So many of you are amazing people and nurses. The time you put in responding to posts on Allnurses really does make a difference.
BUT.
When people come here asking for advice on a situation, they are not looking for your opinion of them as a person or their behavior. You all know what threads I'm talking about.
It's one thing to point out that their behavior could potentially be dangerous to patients.
It's one thing to be honest and tell them that their future doesn't look too bright.
It's one thing to suggest they may find seeing a therapist very helpful.
It's another to tell them they are mentally ill, mock them RELENTLESSLY, or judge them. When you do this to your fellow nurses (that have just come to you for advice), you're worse than that poor, scared soul you FLAMED for thinking a drug abuser may have a bloodborne illness.
These posters are often simply desperate, scared, or just plain curious!
I know it's important to have a thick skin when you work in healthcare, and I sure as heck am not busting out the trigger-words bully†or NETY.†It's just that even in my CNA class, it was emphasized over and over that it's not our place to judge patients. Can't you afford the same courtesy to other nurses?
I'm generally a pretty quiet person, but I believe in standing up for other people. So I just had to put this out there.
Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.
Text speak is annoying to me also just because it's so lazy and hard to read. Calling someone out for a misspelled word just makes people feel better about themselves by putting others down. .
I agree with this. There is a perfect example of this happening right now in another thread. Someone spelled "tutor" as "tudor" and the thread devolved into several people posting in mockery of the misspelling. This is a perfect example of "gang mentality" at someone else's expense. To what end? For some virtual "high fives" and to be thought witty by the other posters.
Is it against TOS? Probably not. Is it still kind of mean? Well, obviously "mean" is in the eye of the beholder, but yeah, I thought it was kind of mean, and probably made the OP feel kind of ******.
Those are the threads I'm referring to. There was nothing constructive in that. Just a bunch of people making fun of a spelling error.
I agree with this. There is a perfect example of this happening right now in another thread. Someone spelled "tutor" as "tudor" and the thread devolved into several people posting in mockery of the misspelling. This is a perfect example of "gang mentality" at someone else's expense. To what end? For some virtual "high fives" and to be thought witty by the other posters.
Is it against TOS? Probably not. Is it still kind of mean? Well, obviously "mean" is in the eye of the beholder, but yeah, I thought it was kind of mean, and probably made the OP feel kind of ******.
Those are the threads I'm referring to. There was nothing constructive in that. Just a bunch of people making fun of a spelling error.
See, if I was the OP who made the spelling error, I would either facepalm it or join in. So, IMO, not mean. We all just have different tolerances for what is funny.
Honestly? When someone has corrected my spelling or grammar here, I have been appreciative. It means a lot to me to speak/write appropriately and correctly. I want my public perception, whether in person or online, to be that of a relatively well-educated person, who happens to be representing the profession of nursing.
Which leads back to the extremely relevant point that has been made multiple times: rude to one is constructive to another. Not everyone on AN.Com will EVER agree on the definitions of those two words.
Text speak is annoying to me also just because it's so lazy and hard to read. Calling someone out for a misspelled word just makes people feel better about themselves by putting others down. If you are under the age of 7 then rudeness may be hard to point out or understand. But all of us are older than that (if you're following the TOS) and know rudeness when we see or type it. Some people are just feigning misunderstanding. No group-speak required.
That happens on FB as well. My niece does it - "U R so nice". How hard is it to type "you" and "are"?
Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.
Honestly? When someone has corrected my spelling or grammar here, I have been appreciative. It means a lot to me to speak/write appropriately and correctly..
Okay, but one post corrected the spelling error. The other half dozen made fun of it.
See, if I was the OP who made the spelling error, I would either facepalm it or join in. So, IMO, not mean. We all just have different tolerances for what is funny.
Honestly? When someone has corrected my spelling or grammar here, I have been appreciative. It means a lot to me to speak/write appropriately and correctly. I want my public perception, whether in person or online, to be that of a relatively well-educated person, who happens to be representing the profession of nursing.
Which leads back to the extremely relevant point that has been made multiple times: rude to one is constructive to another. Not everyone on AN.Com will EVER agree on the definitions of those two words.
Oh yeah, I'm not perfect either. I don't mind being corrected if I make a mistake in spelling or grammar and take it in stride. I don't think having fun with spelling/grammar stuff is automatically rude though. I can laugh at myself and with others regarding this issue.
