tmwhalens

And, should I be fortunate enough to get on my feet and eventually start taking classes toward a nursing degree, I could always move elsewhere to start my nursing career. Right now I just want > so that I can become independent and have my son back in my life. Everything else will seem like a piece of cake.

I am in DeBary, a tourist town about 30-40 minutes west of Daytona Beach. Really, I don't know why I don't like the people here, except for that they are cold-natured (every other transplant I've talked to agrees with me). And, truthfully, I enjoy the four seasons (especially fall and winter!) and you just don't get that here. One difference in the culture between here and, say Kentucky for example, is that parents here treat their children like dirt. They scream at their children or are very short-tempered with them. People here seem to be very focused on short-leashing everyone. In Kentucky people seem more civil and compassionate toward one another. I have YET to have anyone wave at me as I pass them by in my truck (whether they are walking or driving). In Kentucky and in Massachusetts people always seemed friendly in that way. So, I don't think it's entirely due to my location in Florida. Now, if I can just find my way to Boston and somehow get on my feet!

I have been living in Florida for just over a week, and I HATE it here. I'm enjoying spending with my brother, his wife and their daughter, but the people of Florida seem 'cold' to me. They're not rude by any stretch of the imagination, but you can see the icicles hanging from the eyelids. I was given the impression by my brother and his family that I could come down here and just be myself, but when I got here they seemed to do a 180-degree turn. Now it's constantly "so, you're not doing this or that out of respect for....", so I feel like I have to watch my every move and every word I say, and dress so that I do not offend anyone. Massachusetts has been calling my heart (I lived there for nearly 4 years, that's where my wife is from) and I believe that it has made me more sensitive to the cold stares and general lack of warmth that is the culture here. So, now I am planning my move to Massachusetts where I KNOW that I will be accepted, and where I will more than likely be closer to my son even if my wife refuses to let me see him. It is going on three months now that I have not seen my son, and I miss him terribly

Thanks A LOT for giving me the heads up. I tried to tell my brother that I would likely be charged out-of-state tuition rates, but he wouldn't listen :) I guess I'll just get the CNA license, since it's the best step to take IMO (probably required, too) and work for a year as a CNA. Kristie

I am wondering which colleges/universities offer the best nursing programs. At the moment I'm not even a CNA, but I'm one of those types that likes to be a step or two ahead. My sister-in-law is going to Daytona Beach Community College, and she's a smart woman, so I think she picked a good program to attend. Are there other good nursing programs in that area (DeBary, DeLand, Volusia County)??? Also, I am wondering how nurses go about getting certifications? Are they college courses you take, seminars you go to, CEU's? I really can see myself as a jack-of-all-trades type of nurse (hope that didn't sound dumb) with lots of certifications.

The "end result", when it comes to transitioning from one gender to another, is not judged by the looks and functionality of the new genitalia, but the appearances of the person as a whole and how that person has adjusted to society in his or her new gender role. How fast or how soon you have Sexual Reassignment Surgery (SRS) will have little to no impact on your ability to live life happily thereafter in your new gender role. Certainly, your new 'equipment' will affect you sex life and maybe even how you feel about yourself in terms of appearance, but that's the extent of SRS, really. For those who might say that, and we're getting far away from the intentions of the OP (moi!!!! LOL), it would be selfish for me to live my life as my desired gender, ever consider how selfish it would be to my son for me to NOT be abel to give him all the love that I am capable of giving him, simply because I chose to live a life that would be less disruptive to him? Have you considered that my son might one day feel deceived that the 'daddy' he saw didn't really exist, that all of the happiness he enjoyed with me was part of some pretend act? There are many ways of looking at this, and I have been warned more than once by attorneys that should my marriage wind up in divorce (I hope that it does not, because I don't want to lose my wife) and in family court the question of: Will transitioning really be healthy for my son in the long run if it isn't necessarily healthy for me? will be brought up. That's a very difficult question to answer, and one where an honest answer (again, I can go either way with this) could give me less custody of my son than I am hoping for. Which brings up another issue. I may, MAY move to Massachusetts (instead of Florida) since the laws in that state are rather supportive of the GLBT community in general. I have heard that GLBT support in Florida is really good, but family law there is quite another matter. As for the rest of those in this thread, I feel a lot better knowing that I have a lot of great qualities to bring to the nursing profession, being transgendered just one of them

Heeyyyyy (waves hand). I wearing hearing aides in both ears. I have been to college before (AS Computer & Information Technology), so I am quite familiar with the whole "advisor" deal. I know what needs to be done in order to apply for the nursing program. Get my CNA license and CPR certification, then take the pre-requisites for the nursing program. That's about it, unless there is something I'm missing here? I would probably...maybe...not sure...need a notetaker. You know, it appears that I am going to be on my own in terms of finding an electronic stethoscope. The last time I talked to the disabilities department and the nursing department they seemed to have no clue about those types of equipment. It was almost like "a HOH nurse? I've never heard of that!".

