Seishiro

So my best friend since high school, Meg (not real name) who I've pretty much considered my sister, my soul mate, my twin star, my equal, etc. etc. (I'm gay so this is all on the platonic level) has pretty much decided to end our friendship because according to her ever since I started LPN school I've become "obnoxious". I mean, despite the fact that I work full time, go to school 3 days a week from 0830 till 1530 and then clinicals thursday and friday, my mom might have lung cancer and my sister might have breast cancer, my father is in remission for prostate cancer and also has skin, copd and leukemia her attitude is, is that when I need her shoulder to cry on and then when I leave a voice mail to have her call me and she doesn't get back to me for a couple days and then I say, "Thanks for the help, I really appreciate" I can understand that i was being a little catty, but why is it that everytime I have a crisis or something bad happens to me at class I'm just being a whinney little punk... but the minute she needs something or has a bad day I'm ALWAYS there for her to listen to me. I've made some REALLY bad mistakes in my past and I'm just now starting to turn my life around and Meg was ALWAYS there for me through it all and was my only friend for the most part who stuck with me. She knows everything about my and my family and we are so close that when I'm sick, usually she's sick. (I live in NJ and she lives in OH btw.) Ever since she moved out there and made new friends and has a bf I've just felt us slowly drift further and further apart. It hurts me so bad and now it seems that my life is getting better a part of me thinks that she kinda liked it when I was down on my like... almost like it made her feel better about herself and her situation. Shes going to school to become a holocaust lit teacher and wants to teach at the college level and don't get me wrong she is an intelligent well adjust person, despite having SEVERE anxiety issues (we couldn't find a parking spot for a good 30min at a train station once and she almost had a nervous break down... no lie and I'm not exaggerating). I have my own issues with social anxiety as well which makes it really difficult for me to get on with my classmates which is why it was so important for me to have her to fall back on... All of a sudden she just seems to have gotten over me. I just feel like I'm not important to her anymore and everytime I mention something that happened in my life good or bad she seems like she couldnt' care less. When she called me obnoxious and said I've been that way ever since I started nursing school it really hurt that she was harboring these negative feelings for so long without talking to me about them when I openly discused how I felt we were drifting apart... which she said I was I trying to make her out to be a bad person because I said that she could be condescending sometimes and she doesn't realize how hurtful her comments can be sometimes. She blew it way out of porportion. I was just trying to open up to her and i tried to be as positive as I could be saying how great a friend she has been to me and how she is the one i trust the most and all of that. I got fed up with everything and said I wasn't going to talk to her until she apologized for what she said to me. And I haven't heard from her since. It's kinda hard to imagine that a long friendship such as ours is over just because of a disagreement. She said before this that is she felt like she needed to apologize for something she did wrong she would have no problem doing so. I'm just so frustrated. Maybe I am wrong, maybe I'm just being too sensitive... but I can't help how she makes me feel so insignificant and uncapable and stupid. I didn't think I was being obnoxious when I was breaking down to her when I knew she would probably be the only one that would listen. I just don't understand how this great friendship has turned her so cold towards me. What did I do wrong? Now I'm in nursing school with a bunch of people I hardly talk to, my social anxiety is through the ROOF, I'm feeling like crap and I don't have any friends really and being lonely and starving for affection doesn't really help either. I have no prospects of meeting a bf in the area I live in and even if I did I doubt anyone would be interested in me because guys can be so shallow. I'm happy with the way I look and even though I'm a little chubby it doens't bother me because I know I want to meet someone that likes me for me. I'm usualy a happy person and I'm not really "depressed" depressed per se. It's just that I've been under so much stress lately that I'm having difficulty coping. I would be a lot better of if I just had someone to talk to. I dunno... I guess I'm just venting. I'm just at a loss for ideas.

No help at all guys?

Personally for me, being a gay nurse is somewhat therapeutic for me. I love working with children for instance. The fact that I may not have children of my own (though I want to) helps me fulfill that need that I think everyone has gay or straight. Okay well, maybe not everyone likes kids, but for me it's how I look at it. So being a glbt person gives us a leg up I think when we care for our patients because we can give the care and empathy and ear to someone who is in a vulnerable position that in on some level we have been in our entire lives. If you think about it, most pt. are in the hospital because there is something "wrong" with them, they don't necessarily understand why it's happening to them and it's causing them a lot of discomfort. It's good that nurses are able to alleviate that and in a lot of ways it can be therapeutic for the nurse as well (really gay or straight, but I think you can appreciate what I'm saying). We help pts. cope and by contributing to something positive to the world we ourselves can cope with our perceived "short commings". I'm proud to be gay, but I am uncomorotable with the fact that other people still consider me to be "evil". Being a nurse, for me at least, helps me appreciate that we are all human. If it wasn't my love for this field I think I would be very very misanthropic. So if your are transgender and a nurse I say to you: GODO FOR YOU!!!! You are the type of role model glbt youth need. They need people like you and I to know that they don't have to be a certain way or fit into a certain lifestyle just because they are different. Never let anyone take that away from you. You are a good person and are to be admired for your courage.

