I am transgendered, and though I have chosen to live my life as the sex I was born (male) as, an argument I had with my aunt tonight has me wondering about some things. She does not think that I should consider getting into the nursing field because the job would "be too intimate and personal" and "I know I wouldn't want a transgendered person taking care of me". I tried to tell her that one's sexual orientation or identified gender have NO BEARING WHATSOEVER on how good a nurse that person may or may not be.
I do agree that a person that obviously looks like a male but is wearing makeup, or that is "flaming", is going to cause some problems with some patients, but in general, no one has "I am really a male" on their name tag. Keeping in mind that I knew nothing about transgenderism back in 1997, I was a CNA back then and when I mentioned that to her she said "well, I didn't think it was an appropriate job for you back then". Grrrr......
What have your experiences been with this sort of thing? Have you noticed transgendered healthcare staff being treated differently be co-workers, management, patients or their family? Has being transgendered caused issues in getting hired? Have you ever had to deal with family that were generally negative about anything you ever said or did?
I just remembered that some here were talking about how gender presentation (and not just your attitude and sense of self-worth) plays a part in how people react to you and whether you will be accepted or not. When I presented as Kristy I really did not wear very feminine clothing. Aside from lingerie I wore mostly tight pants (they looked good on me!), girly sneakers, a purple/pink tie-dye shirt and a bandana (to cover up my hair loss) when I wasn't wear a wig. Normally I only wore the wig when I went to therapy, to the club, or to Wal-Mart really late at night when most shoppers were asleep behind the cart. My face isn't really that masculine, and it's not really feminine, either. It's androgynous, swaying toward masculine. IF I were to have facial surgeries the first feminizing work I would have done is my nose. I have a nose that isn't very feminine. After that I would have work done on my chin and the area above my eyebrows. And mmaaayyybbbeeee cheek implants (in the face, silly!). Other than that, my face is pretty boyish (I'm 36, but people tell me all the time that I look like I'm in my mid 20's). I have full lips to die for! And my body? I'm not very muscular, and I have a somewhat slim figure. I am 5'6" and weigh about 140 lbs. My butt is big for a male.
Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
I have not worked with a transgendered nurse (that I know of). I worked with gay nurses who seemed to have been respected by their peers, superiors and patients, and then, there were others that were not-but I believe that these are personality issues that have nothing to do with being gay or transgendered. These were (like anyone else) people with issues of their own.
There was a thread initiated here by a transgendered nursing student a few weeks ago that pulled my heartstrings because he was told by his school that he would not be accepted if he fully transitioned while being a student.
To me, a nurse is a nurse. I'd take anyone that is willing to care for myself or family members in need.
Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
Thanks for all the great comments, and I mean ALL of them. Hugs and kisses to all of you! No, let me one up that one. May the Lord bless you all as much as he has blessed me.
About half-way through the thread I began to feel that I may have deceived people here. What you all do not know is that I am separated from my wife and son (my wife ran off with our 2 1/2 year old boy on December 4th 2008 and I haven't seen them since), and I have stopped transitioning from male-to-female (the day she left) because of not having my son in my life.
I want to do what is best for my son, and right now the BIG ISSUE (it will be in the courtroom) is whether me stopping transitioning is really healthy for me and my son in the end. Make of this what you will. :wink2: To those in tune with the world we transgenders live in, and the way we experience the world, some of what I have said in my original post is wide open for debate. But such a debate would run completely away from the intent of this thread. That's really all I can say about that, as I will likely have a divorce case pending very soon.
All of what you guys and gals have said is true. Whether one transitions or not, one's gender and his or her comfort level with it all will play some role in the level of care that he or she provides as a nurse to patients.
Believe it or not, I live in the state of Kentucky. This is not a hotbed for transgenders, believe me. If you say 'trans' around here people think you're talking about fixing cars and trucks. I have known some transgenders here, but they are either are completely transitioned or are very good at performing in gay clubs. I just have not met any -- wait, I met one at a former employer -- that lie somewhere in between. I know of one nurse (she worked with my wife) who transitioned from male-to-female. She knew me from the gay club. :chuckle
I really appreciate all the support from you all, too. Not only am I TG and bisexual, but I am hearing impaired (bi-lateral hearing loss moderately-severe to severe) and have an anti-social personality disorder. The disorder is nothing major as it pertains to others, but it does affect my ability to create and maintain relationships. One very interesting thing to note, though, is that when I was presenting as 'Kristy', I was anything BUT anti-social.
Anyway, I will shut up. My wife, being a nurse, could very well be on this site, so........
Do you think that the anti-social disorder may be related to frustration of not being who you really are? You mentioned that when you presented as Kristy, that you were not anti-social, so this is why I ask. Is this an issue with family court-that if you transition, you can no longer have a relationship with your child? If this is the case, then, I can see how this can be a challenge to you. Good luck.
Do you think that the anti-social disorder may be related to frustration of not being who you really are? You mentioned that when you presented as Kristy, that you were not anti-social, so this is why I ask. Is this an issue with family court-that if you transition, you can no longer have a relationship with your child? If this is the case, then, I can see how this can be a challenge to you. Good luck.
