Are married women bullied less at work?

Nurses Relations

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Are women who are married less likely to be bullied than a single woman with no kids??

Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.
Yes, it was a repeated occurrence. I know when I'm being bullied and I don't need people telling me any different. Stop gas lighting

Again, NO ONE is gas lighting you.

You started a post, giving out snippets of information, and you, by your choice have given the information, based on your fashion, have not gotten the response your wanted; personally, you may be Gaslighting US with the additional information as well as your projection of throwing the term around...but I won't make that assumption. :no:

But in retrospect, this post is about whether or not martial status is a factor in being bullied, and to be honest, NO, it doesn't.

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Specializes in critical care.
Again, NO ONE is has lighting you.

You started a post, giving out snippets of information, and you, by your choice have given the information, based on your fashion, have not gotten the response your wanted; personally, you may be Gaslighting with the additional information...but I won't make that assumption. :no:

But in retrospect, this post is about whether or not martial status is a factor in being bullied, and to be honest, NO, it doesn't.

Martial status! Can we have an interlude? Perhaps that would be gas lighting the conversation? (Is that the right usage of that word?)

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Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.

Actually, when I was younger and single, I also wondered if my marital status made me more likely to be bullied. My theory was that if I'd had a family to go home to, I'd have more perspective on the whole thing and take less notice of things that happened at work. If I'd had kids to be assertive with, I'd have had more confidence to nail the bad behaviours. So I started reminding myself how old I was, and how long I'd been a nurse. I started being more judicious of whose behaviour I even bothered taking seriously. I don't know if it worked, or if I just got older, but it takes an awful lot for anything to register on my emotional radar anymore.

Hope that helps answer the OP's original question. This thread has digressed somewhat.

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A crusty old bat is a knowledgable person who doesn't sugar coat what they are saying. They offer support when a situation warrants it. They aren't afraid to respond to a person with the truth, as opposed to telling a person what they want to hear just to make them feel better. Maybe they screw up in the delivery, but again, this is not bullying. This is a person choosing to not add smileys and "sweeties", while they aim to prevent bigger problems in the future that come from being nice over being honest.

Who says a crusty old bat is a knowledgable person? I've worked with plenty of nurses who are not particularly knowledgeable despite long years in the game. As for not "sugar coating", too many use this as an opportunity to unleash on someone younger and/or less experienced but instead of pointing it out reasonabley, does a number on the person and makes out they are a bad nurse and therefore a despicable human being.

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No, marital status or kids don't make you less of a target. I'm married with two kids and was bullied (yes, actual bullying; the sole target of the individual, progressively worse actions/comments, physically sick about the thought of going to work, all reported by myself and other staff with no assistance from the manager so I quit) by a divorced MA who's 35 years older than I am. My current manager is single with no kids, no desire to get married or have kids, and while she has never bullied me, I don't think she understands when my family commitments overshadow my work sometimes. I feel guilty calling out for a sick kid, or if my husband calls me for something at work. In my interview, she even asked if I'd be reliable having two kids now instead of just one since it's twice as likely to have a sick child. (I'm a rehire, I left when I had my baby and came back a year later).

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Specializes in Pedi.
Yes, it was a repeated occurrence. I know when I'm being bullied and I don't need people telling me any different. Stop gas lighting

You previously accused all of us of bullying you because we told you it's not an expectation that your professors spoon feed you Power Point slides and study guides. What you have described thus far on this thread is not bullying. Just because someone says something you don't like doesn't make it bullying.

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Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia.
You previously accused all of us of bullying you because we told you it's not an expectation that your professors spoon feed you Power Point slides and study guides. What you have described thus far on this thread is not bullying. Just because someone says something you don't like doesn't make it bullying.

'Like' was not enough. thanks!

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No, marital status or kids don't make you less of a target. I'm married with two kids and was bullied (yes, actual bullying; the sole target of the individual, progressively worse actions/comments, physically sick about the thought of going to work, all reported by myself and other staff with no assistance from the manager so I quit) by a divorced MA who's 35 years older than I am. My current manager is single with no kids, no desire to get married or have kids, and while she has never bullied me, I don't think she understands when my family commitments overshadow my work sometimes. I feel guilty calling out for a sick kid, or if my husband calls me for something at work. In my interview, she even asked if I'd be reliable having two kids now instead of just one since it's twice as likely to have a sick child. (I'm a rehire, I left when I had my baby and came back a year later).

Would you understand if a single woman has "single commitments" and wants to hang out in a bar on Saturday night?

As to the OP,i do not know if i feel "bullied" but i know what you mean with snide remarks and comments. i get them all the time.

The WORST is when other nurses "THINK" i am looking for a date and try to hook me up with some bum in their family.

Now,i do think single nurses with kids have it the WORST with bullying.

They get the best of "both" worlds.

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
I love that quote.

I never heard it before I came to AN.

It's inspiring. It strengthens. I could most definitely see myself adopting it as my mantra.

Unfortunately, it's just not true.

It is essentially. If someone is bothering you....telling you you are no good....and you laugh and walk away never giving them the satisfaction versus letting them get under your skin and feeding on your own self doubts that you allow to seep in then you feel bad because you let them make you feel bad.

Versus Laughing and walking away saying..."Whatever"...as go on your Merry way.

Words are not hurtful in and of themselves...it is what we feel that puts power into them. Otherwise they are just words.

I think we control how we allow ourselves to be treated (in a general sense).

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
Yes, it was a repeated occurrence. I know when I'm being bullied and I don't need people telling me any different. Stop gas lighting
"Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted" Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
Maybe bullying in the sense of management asking you to work extra shifts...somehow if you're married and have kids your free time is worth more than mine because I'm single.
When I was a supervisor (and a manager) I called everyone. I did not discriminate. The staffing office did not discriminate.... I/we started at A and ended at Z. I/we would make these calls at 6PM, 10pm, 5am for a 12 hrs night shift.

When you are staffing a 320 bed facility that is a TON of phone calls. I have called people on the beach in Florida on vacation. I have accidentally called people in the hospital...damn cell phones. I have had husbands scream at me on the phone and say some EXTREMELY unpleasant and derogatory names. Some of them were quite foul and derogatory.

Here is the deal.

Everyone feels they are being picked on...Everyone feels they are being called because they are single, married, gay, catholic, not catholic, childless, several children...poor, wealthy, new home, no new home....but the simple truth is....SOMEONE needs to cover YOUR co-workers sick call or no show.... someone MUST stay or work short...take it up with them.

I have reminded certain nurses (the ones who scream at me about being called to work) that the reason they are working short and have to file an unsafe staffing report with the union is because just like "you" everyone has refused to come in on their personal time. Karma.

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The Princess Bride came out about 30 years ago. :)

Funsucker.

I have probably seen 1/2 dozen movies in my life, there are some of us with better things to do with our time. what is " funsucker" frankly sounds obscene to me....

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