I am transgendered, and though I have chosen to live my life as the sex I was born (male) as, an argument I had with my aunt tonight has me wondering about some things. She does not think that I should consider getting into the nursing field because the job would "be too intimate and personal" and "I know I wouldn't want a transgendered person taking care of me". I tried to tell her that one's sexual orientation or identified gender have NO BEARING WHATSOEVER on how good a nurse that person may or may not be.
I do agree that a person that obviously looks like a male but is wearing makeup, or that is "flaming", is going to cause some problems with some patients, but in general, no one has "I am really a male" on their name tag. Keeping in mind that I knew nothing about transgenderism back in 1997, I was a CNA back then and when I mentioned that to her she said "well, I didn't think it was an appropriate job for you back then". Grrrr......
What have your experiences been with this sort of thing? Have you noticed transgendered healthcare staff being treated differently be co-workers, management, patients or their family? Has being transgendered caused issues in getting hired? Have you ever had to deal with family that were generally negative about anything you ever said or did?
The "end result", when it comes to transitioning from one gender to another, is not judged by the looks and functionality of the new genitalia, but the appearances of the person as a whole and how that person has adjusted to society in his or her new gender role. How fast or how soon you have Sexual Reassignment Surgery (SRS) will have little to no impact on your ability to live life happily thereafter in your new gender role. Certainly, your new 'equipment' will affect you sex life and maybe even how you feel about yourself in terms of appearance, but that's the extent of SRS, really.
For those who might say that, and we're getting far away from the intentions of the OP (moi!!!! LOL), it would be selfish for me to live my life as my desired gender, ever consider how selfish it would be to my son for me to NOT be abel to give him all the love that I am capable of giving him, simply because I chose to live a life that would be less disruptive to him? Have you considered that my son might one day feel deceived that the 'daddy' he saw didn't really exist, that all of the happiness he enjoyed with me was part of some pretend act? There are many ways of looking at this, and I have been warned more than once by attorneys that should my marriage wind up in divorce (I hope that it does not, because I don't want to lose my wife) and in family court the question of:
Will transitioning really be healthy for my son in the long run if it isn't necessarily healthy for me?
will be brought up. That's a very difficult question to answer, and one where an honest answer (again, I can go either way with this) could give me less custody of my son than I am hoping for. Which brings up another issue. I may, MAY move to Massachusetts (instead of Florida) since the laws in that state are rather supportive of the GLBT community in general. I have heard that GLBT support in Florida is really good, but family law there is quite another matter.
As for the rest of those in this thread, I feel a lot better knowing that I have a lot of great qualities to bring to the nursing profession, being transgendered just one of them
Noting the time the original message was posted, 0300, it sounds like you may have been toiling over this a bit.
Transgender nurses are well liked! Well, at least this transgendered nurse is. I'm transitioning on the job m2f, and have received overwhelming support from my coworkers and even patients. I work on a very large and fast cardiology floor in Austin, TX. Being the only hospital in central Texas that performs heart transplants, our patients come from any small or large town in central Texas. As a nurse one of my primary goals is to educate patients on their disease process. Being a transgendered nurse, my duty is to serve as a role model for transgender individuals of all professions.
I have been transitioning since September thus far:
-no one has refused me as a nurse
-My patients have been wonderful, even the potentially brutal ones call me mam
-I recieve complements from my patient's
-Perhaps, for a little while my patients forget about their disease and feel a sence of humanity.
Noting the time the original message was posted, 0300, it sounds like you may have been toiling over this a bit.
Transgender nurses are well liked! Well, at least this transgendered nurse is. I'm transitioning on the job m2f, and have received overwhelming support from my coworkers and even patients. I work on a very large and fast cardiology floor in Austin, TX. Being the only hospital in central Texas that performs heart transplants, our patients come from any small or large town in central Texas. As a nurse one of my primary goals is to educate patients on their disease process. Being a transgendered nurse, my duty is to serve as a role model for transgender individuals of all professions.
I have been transitioning since September thus far:
-no one has refused me as a nurse
-My patients have been wonderful, even the potentially brutal ones call me mam
-I recieve complements from my patient's
-Perhaps, for a little while my patients forget about their disease and feel a sence of humanity.
It's off to work I go!
Nicole
Nicole, Sounds like you were an experienced, established RN on your unit before you started transitioning. With all the issues a new nurse has to deal with, I fear that OP's experience would be very different than yours as she is just looking at becoming a nurse. Also a big part of her issues involve possibility of divorce and child custody in Ky. no less!
