I'm about to quit nursing school. It's my 2nd semester of an ADN program. I had a 4.0 on my pre-reqs, and I worked so hard first semester and got a B+. I felt so much anxiety toward the end of the semester, and when we started clinicals, I kept getting that nagging feeling of "this isn't for me." The stress and anxiety I was facing was incrfedible, and I am crying and not sleeping at night. I went with nursing because I wanted a career that was both lucrative and meaningful, but I wasn't prepared for the amount of stress and liability involved in patient care. Is it stupid to say, "this isn't what I thought it would be?"
Now i'm totally freaked out. I'm 45 years old, and I feel so sad and disappointed because I just don't want to be a nurse. I really thought that I had a direction. I stayed home with my children for 16 years (the youngest is 10), and now I feel like I haven't got anything to show for it professionally. Other women my age who stayed working while raising kids now have established careers.
I feel like a loser, and someone who doesn't even know her own mind. A real mid-life crisis, I'm afraid. My husband is not happy with my decision to leave. He was counting on the salary I would make as an RN, although I truly wonder how many facilities are hiring RNs without a BSN.
I'm looking into a COTA program at my school. I think it may afford me the ability to establish more of a relationship with patients (in nursing it seems that there is such a rush to move on to the next thing that you barely have time to relate to the patients) in a less stressful environment. Of course the pay isn't as good, but I don't think I could stand that high level of stress over, "Did I miss something, did I forget something, did I make a mistake?"
What do you all think? I guess I'm looking for validation of my decision, because I just keep going round and round and confusing myself.