I do think there is a real connection between my being anti-social when I am in 'guy' mode (though people still like me, it's just that I don't like them as much, lol) and feeling much more 'in the moment' when I am presenting as Kristie. Around the month of April, unless my wife and I are living together again (or there is a real TRUSTWORTHY agreement in place stating when we will be back together), I will file for divorce. Kentucky has a track record in the familycourt system of denying custody soley on the basis of one being transgender or anything but heteorosexual.
Family court, I can imagine, WILL (unless they are aware of what exactly transgenderism is) say something like "you must agree to not transition or at least not present as Kristie when you are around your son". I am completely torn between the happiness (make no mistake, I am capable of finding happiness as a male, too) that being Kristie brings me, and the fact that I want to be "Dad" to my son. Being "Dad" conjures up images of looking like a guy, sounding like a guy.
Hmmm do you go tell everyone your business,that is that you have had operation...I mean how one can tell???
I am bowing out of the discussion. It is becoming too personal, and perhaps even inflammatory in nature. By the way, I have not "had the operation" and this thread was not intended to talk about such things. I just wanted to know how being transgender affects one's job prospects as a nurse, and the ability to keep employment.
I am bowing out of the discussion. It is becoming too personal, and perhaps even inflammatory in nature. By the way, I have not "had the operation" and this thread was not intended to talk about such things. I just wanted to know how being transgender affects one's job prospects as a nurse, and the ability to keep employment.
Ooops I just realized that I skipped a part of your thread in which you mention about deciding to live as man...
Ok,let me asnwer you as honestly as I can,and it is not mean to be offensive,so I hope you wont take it that way.
People are afraid of "different"This characteristic is a part of our nature and we cant it,control it,fight it however
we can change it...If I was about to meet you at first(honesty),I probably would be a little thrown back by your "choosen" lifestyle,but I guarantee you that once I would get to know you on a more deeper level (friends) I would treat you the same as anybody else..
I hope that one day people will begin to see that living as a man or as a woman (or both?) is not a "lifestyle". It's just you-being-you. The same goes for one's sexual orientation. Being straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian or any of the other 1.5 million sexual orientation types is not a matter of lifestyle. It is what a person is in terms of their attraction toward other human beings (or animals, plants, etc. lol). A "lifestyle" would be, for lack of a better example, one going to a bar each week and picking up a different man or woman to hit the sack with. A lifestyle is something you choose, your sexual orientation and the gender you identify with is not a choice.
I hope that one day people will begin to see that living as a man or as a woman (or both?) is not a "lifestyle". It's just you-being-you. The same goes for one's sexual orientation. Being straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian or any of the other 1.5 million sexual orientation types is not a matter of lifestyle. It is what a person is in terms of their attraction toward other human beings (or animals, plants, etc. lol). A "lifestyle" would be, for lack of a better example, one going to a bar each week and picking up a different man or woman to hit the sack with. A lifestyle is something you choose, your sexual orientation and the gender you identify with is not a choice.
Ok you are correct,I take back my wording "chosen lifestyle",you are just being you....and also I think that human nature is too complex to understand it...
I feel we are born with the ability to feel however we feel, and are on a continum from extreme heterosexuality to extreme homosexuality. Many people, possibly most fall some where at the top of the bell curve. Those are the people who are fortunate enough to be able to choose the way they will interact emotionally and sexually. So I do think that many people have a choice and believe whole heartedly that it is up to the individual to choose the expression or expressions that is right for them. Along with that comes the responsibility to accept the consequences of ones choices and the tasks of dealing with them. The world is not just. I think in some places and ways it is getting better but their are a lot of rough spots left.
So I do think that many people have a choice and believe whole heartedly that it is up to the individual to choose the expression or expressions that is right for them. Along with that comes the responsibility to accept the consequences of ones choices and the tasks of dealing with them. The world is not just. I think in some places and ways it is getting better but their are a lot of rough spots left.
tmwhalens
24 Posts
I just remembered that some here were talking about how gender presentation (and not just your attitude and sense of self-worth) plays a part in how people react to you and whether you will be accepted or not. When I presented as Kristy I really did not wear very feminine clothing. Aside from lingerie I wore mostly tight pants (they looked good on me!), girly sneakers, a purple/pink tie-dye shirt and a bandana (to cover up my hair loss) when I wasn't wear a wig. Normally I only wore the wig when I went to therapy, to the club, or to Wal-Mart really late at night when most shoppers were asleep behind the cart.
My face isn't really that masculine, and it's not really feminine, either. It's androgynous, swaying toward masculine. IF I were to have facial surgeries the first feminizing work I would have done is my nose. I have a nose that isn't very feminine. After that I would have work done on my chin and the area above my eyebrows. And mmaaayyybbbeeee cheek implants (in the face, silly!). Other than that, my face is pretty boyish (I'm 36, but people tell me all the time that I look like I'm in my mid 20's). I have full lips to die for! 
And my body? I'm not very muscular, and I have a somewhat slim figure. I am 5'6" and weigh about 140 lbs. My butt is big for a male.