I am really glad that your transitioning experiences are positive. I have lost two TG friends and I feel their untimely deaths were indirectly or maybe even directly related to their transitioning process. It seems that those who are in a position to make more positive "negotiations" fair better in transitioning. I don't know a heck of a lot about it, but probably more than most non-TG folk.
This is an issue which societal changes are very slow in coming.
Personally for me, being a gay nurse is somewhat therapeutic for me. I love working with children for instance. The fact that I may not have children of my own (though I want to) helps me fulfill that need that I think everyone has gay or straight. Okay well, maybe not everyone likes kids, but for me it's how I look at it. So being a glbt person gives us a leg up I think when we care for our patients because we can give the care and empathy and ear to someone who is in a vulnerable position that in on some level we have been in our entire lives.
If you think about it, most pt. are in the hospital because there is something "wrong" with them, they don't necessarily understand why it's happening to them and it's causing them a lot of discomfort. It's good that nurses are able to alleviate that and in a lot of ways it can be therapeutic for the nurse as well (really gay or straight, but I think you can appreciate what I'm saying). We help pts. cope and by contributing to something positive to the world we ourselves can cope with our perceived "short commings". I'm proud to be gay, but I am uncomorotable with the fact that other people still consider me to be "evil". Being a nurse, for me at least, helps me appreciate that we are all human.
If it wasn't my love for this field I think I would be very very misanthropic. So if your are transgender and a nurse I say to you: GODO FOR YOU!!!! You are the type of role model glbt youth need. They need people like you and I to know that they don't have to be a certain way or fit into a certain lifestyle just because they are different. Never let anyone take that away from you. You are a good person and are to be admired for your courage.
There are orificeholes everywhere, not just in the toilet.
You will meet staff and pts who dont' like you. You will meet staff and pts who don't like you because you're trans gendered. You will meet some who like you. And some who are indifferent. And some who are just glad there's another nurse on shift.
If someone doesn't like you because of your trans genderedness that's their problem, not yours!
Why just the other day a pt refused to have me care for him and I'm just a normal straight female. It wasnt' because of anything I've done in my care of him or that I upset him, it was just that he was a total bastard. Hahah, the funny thing was he ended up with a nurse who he hated way more then whatever issue he had with me.
He was a grumpy old man. YOu will meet many of them, and many of nice pts.
The point I'd like to make is that although all seems well on the outside, I am still far more critical of myself than anyone else. I expect to walk into a new patient's room and be refused, harassed, abused, it's just not happening.
The same goes for out in public. I understand that people are curious and I accept getting looks, and occasionally pointed out; it's a curious thing. There are days when I don't want to be looked at, days when I feel fat or ugly. Some days no one seems to notice me. All in all, people that have commented have good things to say to me and I try to take all the stares as well-wishes.
I was in massage therapy school in September 2001, I was put on academic probation for being transgendered (not getting into the saga). Long story short, I found an advocate that had recently written and passed a law that prevented job discrimination of transgendered individuals. She supported me and explained the process of being transgendered what to expect and how the schools behavior could be viewed as discriminatory. There are struggles during transition, but there are people in the transgender community and beyond available to help you.
My coworkers knew there was something a little different about me when I started working with them as a new nurse a year prior to my transition. Being married helped quel the questions at the time.
While I stopped the first transition in 2002, I'm very deliberate this time around, and I have seen much better results.
I have been living in Florida for just over a week, and I HATE it here. I'm enjoying spending with my brother, his wife and their daughter, but the people of Florida seem 'cold' to me. They're not rude by any stretch of the imagination, but you can see the icicles hanging from the eyelids. I was given the impression by my brother and his family that I could come down here and just be myself, but when I got here they seemed to do a 180-degree turn. Now it's constantly "so, you're not doing this or that out of respect for....", so I feel like I have to watch my every move and every word I say, and dress so that I do not offend anyone. Massachusetts has been calling my heart (I lived there for nearly 4 years, that's where my wife is from) and I believe that it has made me more sensitive to the cold stares and general lack of warmth that is the culture here. So, now I am planning my move to Massachusetts where I KNOW that I will be accepted, and where I will more than likely be closer to my son even if my wife refuses to let me see him. It is going on three months now that I have not seen my son, and I miss him terribly
So, now I am planning my move to Massachusetts where I KNOW that I will be accepted, and where I will more than likely be closer to my son even if my wife refuses to let me see him. It is going on three months now that I have not seen my son, and I miss him terribly
i live in boston and know you will be accepted.
of course i am biased, and constantly brag about its diversity.
need to warn you though, that nsg jobs are difficult to come by...
esp for new grads.
i truly pray your life takes a positive turn and you are reunited w/your son.