I'll be graduating in July from an LPN program in Burlington county. I currently work for the state and it is possible for me to transfer within the state as an LPN. I want to go to school in Camden in the fall to start my ASN. I'll be traveling quite a bit since I live pretty much in the boonies. Can anyone give me advice as if I should stay with the state and continue to build my pension with pay at around 35-45k (I think. There used to be a flier on NJs website, but I can't find it at this moment). You have to figure in the costs of AFSCME union dues, pension dues, health insurane and everything else... I dunno... My other ideas were working for a Mt. Holly Center (Virtua Rehab), or some other LTC facility. I hear Evergreens is pretty good but again I'm not sure and it's all heresay. I know I should do my own research, but I figured I'd check here first and see if anyone had some opinions/biases. I'm not really sure what I want to specialize in yet as an RN so I'm lost... It's getting closer and closer to July and my anxiety is up for any number of reasons. Well... anxiety isn't really the word... I don't think a word exists for the level of blah I'm feeling. PS: I'll be going to school full-time in the fall.... So I would REALLY REALLY prefer to work 12 (or even 16) hours shifts. I already go to work now from 1130pm to 8am and am in school from 830 till 3pm so... I can handle the hours. I want as much time to concentrate on school as I can. Right now working full time five days a week is tough, but I'm still managing a high B average.

o m g ...

I live in NJ. I know Kessler have a lot of LPNs but they are one the hospitals that went bankrupt and are rumored to be closing anytime. This makes me sad because when I do my clinical rotations there, the LPNs are SO nice and helpful. It's like a big family there. I'll be sad to see them go. But there are a lot of hospitals in my area who don't want LPNs. Virtua I know is not hiring LPNs, only in the rehab centers. I currently work in LTC in another undisclosed location and they are offering me a job when I get my LPN... but I want something a little more... exciting?

I asked a similar question in my class and my teachers said something that made sense. They told me, usually if a pt. needs the type of care where you are involved with their privates, they are usually more thankful that the care was given than worrying themselves with any possible sexual misunderstandings.

Who else thinks this is a way for encouraging those with a LPN license to go on and pursue their RN? Personally I'm just going for my LPN to get my feet wet and make my transition into RN school more smooth. I'm not knocking LPNs, I think they are as valuable as any other part of a health care team and it makes me sad as a future LPN that I wont have an opportunity to work in a hospital setting.

Well.... That's a weird question. I work 11p to 8a but then I have classes monday-friday 830a to 3p for my LPN. The only good thing is, is that I'm off on monday and tuesday nights so on those days I sleep like a normal human, but on the days that I work I usauly crash when I get home from school and study at work. On the weekends I crash at around 9a and wake up sometime in the afternoon (I try to at least). Short-Version: I sleep whenever I'm not awake.

I think I can understand that. I still find it strange though, but I guess it's what comes along with being a nurse. Perhaps it's not the personality you're taking care of, but the person. Of course there is that reducing of anxiety and self-image and all those other nurse diagnoses I can't think of off the top of my head... but when it comes down to it, even though holistic healing includes every aspect of the person... it's to bring them back to a state of well-being. The fact that they may or may not be a source of my scorn is irrelevant.

I was having a conversation with a classmate of mine about Schizoid Personality Disorder which she has. (dxed and txed) Now, I understand the disorder to be someone who is pretty much a "loner" not because they don't know how to interact socially, but just choose not to. She says that she really doesn't feel much emotion for people or really care to have friends or even relationships. She said that she can't tolerate most people and feels that the world needs to "grow up". She also talked about touchy subjects like "population control" and putting massive doses of Chlorine in the Gene Pool and how she really can't stand how weak and pathetic most humans are. It was interesting though because as we were talking about, the way she came across didn't present itself as being "angry" but almost as if she couldn't really care less about anyone or anything. I understand that some of the things she said were meant to be humor, but almost in a way to say, "ishkabibble". We didn't get into an argument, but I did ask her if she had such misanthropic views about the world and other people (which she also mentioned), why did she want to be a nurse. We talked about it for a while but she couldn't even come up with a good reason. She said it baffled herself at times too, but despite all those negative feelings she just has an inherent drive to take care of people even though she generally doesn't like most people. I'm confused. Can someone help me wrap my head around this? Perhaps someone could better explain what being a Schizoid really is, I don't think I understand it correctly and perhaps why you think she would want to be a nurse even though she really can't tolerate "stupid" people as she calls them. To me she is a walking paradox. And what's even more confusing to me is that I really really think that she is going to be an AWESOME nurse. I can see that just from watching her in clinicals. She is very professional and does her job well and helps others when they need help w/o even asking. She KNOWS her stuff to a T and has even impressed our instructors on a number of ocassions (who happen to be Nurse Ratchcet I and II imho)... the only thing is she is almost TOO professional and cold. I joked with her that she would make a good doctor haha, she just gave me a look like she was going to eat my soul so I just shut up and continued with my butt wiping.

Sorry for being off topic... but is that an opossum?

It's as difficult as you make it. Some situations require a LOT of analytical thinking while other situations need a healthy dose of KISS (maybe sometimes even the SWAG method)... but then again I'm only an LPN student and don't speak from experience.

"Because I said so! That's why!"

Yeah, and does anyone have break rooms where they have hanging lamps, the type with the stained glass dome types above the tables? I've hit my head so many times on them now it doesn't even phase me anymore.