very soon.
All of what you guys and gals have said is true. Whether one transitions or not, one's gender and his or her comfort level with it all will play some role in the level of care that he or she provides as a nurse to patients.
Believe it or not, I live in the state of Kentucky. This is not a hotbed for transgenders, believe me. If you say 'trans' around here people think you're talking about fixing cars and trucks. I have known some transgenders here, but they are either are completely transitioned or are very good at performing in gay clubs. I just have not met any -- wait, I met one at a former employer -- that lie somewhere in between. I know of one nurse (she worked with my wife) who transitioned from male-to-female. She knew me from the gay club. :chuckle
I really appreciate all the support from you all, too. Not only am I TG and bisexual, but I am hearing impaired (bi-lateral hearing loss moderately-severe to severe) and have an anti-social personality disorder. The disorder is nothing major as it pertains to others, but it does affect my ability to create and maintain relationships. One very interesting thing to note, though, is that when I was presenting as 'Kristy', I was anything BUT anti-social.
Anyway, I will shut up. My wife, being a nurse, could very well be on this site, so........
Courts are not as closed minded on this as they once were. Years ago, people who were homosexual or transgendered were put on the same level as pediphiles or seen as those who would "turn" their children or "recruit" them into a "lifestyle".
We all know, all of it is a myth, and a load of hogwash.
What I would recommend, if I was in your difficult situation, is to find out what the "culture" of the courts are in your area area. I know that some folks feel more comfortable usually going with an attorney that is "like minded"...however, you need to know the truth about what may happen when you file to see your son again.
People don't "choose" to feel that they are trapped in the wrong gender..it just happens.
You're going to be a NURSE. The title does not include Mr. or Miss. in front of RN. Just be the best nurse that you can and this will prove other poeple wrong.
I worked briefly with a nurse who began their nursing career as a female, took a leave of absence and returned as a male to the same floor. I'm sure their was gossip at the time of his return, but by the time I got there, it wasn't an issue.
I think it would be naive of you to think that one can enter any profession as an openly transgendered individual and not get some reaction but nursing would probably be an easier transition I would think.
i have cared for dozens of tg's at the end of their lives, and ea and everyone of them were either thrilled w/the choices they made, or regretted not completing their destinies.
never met anyone that was ok with living as both a man and woman.
i certainly can understand you sacrificing becoming who you want to be, in order to remain a dad to your son...
I think it would depend on how your transgenderedness manifests itself in the workplace. It very are very, very, very obviously a man and dress in uniform dresses and makeup if might cause issues with coworkers and patients. But that would be more about professionalism. We had a possible transgendered PCA working here, a lesbian who acted in a masculine way but it didn't cause too many problems. Outside of having her hair cut VERY short, she dressed in unisex scrubs and no one payed much attention. But then I am in a large, cosmopolitan area.
I just a simple country bumpkin, and have never met a transgendered person (that I'm aware of). In fact, I don't even have a full understanding of what it means.
I have been around a lot of homosexual men (working for state prisons), and have had several openly gay friends, but just never came across anyone that called themselves transgendered.
Would you be willing to explain the difference between transgendered and homosexual?
Does anyone else feel with some of the OP's over-the-top posts that we are all getting punked??
Nope, don't think we are getting punked, but op sounds very much like all 4 of my TG friends who found it neccessary to go forward and sacrifice a lot along the way other than her statement that she is willing to live as a man for her son. I hope she is willing to continue forward in an androgenous manner. I don't believe she has to express herself as ultra glam fem to live as a woman part of the time and decrease the amount of crap she gets from the courts, etc. I, like several other born females I work with, generally dress very androgenously at work. Some are more feminine in appearance than others. Most save the makeup for a night out!
Those born females who attempt to glam it up at work don't look too glamorous coming out of PPE after wiping poo for an hour, LOL! I am really glad at that time that I don't wear makeup to work. My hair is short, but anyone can just put theirs in a pony tail if it is long and not make much of a scene as we have loads of straight guys who wear long hair. My gay coworkers are much more updated in style, lol! A tranny wearing long hair doesn't even have to be any big deal, just pull it back in a ponytail sister, put on some moisturizer and you are good to go!
As for the courts in Ky. Well when I visited neighboring Ky this summer, it is culturally about 20 years behind Chattanooga. So my guess is the courts there are not going to be very friendly. By all means do find a gay or lesbian attorny or at least gay friendly or someone from ACLU and find out honestly what the waters are like. There maybe someone with some TG experience but it will probably be limited. I say this only because, once you loose contact with your child, you have given up more than either you or he should have to give up, but please know what you are doing.
Homosexual - someone whose sexuality is oriented to those of the same sex
Transgendered - someone whose gender identity is at odds with their body's gender (eg physically male, psychologically female) and/or the gender role assigned to them by the society in which they live
Gender identity is unrelated to sexual orientation
BabyLady, BSN, RN
2,300 Posts
Courts are not as closed minded on this as they once were. Years ago, people who were homosexual or transgendered were put on the same level as pediphiles or seen as those who would "turn" their children or "recruit" them into a "lifestyle".
We all know, all of it is a myth, and a load of hogwash.
What I would recommend, if I was in your difficult situation, is to find out what the "culture" of the courts are in your area area. I know that some folks feel more comfortable usually going with an attorney that is "like minded"...however, you need to know the truth about what may happen when you file to see your son again.
People don't "choose" to feel that they are trapped in the wrong gender..it just happens.