Your Thoughts Requested

[weezieRN]

My husband and I have been having this discussion since my DR recently found a nodule on my thyroid. What do you think or what would DR's think of a spouse requesting to be in the operating room during a surgery? Do you think it is possible, have you ever had anyone request this. I know it is probably something that people just don't address with their DR's but my husband is adament about this stuff, not wanting if something should happen for me to be alone with strangers if i should pass away. Your thoughts and ideas will be greatly appreciated.

[weezieRN]

I'm sorry you can't understand why things are as they are. Maybe you could spend the day in the OR with another nurse and then maybe you'll understand why the rules are why they are. Also, I really think you need to understand that you aren't going to die on the OR table so there is no reason for him to be there. You are going to do just fine if they decide they need to operate. orrnlori,

I do understand the way things are in the OR that is why I am making such a bold statement, there is room for family if they are calm cool and collected, yes sure there is a time and place for everything and I think this is the time and place, Are you GOD, no i dare say not! I have known of some cases of general surgeries like lap chole's get extremely hairy with unknown cardiac arrythmias or just even that that occurs within the first minutes of anesthesia as you i am sure can well attest. NO offense but why such a chip on your shoulder, husbands are allowed in with the delivery of a csection, do you think that is not major surgery? NOT. This is just like anywhere else in the hospital setting, if you are disorderly, can not take the stress or get ill at the site of blood or needles you shouldnt be there, but what is the harm setting at the head of the bed or in the corner somewhere just to be close by. I am sure if asked or with papers from a lawyer they would allow you in or it is something to say for the hospital and its staff. My husband is willing to sign any paper imagineable. I think it is true love and devotion to be at the side of your spouse praying in their time of need

[orrnlori, RN]

I'm sorry I've made you so angry. I don't think I'm God nor do I have a chip on my shoulder. I thought since you were a nurse, you would have an understanding that the reason the rules are what they are is for the patient's safety and well being.

[camay1221_RN]

If I remember correctly, you were the one who put up the post asking what others thought, and now it appears you are being defensive at the advice you asked for.

Orrnlori was't anywhere near alluding that she is God, but she is an OR RN, and truthfully, I would think she would know her job better than those of us who don't. I don't even pretend to know what it is like to be in her job, but I remember from nursing school, it was an adjustment for the staff for the students to be there. Besides that, we weren't watching someone we love being manipulated in ways I wouldn't want my family members to be subjected to.

Are you an OR RN? Have you considered job shadowing with an OR RN? Think about looking into that!

I don't mean to flame here, but your responses have been rather defensive from this end. If that is not your intention, then accept my apology for misreading.

I'm sorry you can't understand why things are as they are. Maybe you could spend the day in the OR with another nurse and then maybe you'll understand why the rules are why they are. Also, I really think you need to understand that you aren't going to die on the OR table so there is no reason for him to be there. You are going to do just fine if they decide they need to operate. orrnlori,

I do understand the way things are in the OR that is why I am making such a bold statement, there is room for family if they are calm cool and collected, yes sure there is a time and place for everything and I think this is the time and place, Are you GOD, no i dare say not! I have known of some cases of general surgeries like lap chole's get extremely hairy with unknown cardiac arrythmias or just even that that occurs within the first minutes of anesthesia as you i am sure can well attest. NO offense but why such a chip on your shoulder, husbands are allowed in with the delivery of a csection, do you think that is not major surgery? NOT. This is just like anywhere else in the hospital setting, if you are disorderly, can not take the stress or get ill at the site of blood or needles you shouldnt be there, but what is the harm setting at the head of the bed or in the corner somewhere just to be close by. I am sure if asked or with papers from a lawyer they would allow you in or it is something to say for the hospital and its staff. My husband is willing to sign any paper imagineable. I think it is true love and devotion to be at the side of your spouse praying in their time of need

[gypsyatheart]

I agree, weeziern, you are sounding somewhat defensive here.

I see that you are a relatively new nurse. You need to understand that OR is not just like anywhere else in the hospital. I'm sure if you think about it, objectively, for a minute, you will understand why it is not feasible for lay people....friends/family to be in the OR. The liability the hospital would face alone is unbelievable. You have no idea of what can happen in OR...you are very delicately balanced by anesthesia. The risk of infection is huge. The actions, willful or not, of bystanders....just too big of a risk to take. And, FYI, a c-section and general surgery are two very different things, for one thing, an observer is only allowed in the OR for a c-section if the mom is awake...under epidural/spinal anesthesia.

Could it be, understandably, that you are somewhat afraid of your upcoming surgery? I don't blame you, but you have to understand....sometimes the best customer service, meaning, doing the best thing for the patient, is not the thing you want, but what is best for you. Your husband can be nearby; he's an adult, I'm sure you can explain hospital procedure to him. Any reasonable person would understand. I know I wouldn't want to be the one to cause an untoward event in my loved ones care just because I was being stubborn.