Each of us has our weak points though - I won't tell you mine.
If you are under the age of 7 then rudeness may be hard to point out or understand. But all of us are older than that (if you're following the TOS) and know rudeness when we see or type it. Some people are just feigning misunderstanding. No group-speak required.
Not really. There is no universal way to perceive what is rude or not rude on AN or anyplace else for that matter. Age has nothing to do with it.
Not really. There is no universal definition of rudeness on AN or anyplace else for that matter. Age has nothing to do with it.
Exactly. In mainstream American culture, it's rude or evasive not to make eye contact with your interlocutor. However in some Native American, Middle Eastern, and Asian cultures, it's extremely rude to look someone you don't know well directly in the eye. And that's just one example....
Well, we don't really even have to debate if text speak on AN is rude, because it is against TOS. We are supposed to use standard English on this site. Text speak isn't always understandable to our members whose first language is not English.
Well, we don't really even have to debate if text speak on AN is rude, because it is against TOS. We are supposed to use standard English on this site. Text speak isn't always understandable to our members whose first language is not English.
And it's not understandable to some of us whose first language is English:p
I do think that the OP is food for thought. After more than two hundred posts I don't see the "two sides" of this debate ever seeing eye to eye. I've only read a couple of pages in total but that's enough for me. There are probably many posts that in my opinion are worthy of "likes" in there, but I find this topic a bit depressing, so I'll pass on reading the rest.
I agree with this. There is a perfect example of this happening right now in another thread. Someone spelled "tutor" as "tudor" and the thread devolved into several people posting in mockery of the misspelling. This is a perfect example of "gang mentality" at someone else's expense. To what end? For some virtual "high fives" and to be thought witty by the other posters.
Is it against TOS? Probably not. Is it still kind of mean? Well, obviously "mean" is in the eye of the beholder, but yeah, I thought it was kind of mean, and probably made the OP feel kind of ******.
Those are the threads I'm referring to. There was nothing constructive in that. Just a bunch of people making fun of a spelling error.
I do agree with you on this. Situations like these can be funny if the person who's the target of the teasing laughs together with the others. If the person that the joke is aimed at doesn't seem amused, the teasing changes from being friendly ribbing to something more mean in nature. There is a difference between laughing with someone and laughing at someone.
The internet can be tricky. You never know how your written words are perceived. Many of the clues that we get when we communicate face to face and that help us decipher intent, aren't available to us when reading someone's online words. I sometimes think that I come across as more snarky than I intend to. But I'm not a saint. I have been deliberately snarky on two occasions. One of them I regret because it was just a sign of the frustration I felt with that particular poster. The other one I don't regret, I thought and still think that person wholly deserved it and habitually gives at least as good as s/he got. I never had a doubt in my mind that I was being willfully haughty on these occasions. If we're honest with ourselves, I think that most of us recognize when that's the case.
Everytime I see a thread devolve into a verbal slugfest, I keep thinking that either party is free to step away at any time. If you remove yourself from the fray, the whole drama will instantly stop being an annoyance and will eventually dwindle down and die. Staying there is a choice. Sometimes I don't think us humans are very bright (myself included ).
If you have not lurked on this site long enough to know you are going to get a straight answer to a stupid question then withhold your comment until you have developed a constitution that can take a little constructive criticism and not crumple into a quivering heap of goo whimpering aloud "that nurse was a mean, rude bully that ate me alive".
I totally agree not to post on a board before you have lurked long enough to get a feeling for the 'culture' and to get to know how some of the more active posters 'speak'.
).
klone, MSN, RN
14,857 Posts
I agree with this. There is a perfect example of this happening right now in another thread. Someone spelled "tutor" as "tudor" and the thread devolved into several people posting in mockery of the misspelling. This is a perfect example of "gang mentality" at someone else's expense. To what end? For some virtual "high fives" and to be thought witty by the other posters.
Is it against TOS? Probably not. Is it still kind of mean? Well, obviously "mean" is in the eye of the beholder, but yeah, I thought it was kind of mean, and probably made the OP feel kind of ******.
Those are the threads I'm referring to. There was nothing constructive in that. Just a bunch of people making fun of a spelling error.