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Nurses General Nursing

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My husband and I have been having this discussion since my DR recently found a nodule on my thyroid. What do you think or what would DR's think of a spouse requesting to be in the operating room during a surgery? Do you think it is possible, have you ever had anyone request this. I know it is probably something that people just don't address with their DR's but my husband is adament about this stuff, not wanting if something should happen for me to be alone with strangers if i should pass away. Your thoughts and ideas will be greatly appreciated.

Specializes in Only the O.R. and proud of it!.

I finally get it!! DH is Dear Husband!! (i think!?)

P.S. I'm new at this, don't know most of the lingo/jargon.

Weezie - lots of good advice posted here. Perhaps we should agree to disagree.

None-the-less, right or wrong, no OR will let family observe the surgery.

I've circulated for surgoens and their wives/husbands as my patients, and they do not enter the OR.

I will say one incident that I don't agree with - one surgeon performed surgery on his own wife. That's the only thing that I have experienced even closely related to our subject matter.

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Maybe one more voice stating the obvious:

Some things are clear here.

WeezieRN is not an RN. An RN would not have posed this issue, unless it was because a patient wanted it. Even so.....

Probably her husband isn't as concerned about being with her as she is concerned about his being with her.

She's really looking for reassurance that what she wants is reasonable and right, so no matter how much we say about infection control and her own safety during surgery, not to mention her husband's safety and the ability for the OR staff to do their thing, she's not going to hear anything except what she wants to hear. The rest of it is going to be met with annoyance and argument.

But this is not reasonable, nor is it right. For one, I would not be caught dead (?@!) in a hospital that would even permit an unnecessary onlooker (students being necessary due to training needs). For two, I think it's the surest way to quickly reach financial security: sue the hospital for postop complications r/t intraop exposure to pathogens, because "they shouldn't have let us do this."

JMHO.

I believe you all are incorrect. Weezie is an RN. After I received the unambiguous personal remarks that were so out of character for one RN to another (well, now that I think of it, it's pretty common, RN v RN), and having the day off work to study, I went back and looked at Weezie's other posts. If she is not a nurse, she's doing an excellent job of describing the job, apparently graduated last year and has just moved from med/surg to OB. ( I can't imagine anyone being so bored with their lives that they'd make up all the things posted under her name. ) So I believe she's a nurse.

Weezie, I'm uncertain why you can't see the objective reasons and rationale posted here in reference to your possible upcoming surgery and your situation, so I therefore have to assume your response is basically emotional rather than reasonable and thoughtful based on the education you have received up to this point. We all are emotional creatures, it's what make us human. The responses you have received here were based on sound medical principle as well as nursing considerations for the patient and for the patient's optimal outcome. It is what it is.

I know that in the OR, I sometimes can get wrapped up in the emotional issues that the patient may bring forth prior to coming into the OR. I always step back and look at it from the standpoint of the best outcome for the patient. That's what I'm taught to do as a nurse, and that's my responsibility to my position and to my patient. I have stood nose to nose with surgeons advocating for my patient in the OR. It's not just what I do, it's what I am, the patient's advocate. While you apparently cannot see it right now, the physical health considerations outweigh the emotional concerns in this matter.

I don't expect you to back down from your position. I do, however, expect you will loose this argument with your physician and your hospital should you have the surgery. I think your argument stems from the thought (or your husband's thought) that you will die during the surgery, otherwise, there would really be no argument. All I can tell you is that I participate in many many thyroid, parathyroid, neck dissections, etc., each and every week. I've been in the OR for over 5 years. I haven't lost a patient yet and don't expect to in this type of surgery.

I really do wish you the best outcome. I also would suggest you try to learn from those around you who have experience. As a nurse, I learn from others everday and I've changed my ideas about life and nursing often as I've traveled this road.

I do hope that if you need the surgery, you won't allow yourself to decide the issue wholely based on whether your husband is present or not. Because if you do, you won't have the surgery you may very well need badly. Best wishes.

