About to leave nursing school

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Hi.

I'm about to quit nursing school. It's my 2nd semester of an ADN program. I had a 4.0 on my pre-reqs, and I worked so hard first semester and got a B+. I felt so much anxiety toward the end of the semester, and when we started clinicals, I kept getting that nagging feeling of "this isn't for me." The stress and anxiety I was facing was incrfedible, and I am crying and not sleeping at night. I went with nursing because I wanted a career that was both lucrative and meaningful, but I wasn't prepared for the amount of stress and liability involved in patient care. Is it stupid to say, "this isn't what I thought it would be?"

Now i'm totally freaked out. I'm 45 years old, and I feel so sad and disappointed because I just don't want to be a nurse. I really thought that I had a direction. I stayed home with my children for 16 years (the youngest is 10), and now I feel like I haven't got anything to show for it professionally. Other women my age who stayed working while raising kids now have established careers.

I feel like a loser, and someone who doesn't even know her own mind. A real mid-life crisis, I'm afraid. My husband is not happy with my decision to leave. He was counting on the salary I would make as an RN, although I truly wonder how many facilities are hiring RNs without a BSN.

I'm looking into a COTA program at my school. I think it may afford me the ability to establish more of a relationship with patients (in nursing it seems that there is such a rush to move on to the next thing that you barely have time to relate to the patients) in a less stressful environment. Of course the pay isn't as good, but I don't think I could stand that high level of stress over, "Did I miss something, did I forget something, did I make a mistake?"

What do you all think? I guess I'm looking for validation of my decision, because I just keep going round and round and confusing myself.

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Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.

Everyone struggles with that sense of being overwhelmed, stressed and worried. They say that makes the best nurses and the ones who are not aware of the gravity of their responsibilities are the dangerous ones. However, only you can know how much stress is too much. It sounds though more like you are running from something you are afraid of more than leaving because you dislike nursing. Again, only you can know if that is true. Best of luck in your future endeavors, whichever way you go.

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I could have written your post this morning. I am even the same age, got the same grades!

But I actually liked the first quarter, now I am in the second and am completely miserable. It is Med Surg, the clinical teacher is demanding and unhelpful. I am doubting everything right now and have no idea how to proceed.

Hang in there, I'm right there with you. :)

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Everyone struggles with that sense of being overwhelmed, stressed and worried. They say that makes the best nurses and the ones who are not aware of the gravity of their responsibilities are the dangerous ones. However, only you can know how much stress is too much. It sounds though more like you are running from something you are afraid of more than leaving because you dislike nursing. Again, only you can know if that is true. Best of luck in your future endeavors, whichever way you go.

This is great advice, and for me, you hit it right on the head. I would be running from something I am afraid of!!! I am afraid of this!!!

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Before you close any doors you can't re-open, consider that nursing school is not the same as a nursing job. School is a pressure cooker with all kinds of pitfalls and weird stuff thrown at you. Personality conflicts abound. There may be artificial hoops to jump through and bizarro expectations that have little to do with actual nursing. Lots of people who hated school have gone on to love nursing.

Still, if you have no desire to stick with it, you have to do something.

I do want to take issue with one thing that you said, though:

I stayed home with my children for 16 years (the youngest is 10), and now I feel like I haven't got anything to show for it professionally. Other women my age who stayed working while raising kids now have established careers.
You invested time in growing your kids. There is nothing bad about that. Nothing. Too many young people have gotten themselves in heaps of trouble because they didn't have enough parental attention and supervision. Families have fallen apart because parents were pulled in too many directions.

Some of us can "have it all." Just not all at the same time.

Look back over your stay-at-home years to find real-life skills that can transfer to a future job (whether in nursing or something else). Volunteer work, organizations you belonged to, fund-raising, anything that requires commitment, talent, time management, special knowledge or training, etc.

We so often sell ourselves short by saying we were "just" stay-at-home-moms when that's one of the toughest jobs there is.

I hope you can find a sense of direction, wherever it takes you.

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Another thing that is keeping me going is that I don't have to work on a med surg floor if that is not my thing! There are many ways you can take this degree other than direct patient care. In fact, last week I had a surgery observation and absolutely loved it. I can see myself doing that.

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Specializes in Labor and Delivery.

I just want tp write first how sorry I am for what you're going through. Whatever decision you make it is hard. I also wanted to say you should be proud you stayed at home and raised your kids, and as for not having anything to show you do, your kids. That is more work then almost any job I know of. If nursing isn't for you then there's no shame in quitting or switching majors, it's mature and respondisble to know enough to say that. But... This is only my experience but sometimes hwne things for me are very tough I have a way of convincing myself that well maybe I never wanted this and so on..It then gives me a easy out to quit instead of stay and risk failing. Just my :twocents: whatever you do I wish you the very very best!

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Here is my humble opinion.............. if you are ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE that you hate it and will always hate it, then go ahead and leave. That being said, NO ONE ENJOYS NSG SCHHOL! The stress was unbearable and overwhelming. I graduated just a bit ago, also at 45. The things they make you do, for the most part, have no connection with real life. I ended up as a school nurse, and I love it. Good pay, benefits etc. So just give that some thought before you burn that bridge. :)

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I just want to wish you luck in figuring out what you want to do. I am 40 and am currently taking my first nursing course; we don't start clinicals until September. I am so nervous about the idea of possibly getting to clinicals and finding either it is not for me or I can't do it. This is a career change for me. I have children also. I figured they will be grown soon enough and I really want a career that has meaning for me. My previous career was something that was definitely a poor fit for me and I dreaded going to work.

You will find the path that is right for you! :)

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Nursing school SUCKS.

I'm in school. It's just awfullllll.

But I've gotten a lot of positive affirmation from working nurses who love their jobs that they also hated school.

And like another poster said, all the stress and thinking so much about not making mistakes makes great nurses. I urge you to talk to your a good instructor there before you go through with leaving. I had a conversation about this with my adviser and she told told me that I'm too hard on myself in clinical. She also said that she doesn't want it to change too much, because that's a trait of excellent nurses, but that I need to calm down a little bit and not be so hard on myself. And hearing that she could tell I was so hard on myself really helped. I don't know why...

And just so you know, I'm thinking of having children in the next few years. I'm very frightened around children because they're soooooo fragile. You definitely have a lot to contribute with your experience, professionally.

Good luck!

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Please don't leave!

I am 41 and am 4 months from being done, and I can barely tolerate school. My husband is an RN and continually assures me that he hated school, felt overwhelmed and unsure at clinicals, and he loves his job now on a cardiac med-surg floor. I'm hanging in there because I hear that over and over.

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Specializes in School Nursing.

I think there is a huge difference between not wanting to be a nurse, and not wanting to be in nursing school. If you truly are sure you do not want to be a nurse (you do not want to do the work that a nurse does), then I think you are doing the right thing and, in fact, it is very brave of you to take that plunge. If you are just miserable in nursing school, but can picture yourself being happy in nursing, I would say stick it out. If you are not sure, give it another semester, or take some time off and volunteer or shadow a couple nurses in different areas. Good luck!

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