I have been living in Florida for just over a week, and I HATE it here. I'm enjoying spending with my brother, his wife and their daughter, but the people of Florida seem 'cold' to me. They're not rude by any stretch of the imagination, but you can see the icicles hanging from the eyelids. I was given the impression by my brother and his family that I could come down here and just be myself, but when I got here they seemed to do a 180-degree turn. Now it's constantly "so, you're not doing this or that out of respect for....", so I feel like I have to watch my every move and every word I say, and dress so that I do not offend anyone. Massachusetts has been calling my heart (I lived there for nearly 4 years, that's where my wife is from) and I believe that it has made me more sensitive to the cold stares and general lack of warmth that is the culture here. So, now I am planning my move to Massachusetts where I KNOW that I will be accepted, and where I will more than likely be closer to my son even if my wife refuses to let me see him. It is going on three months now that I have not seen my son, and I miss him terribly
just out of curiousity, what area of Florida are you in?
i lived on the south atlantic coast near palm beach for most of my adult years and found the people there to be incredibly friendly and open minded. go even farther south to ft. lauderdale/south beach and there is even more diversity. i grew up in CT and although CT an awesome place to live and i love new england, i did find south florida more diverse and not so cookie-cutter.
i am sorry you aren't liking FL and i hope things start looking up for you soon. :heartbeat
I am in DeBary, a tourist town about 30-40 minutes west of Daytona Beach. Really, I don't know why I don't like the people here, except for that they are cold-natured (every other transplant I've talked to agrees with me). And, truthfully, I enjoy the four seasons (especially fall and winter!) and you just don't get that here. One difference in the culture between here and, say Kentucky for example, is that parents here treat their children like dirt. They scream at their children or are very short-tempered with them. People here seem to be very focused on short-leashing everyone. In Kentucky people seem more civil and compassionate toward one another. I have YET to have anyone wave at me as I pass them by in my truck (whether they are walking or driving). In Kentucky and in Massachusetts people always seemed friendly in that way. So, I don't think it's entirely due to my location in Florida. Now, if I can just find my way to Boston and somehow get on my feet!
of course i am biased, and constantly brag about its diversity.
need to warn you though, that nsg jobs are difficult to come by...
esp for new grads.
i truly pray your life takes a positive turn and you are reunited w/your son.
fenway park, here i come!!
leslie
And, should I be fortunate enough to get on my feet and eventually start taking classes toward a nursing degree, I could always move elsewhere to start my nursing career. Right now I just want > so that I can become independent and have my son back in my life. Everything else will seem like a piece of cake.
As a person who just doesn't believe in being transgendered (I know that's not the right way to word that, I apologize) due to my personal religious beliefs, I also recognize that not everyone shares my personal religious beliefs, and frankly, as long as I'm receiving good care from a nurse, a physician, or any other member of the healthcare team, I could care less whether they are a man, a woman, or anything in between.
tmwhalens
24 Posts
The "end result", when it comes to transitioning from one gender to another, is not judged by the looks and functionality of the new genitalia, but the appearances of the person as a whole and how that person has adjusted to society in his or her new gender role. How fast or how soon you have Sexual Reassignment Surgery (SRS) will have little to no impact on your ability to live life happily thereafter in your new gender role. Certainly, your new 'equipment' will affect you sex life and maybe even how you feel about yourself in terms of appearance, but that's the extent of SRS, really.
For those who might say that, and we're getting far away from the intentions of the OP (moi!!!! LOL), it would be selfish for me to live my life as my desired gender, ever consider how selfish it would be to my son for me to NOT be abel to give him all the love that I am capable of giving him, simply because I chose to live a life that would be less disruptive to him? Have you considered that my son might one day feel deceived that the 'daddy' he saw didn't really exist, that all of the happiness he enjoyed with me was part of some pretend act? There are many ways of looking at this, and I have been warned more than once by attorneys that should my marriage wind up in divorce (I hope that it does not, because I don't want to lose my wife) and in family court the question of:
Will transitioning really be healthy for my son in the long run if it isn't necessarily healthy for me?
will be brought up. That's a very difficult question to answer, and one where an honest answer (again, I can go either way with this) could give me less custody of my son than I am hoping for. Which brings up another issue. I may, MAY move to Massachusetts (instead of Florida) since the laws in that state are rather supportive of the GLBT community in general. I have heard that GLBT support in Florida is really good, but family law there is quite another matter.
As for the rest of those in this thread, I feel a lot better knowing that I have a lot of great qualities to bring to the nursing profession, being transgendered just one of them