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I dont know if i should be on here but dont really care after listening to what you have been saying to my wife ifeel i need to be.I dont know who ccu nrs is but your a sick person my wife is most certainly a rn and in the near future will be working on a masters degree im not asking for anything special i love my wife and believe that if anything is to happen the one person on the face of the earth that should be there is me and i want her with me if i am in the same position. listening to half of you i wouldn't want you taking care of me because there's no caring just another piece of meat on the table. history was full of change and i believe your all afraid of it im sorry im stepping on your toes but in my marriage vows it said to have and to hold until death due us part, not until hospital administration steps in. I know you still dont understand and im not going to waste anymore time trying we love each other thats the bottum line and i wish you would stop bashing her for it. sorry for all the errors i dont wright much. thanks glenn

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I dont know if i should be on here but dont really care after listening to what you have been saying to my wife ifeel i need to be.I dont know who ccu nrs is but your a sick person my wife is most certainly a rn and in the near future will be working on a masters degree im not asking for anything special i love my wife and believe that if anything is to happen the one person on the face of the earth that should be there is me and i want her with me if i am in the same position. listening to half of you i wouldn't want you taking care of me because there's no caring just another piece of meat on the table. history was full of change and i believe your all afraid of it im sorry im stepping on your toes but in my marriage vows it said to have and to hold until death due us part, not until hospital administration steps in. I know you still dont understand and im not going to waste anymore time trying we love each other thats the bottum line and i wish you would stop bashing her for it. sorry for all the errors i dont wright much. thanks glenn

You have unknowingly just proved why family members will never be allowed in sensitive areas of the hospital.

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Specializes in Case Mgmt; Mat/Child, Critical Care.

Lori, you are sooo right! I believe she is a very new, very inexperienced nurse. Weezie and her husband are speaking out of ignorance, as his post demonstrates. Both are being very unreasonable as I see it.

I do wish her luck however, it is hard to face surgery, especvially when you have a loved one pressuring you to allow something you just can't make happen. Plus, she truly does not understand, clearly, what is at stake here.

You have unknowingly just proved why family members will never be allowed in sensitive areas of the hospital.
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This is one of the most bizarre threads I've ever seen on this board...

....WHY would someone be so terrified of thyroid surgery, and so certain that they were going to face death?

:uhoh21:

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This is one of the most bizarre threads I've ever seen on this board...

....WHY would someone be so terrified of thyroid surgery, and so certain that they were going to face death?

:uhoh21:

Bizarre it is!! If you read Weezie's background she graduated from an Associate's degree RN program. I am graduating in May from an Associate's degree program... I feel she makes us fellow ADN grads look bad...We were most definitely taught about infection control, etc, etc. :o

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I'm not saying that a person shouldn't be concerned, even scared, when faced with surgery.

I would be...

...but her fear seems out of proportion.

Is she afraid she will be sexually abused while under anesthesia? That's the only "logical" thing I can think of that would cause this sort of thing...

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Specializes in Rehab, Step-down,Tele,Hospice.

never mind

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Ok i give up, cause i can see that I am not getting anywhere with the posters here and ultimately you don't have any say in anything just your opinions. So to all of you belittlers out there you are exactly the people that shouldn't be taking care of people, you do your job and that is it,which is fine but you don't deal with families or see the end result of your actions. I know you (whomever) will not care about what a patients outcome was post surgery and that is fine, maybe as you guys put I should come to the OR and observe, not that I haven't) but if you can to the regular floor you would see how much or how little family involvement is and what it means to a positive outcome, which is what we all want. Family involvement is encoraged and at times very required. As shazam states about sexual assault that is not likely to happen but I am sure somewhere in hx it probably has and I know what goes on saying about this and that about the person on the table. Some surgeons of cases i have been in on have had no conversations not even whispers just the task at hand. I know how nurses are or can be. Sure i would worry about privacy, but if its a private matter as all hospital visits should be it should be done in private or codes should be used. There are people that hear what is going on with others be it roomate or just passing by the nurses station at times it can't be helped you just hope the person on the other end has good judgement not to repeat what has been said. I recently had outpt testing and they use number to recognize the pt but while in radiology the techs just called out the person's name, what about their privacy? There is room for change in all areas, if people are willing to bend a little. Being a hospital employee dont you think you could get some perks.

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This is one of the most bizarre threads I've ever seen on this board...

Actually it is quite representative of day to day nursing in my ICU...where today's families and patients expect they will get their way...at any cost. Anything less is unacceptable. Welcome to 'Reality Hospital". :( :uhoh3:

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Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.

weezie-I so hope that you and DHglenn get your wishes and someday die in each others arms...that ain't very likely to occur naturally in real life but you can always have hope.You very respectfully asked for the board's opinion on this matter and then because it was not what you wanted to hear you and DH accuse the board of flaming you and being bad nurses...Any reasonable person can understand the problem with what you propose...As good nurses we KNOW that there is way more going on then what we see here-there are other reasons why you and your DH feel so strongly about your up-coming procedure...You need to talk to your doc about this-hopefully he can assuage some of your fears...

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