I resent the 'djc' person thinking that I was 'punking' people here. Actually, I don't even know what that word means aside from someone with a mohawk, living somewhere in Ireland. I'm pretty sure that wasn't the intention of the word. Anyway... I am a real transgendered person and I speak exactly what is on my mind. If this 'djc' person had paid attention I said more than once in the thread that I needed to be very careful about what I say because I have a divorce case brewing, and it happens to be in a state that isn't very TG-friendly. Stop assuming that every thread that shares personal details and that gets lots of responses, is some sort of 'punk'. I don't feel the 'djc' person deserves any more explanation than that. I read the responses after my last post, and I think I'd like to touch on them. My wife knows that I was very happy 'trying' to present as a woman. My face is androgynous, but leans toward masculinity (because of my nose). If my nose were feminine-looking, my looks would change dramatically. Every single person that has seen my photos online (I won't show them here for the obvious reason) has said that I have a great foundation to work from. No prominent jawlines, rather smooth skin, lips that a woman would die for. Yes, I would have to spend quite a chunk of change to feminize my face, but nowhere near the amount that most do. And I would benefit greatly from those changes. I got side-tracked there, sorry. Back to the question of whether I am truly happy living as a man. I can not give that answer, and it's not because I don't know the answer or that I am afraid that it would cause someone (myself or my wife) a lot of pain. I can not give that answer because it's a damned-if-I-do-damned-if-I-don't situation. There are benefits and drawbacks to living as either sex, and that is what makes me truly transgender. I can say that most of my happiness living as a man would come from being a 'husband' (I'm willing to make that sacrafice) and being a 'father' (again, my son is worth the sacrafice). The big, BIG question right now as far as my wife is concerned is whether she left me because she just didn't love me anymore, in which case sacrificing myself would make a lot less sense, or because it was because she just wanted me to be happy and that by not truly being happy living as a man I could not truly be happy with her. Again, I'm saying this from what I feel would be her perspective. In other words, at this moment I am choosing to NOT further explore "Kristie" out of fear that I might lessen the chances of my wife coming back to me. I hope everyone can understand why I am taking the position that I am. I am going to explore how I might be able to live androgynously, for my own sake. You know, it wasn't like I was wearing min-skirts or dresses or had this big frizzy wig or tons of makeup on. The only stuff I ever wore was panties (of course! hehe), sometimes a bra although it was mostly unnecessary, eyebrow pencilling, mascara, jeans and a tee-shirt. Oh, and a pink/purple jacket I bought at Wal-Mart. I really not wear anything that screamed "feminine!!!!". If my wife left, it likely had more to do with her fear of where all of this was heading.

I hope that one day people will begin to see that living as a man or as a woman (or both?) is not a "lifestyle". It's just you-being-you. The same goes for one's sexual orientation. Being straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian or any of the other 1.5 million sexual orientation types is not a matter of lifestyle. It is what a person is in terms of their attraction toward other human beings (or animals, plants, etc. lol). A "lifestyle" would be, for lack of a better example, one going to a bar each week and picking up a different man or woman to hit the sack with. A lifestyle is something you choose, your sexual orientation and the gender you identify with is not a choice.

I am bowing out of the discussion. It is becoming too personal, and perhaps even inflammatory in nature. By the way, I have not "had the operation" and this thread was not intended to talk about such things. I just wanted to know how being transgender affects one's job prospects as a nurse, and the ability to keep employment.

Back last summer I was diagnosed as having an anti-social personality disorder, an anxiety disorder and a mild form of a paranoi disorder. Of course, I know that how we present ourselves on the day of a psychological evaluation has everything to do with our diagnosis. I was having a really bad day on the day of the appointment, I did not handle the situation of having an upset stomach and an unexpectedly long testing time (4 hours) very well. If I could do it all over again I'm sure my diagnosis would have been much different. If I had to go in more time after that, though, they'd probably say I had a split personality disorder. :-)

I do think there is a real connection between my being anti-social when I am in 'guy' mode (though people still like me, it's just that I don't like them as much, lol) and feeling much more 'in the moment' when I am presenting as Kristie. Around the month of April, unless my wife and I are living together again (or there is a real TRUSTWORTHY agreement in place stating when we will be back together), I will file for divorce. Kentucky has a track record in the familycourt system of denying custody soley on the basis of one being transgender or anything but heteorosexual. Family court, I can imagine, WILL (unless they are aware of what exactly transgenderism is) say something like "you must agree to not transition or at least not present as Kristie when you are around your son". I am completely torn between the happiness (make no mistake, I am capable of finding happiness as a male, too) that being Kristie brings me, and the fact that I want to be "Dad" to my son. Being "Dad" conjures up images of looking like a guy, sounding like a guy.

I am HOH, and have been since birth. My biological mother (I am adopted) was HOH, and because of that she did not hear a train coming as she was driving across the tracks. She was taken off life support two weeks later. My left ear is worse (severe) than my right one (moderately-severe). I should have pursued a career in nursing many years ago, but did not because of my handicap. I have reached a point in my life --- actually, I met the Lord in prayer about a month ago --- where I am tired of letting my handicap stop me from reaching my dreams. I know that I have the intelligence to do well in the classes and on the state boards, it will just be a matter of self-discipline and making sure that I find accomodations for my hearing loss. Great to meet everyone else here!

bump. I'm now wondering if any here are from Kentucky, and know of any transgendered nurses here.

I just remembered that some here were talking about how gender presentation (and not just your attitude and sense of self-worth) plays a part in how people react to you and whether you will be accepted or not. When I presented as Kristy I really did not wear very feminine clothing. Aside from lingerie I wore mostly tight pants (they looked good on me!), girly sneakers, a purple/pink tie-dye shirt and a bandana (to cover up my hair loss) when I wasn't wear a wig. Normally I only wore the wig when I went to therapy, to the club, or to Wal-Mart really late at night when most shoppers were asleep behind the cart. My face isn't really that masculine, and it's not really feminine, either. It's androgynous, swaying toward masculine. IF I were to have facial surgeries the first feminizing work I would have done is my nose. I have a nose that isn't very feminine. After that I would have work done on my chin and the area above my eyebrows. And mmaaayyybbbeeee cheek implants (in the face, silly!). Other than that, my face is pretty boyish (I'm 36, but people tell me all the time that I look like I'm in my mid 20's). I have full lips to die for! And my body? I'm not very muscular, and I have a somewhat slim figure. I am 5'6" and weigh about 140 lbs. My butt is big for a male.