Are married women bullied less at work? - page 6

Are women who are married less likely to be bullied than a single woman with no kids??... Read More

  1. by   KelRN215
    Quote from EmilyEmily
    Yes, it was a repeated occurrence. I know when I'm being bullied and I don't need people telling me any different. Stop gas lighting
    You previously accused all of us of bullying you because we told you it's not an expectation that your professors spoon feed you Power Point slides and study guides. What you have described thus far on this thread is not bullying. Just because someone says something you don't like doesn't make it bullying.
  2. by   meanmaryjean
    Quote from KelRN215
    You previously accused all of us of bullying you because we told you it's not an expectation that your professors spoon feed you Power Point slides and study guides. What you have described thus far on this thread is not bullying. Just because someone says something you don't like doesn't make it bullying.
    'Like' was not enough. thanks!
  3. by   smartnurse1982
    Quote from T-Bird78
    No, marital status or kids don't make you less of a target. I'm married with two kids and was bullied (yes, actual bullying; the sole target of the individual, progressively worse actions/comments, physically sick about the thought of going to work, all reported by myself and other staff with no assistance from the manager so I quit) by a divorced MA who's 35 years older than I am. My current manager is single with no kids, no desire to get married or have kids, and while she has never bullied me, I don't think she understands when my family commitments overshadow my work sometimes. I feel guilty calling out for a sick kid, or if my husband calls me for something at work. In my interview, she even asked if I'd be reliable having two kids now instead of just one since it's twice as likely to have a sick child. (I'm a rehire, I left when I had my baby and came back a year later).
    Would you understand if a single woman has "single commitments" and wants to hang out in a bar on Saturday night?

    As to the OP,i do not know if i feel "bullied" but i know what you mean with snide remarks and comments. i get them all the time.

    The WORST is when other nurses "THINK" i am looking for a date and try to hook me up with some bum in their family.

    Now,i do think single nurses with kids have it the WORST with bullying.
    They get the best of "both" worlds.
  4. by   Esme12
    Quote from imintrouble
    I love that quote.
    I never heard it before I came to AN.
    It's inspiring. It strengthens. I could most definitely see myself adopting it as my mantra.

    Unfortunately, it's just not true.
    It is essentially. If someone is bothering you....telling you you are no good....and you laugh and walk away never giving them the satisfaction versus letting them get under your skin and feeding on your own self doubts that you allow to seep in then you feel bad because you let them make you feel bad.

    Versus Laughing and walking away saying..."Whatever"...as go on your Merry way.

    Words are not hurtful in and of themselves...it is what we feel that puts power into them. Otherwise they are just words.

    I think we control how we allow ourselves to be treated (in a general sense).
  5. by   Esme12
    Quote from EmilyEmily
    Yes, it was a repeated occurrence. I know when I'm being bullied and I don't need people telling me any different. Stop gas lighting
    "Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted" Ralph Waldo Emerson
  6. by   Esme12
    Quote from chrisrn24
    Maybe bullying in the sense of management asking you to work extra shifts...somehow if you're married and have kids your free time is worth more than mine because I'm single.
    When I was a supervisor (and a manager) I called everyone. I did not discriminate. The staffing office did not discriminate.... I/we started at A and ended at Z. I/we would make these calls at 6PM, 10pm, 5am for a 12 hrs night shift.

    When you are staffing a 320 bed facility that is a TON of phone calls. I have called people on the beach in Florida on vacation. I have accidentally called people in the hospital...damn cell phones. I have had husbands scream at me on the phone and say some EXTREMELY unpleasant and derogatory names. Some of them were quite foul and derogatory.

    Here is the deal.

    Everyone feels they are being picked on...Everyone feels they are being called because they are single, married, gay, catholic, not catholic, childless, several children...poor, wealthy, new home, no new home....but the simple truth is....SOMEONE needs to cover YOUR co-workers sick call or no show.... someone MUST stay or work short...take it up with them.

    I have reminded certain nurses (the ones who scream at me about being called to work) that the reason they are working short and have to file an unsafe staffing report with the union is because just like "you" everyone has refused to come in on their personal time. Karma.
  7. by   morte
    Quote from klone
    The Princess Bride came out about 30 years ago.

    Funsucker.
    I have probably seen 1/2 dozen movies in my life, there are some of us with better things to do with our time. what is " funsucker" frankly sounds obscene to me....
  8. by   ixchel
    Quote from KelRN215
    You previously accused all of us of bullying you because we told you it's not an expectation that your professors spoon feed you Power Point slides and study guides. What you have described thus far on this thread is not bullying. Just because someone says something you don't like doesn't make it bullying.
    Oh my.... I thought this screen name sounded familiar.
  9. by   morte
    Quote from Rose_Queen
    I've never seen the movie (and many others that popular phrases come from), but I knew about the quote because of how prevalent it is.
    not where I live.
  10. by   ixchel
    Quote from T-Bird78
    No, marital status or kids don't make you less of a target. I'm married with two kids and was bullied (yes, actual bullying; the sole target of the individual, progressively worse actions/comments, physically sick about the thought of going to work, all reported by myself and other staff with no assistance from the manager so I quit) by a divorced MA who's 35 years older than I am. My current manager is single with no kids, no desire to get married or have kids, and while she has never bullied me, I don't think she understands when my family commitments overshadow my work sometimes. I feel guilty calling out for a sick kid, or if my husband calls me for something at work. In my interview, she even asked if I'd be reliable having two kids now instead of just one since it's twice as likely to have a sick child. (I'm a rehire, I left when I had my baby and came back a year later).
    This is awful. 😔 I'm sorry for this experience.
  11. by   chrisrn24
    Quote from smartnurse1982
    Would you understand if a single woman has "single commitments" and wants to hang out in a bar on Saturday .
    This is more what I meant.

    If my married with kids coworker tells our boss "oh I'm sorry I can't pick up Friday, I have Timmy's soccer game that night" it's understandable to them. If I say "oh sorry I just want the night off" or "I'm going to the bar" or "you know, I already have planned a marathon on netflix and lying around in sweats" nobody seems to understand. What I do with my free time is mine. I shouldn't feel the need to justify it. People at my work tend to give you flak. I wouldn't call it bullying by management but it's not exactly being nice either.
  12. by   AmyRN303
    Quote from Esme12
    "Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted" Ralph Waldo Emerson
    This is my personal favorite quote. I've run into far too many a person as of late that takes my disagreement personally.
  13. by   klone
    Quote from Ruas61
    I am a crusty old bat.

    I am crusty because my philosophy/presentation is direct, to the point and no nonsense. I am not unkind, cut throat or unfeeling. I am just pass the fluffy stage.

    I am old because I have aged into it with my earthly yearsand professional experience. G-d willing, so will all the rest of the nurses coming up.

    Bat comes with the club name here I guess.
    I am everything you describe a "crusty old bat" to be. But I don't call myself one. I just call myself blunt. I am not a fan of "clubs" or cliques.

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