Good luck to you.

[lovinghands]

The likelihood of your husband being allowed into the OR room is slim. But my opinion is....express your concerns with your physician. There might be a compromise, such as another poster stated, ie gowned up and outside the room to at least allay his and your fears. Please don't take offense at the postings - they are trying to explain the rationale behind no visitors in OR and they do make sense. I understand though your desire to have a loved one nearby during a very stressful and yes somewhat risky procedure. God Bless.

[mattsmom81]

Weezie, I underwent the same surgery as you and my hubby held my hand til I was sedated in preop holding area by anesthesia. He then waited in the waiting room til I came to postop where he saw me again as I woke up.

Everyone feared the nodule would be CA but it was BENIGN.

So...try not to worry til you have to is my advice. Your hubby will be close by and try to remember your chances of dying in OR is very very slim.

Visitors in high tech high risk areas is a hot topic today. As an ICU nurse I know how important it is that OR staff have a controlled environment with minimal distractions. It is for the welfare of the patients.

I'll be thinking good thoughts for you. :)

[RNKITTY04]

Lori,

Just an FYI...

Everything you post is "right on" I agree with a previous poster who suggested you should be a clinical instructer. I would LOVE to have you as my preceptor. Please keep on posting, as a future OR nurse I learn so much just by reading your posts.

Thank you!

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

You want your husband in the room in case something should go wrong and you were to die. However, if you did arrest it is likely that staff will not be able to support your distraught husband, that he will see your body cut open as they try internal massage, there will be blood everywhere, no one will be able to treat your body with the gentleness that he would, and he will be among strangers as he tries to cope with a gory, chaotic loss. If, God forbid, you KNEW you were going to die during the surgery, and you could choose the situation for him, is that the memory you want him to be left with?

Are there other reasons you want him present while you are under anesthesia? Given the scene I have presented you can see why families are not allowed to go into the OR, even in extremely risky cases. If you have other concerns let us know, we may be able to help in some way.

[CIRQL8]

I must agree with everyones postings. You all have said it so well. Also, as you know, each institutions' floor plans are quite different. In my place, it would be impossible to have someone "gowned up" and waiting in the wings outside the OR.

Lori - you are quite articulate with your words, and your thoughts always appear to be in order. Do you precept? You'd be great. And I agree, you should consider instructing, or being an educator for the OR dept.

Weezie -please realize that we are not trying to minimize your feelings or needs, nor that of your husband. You are safer with only those in the OR that are intended to be there, educated, oriented, policies procedures, sterility, etc. Every extra body brings a risk to the OR.

I'm sure that your hospital has family in the Pre-Op holding area w/ the patient. Most allow one or more family members. Allow the anesthetist or nurse to sedate you with midazolam when offered (and it will be offered!). It will calm your anxieties and that in turn will make your husband less anxious. It also has an amnesia affect, and you (most likely) will not even remember not having your husband with you!!

I hope that you take all our advice and thoughts in the manner in which it is intended!!

I'm sure I echo everyones sentiments when I wish you well in your procedure and recovery time.

[stevierae]

thanks for the replies and i know everyone has a job to do etc and don't want the added trouble of someone else in the room but he is not the least bit squeamish, watched all my births, guts deer etc. Do people not have a heart out there...... What is the difference if someone passes away on a med/surg unit than in the OR don't you want family to be there instead of strangers, but i guess that doesn't matter because the pt won't be any of the wiser and that is my point exactly. Isn't this a "consumer oriented " industry now do what the families want to make the surveys and scores good. Why would anyone have a problem with it, if something should happen not saying it will to have someone sitting their quietly just observing. Do pts have consent forms signed for students to be in the room during a surgery, i think not, what is the difference. Just my opinions

Weezie, I am going to narrow it down to five words one of the main reasons why family, or anyone else not used to an operating room on a regular basis cannot be allowed in there: THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND STERILE TECHNIQUE.

[Nurse Ratched, RN]

Weezie, I am going to narrow it down to five words one of the main reasons why family, or anyone else not used to an operating room on a regular basis cannot be allowed in there: THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND STERILE TECHNIQUE.

Or as the crusty OR nurse told me as a student when I watched my one and only live surgery: DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING BLUE. If you pass out, pass out AWAY from the blue stuff.

[CCU NRS]

Oh, and unless you are extremely unhealthy, thyroid surgery is very very successful. There is no reason to think you would pass away during the surgery. I know surgery of any kind is scary, I've had several myself, but you are not going to die in the OR. Assure your husband.

I agree that NO ONE dies in OR