Would you have called out?

[Angeljho]

So, I'm in the hot seat with some family members.

I have family who traveled from the South for a planned family get-together/reunion. Of course, they chose a weekend that I work even though I told them ahead of time that I would be working. It's very hard to request a weekend off. After my request was denied (big surprise there), I tried to switch with someone and had no luck. My family then pressured me to call out and I didn't. First off, calling out after getting a denied request is a huge NO-NO. Today they're leaving and I feel so guilty; not to mention that they are furious with me. I feel guilty because I received advice from several of my co-workers and they said they would have called out for family they don't regularly spend time with.

Would you have called out?

[klone, MSN, RN]

I agree with Caliotter. It has nothing to do with being in healthcare. It shouldn't be done in ANY job.

I admit that I find it a bit annoying when people say "Nurses just can't do that. People depend on them."

That's not unique to nursing.

[Libby1987]

Agree about any job. Did they seriously say, just don't go to work, lie about being sick? I wouldn't tell my kids to do that in their min wage jobs.

Family reunions are usually a few months or more in advance, too bad they couldn't pick one of your weekends available.

[Libby1987]

Weird that several of your coworkers said they would have called out but wouldn't help you out.

[Nonyvole, BSN, RN]

Oh good grief, no.

If you're the only one in the family who works in healthcare, it gets really old really fast to be eternally hearing "well, you could have just called out." "You don't have to work the holidays." "We missed you at (insert family event here)." "We haven't seen you in forever!" "Your husband misses you!" (No, he doesn't. He likes the guaranteed income and financial stability that it brings more than having us sit around staring at each other.)

Yes, I have experience with that particular subset of the population who have only worked traditional 9-5, Monday-Friday jobs that they could take off from with minimal notice. No, it doesn't get any easier because no matter what I say, how I explain it, it never stops. So I've given up and just pick up more shifts at work to see them less. There are some family members that I haven't seen in years because of the amount of guilt they try to pile on me for actually doing my job and carrying my fare share of the cruddy shifts.

Rant over. Sorry.

[caliotter3]

Good rant, Nonyvole.

[CT Pixie, BSN, RN]

I've had this happen to me several times. Family coming from out of state that I haven't seen in forever...all gathering at one family members house..and its my day or weekend to work. I've had to pass on more visting with family than I care to think of. Often its last minute they are coming..i get the text or email that says I'll be in your area on XX day..if your working can you call out? Or I love this one, "i'm giving you plenty of notice, I'll be your way in 3 weeks..' yeah to the average person 3 wks is great but my schedule is already posted.

I never call out. I do make my best attempt to get to the gathering if at all possible, but if I can't, I can't. They won't be paying my bills if I'm fired.

[MidLifeRN2012]

If there is something rare that comes up that you feel you have to attend on your chosen weekend, I would not ask for it off in advance since they can keep records of what dates you request. And don't bother to ask to switch unless you know for a fact that they will. If you can't get the day off by self scheduling in advance, simply call in sick..even act "sick" the day before. Just make sure your photos don't make it on social media.

Where I work this is normal routine when you really need a day off for something that can't be rescheduled (best friend/family wedding, reunion concert by The Who (kidding ...sort of, etc). So far no one has been let go. Just don't make it a habit. It should be rare. Whenever possible and a date can be switched, don't call in.

And for Gods sake don't tell co-workers your plans like some foolishly do. Someday it will come back to bite you.

[Rose_Queen, BSN, MSN, RN]

If there is something rare that comes up that you feel you have to attend on your chosen weekend, I would not ask for it off in advance since they can keep records of what dates you request. And don't bother to ask to switch unless you know for a fact that they will. If you can't get the day off by self scheduling in advance, simply call in sick..even act "sick" the day before. Just make sure your photos don't make it on social media.

So, you advocate going straight to plan B without making any effort? Mind boggling.

[Umnan]

I agree with most that you did the right thing....And don't feel ashamed for it!

[Angeljho, MSN, NP]

Agree about any job. Did they seriously say, just don't go to work, lie about being sick? I wouldn't tell my kids to do that in their min wage jobs.

Family reunions are usually a few months or more in advance, too bad they couldn't pick one of your weekends available.

Yea, the pressure was definitely on. I've missed several family get-togethers before because I couldn't get out of work, so it's a "choose us for once" kind of thing with them.

[Emergent, RN]

Yea, the pressure was definitely on. I've missed several family get-togethers before because I couldn't get out of work, so it's a "choose us for once" kind of thing with them.

Maybe they should check with you ahead of time for once. They sounds so needy and demanding. Grrrr

[Angeljho, MSN, NP]

If there is something rare that comes up that you feel you have to attend on your chosen weekend, I would not ask for it off in advance since they can keep records of what dates you request. And don't bother to ask to switch unless you know for a fact that they will. If you can't get the day off by self scheduling in advance, simply call in sick..even act "sick" the day before. Just make sure your photos don't make it on social media.

Where I work this is normal routine when you really need a day off for something that can't be rescheduled (best friend/family wedding, reunion concert by The Who (kidding ...sort of, etc). So far no one has been let go. Just don't make it a habit. It should be rare. Whenever possible and a date can be switched, don't call in.

And for Gods sake don't tell co-workers your plans like some foolishly do. Someday it will come back to bite you.

Has there ever been a time when you've done this?