Would you have called out?

Nurses General Nursing

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So, I'm in the hot seat with some family members.

I have family who traveled from the South for a planned family get-together/reunion. Of course, they chose a weekend that I work even though I told them ahead of time that I would be working. It's very hard to request a weekend off. After my request was denied (big surprise there), I tried to switch with someone and had no luck. My family then pressured me to call out and I didn't. First off, calling out after getting a denied request is a huge NO-NO. Today they're leaving and I feel so guilty; not to mention that they are furious with me. I feel guilty because I received advice from several of my co-workers and they said they would have called out for family they don't regularly spend time with.

Would you have called out?

Newboy, you did the right thing. I don't think it would have been appropriate to have called out for this. As for not having any luck with your coworkers helping you out, have you considered sweetening the deal? I don't know if this is done often but I've traded off work hours with other people, in exchange for some amount of money. I've seen it done many times, and I've been offered money a few times.

Next time, perhaps get involved in the planning process way ahead of time so you can manage your time off a little more easily.

That is really gross of them to guilt trip you for that.

No, I wouldn't have called out. It doesn't matter to me whether or not I would be caught. It's about my personal integrity. I do not call out unless I am ill or have a family emergency, both of which, thank goodness, are rare occasions for me.

Specializes in PACU, ICU.

No I would not have called out. Your family needs to get a clue that you work in healthcare and that this is what your job is like. Feeling guilty isn't helping you either. Coworkers saying they would've called out wouldn't stop YOU from getting in trouble if you'd done it. If they want to spend time with you have them drive you to & from work and show them around a bit before your shift starts! That and quality matters more than quantity, so getting time with them at breakfast or dinner should count for something too. Also I'm noticing they came on a weekend, so why not invite them back in the middle of the week when you're off...

Specializes in Education.
Good rant, Nonyvole.

Why, thank yew. Thank yew verra much. :p

And practical example. Late last night received the summons about a family dinner this week. I work that day, so I'm not going. At all. And I won't miss it. Sure, hubster and I will hear about it at some point in time, but my opinion is that they can either deal with it or die unhappy.

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

No. But then, my family was aware of what nursing would mean in terms of missed occasions, and we were a military family so it was already expected.

Family members who don't get, you can educate and if still, then it's their problem not mine.

Specializes in kids.
Weird that several of your coworkers said they would have called out but wouldn't help you out.

No, not really, unfortunately.

Specializes in Inpatient Oncology/Public Health.

This makes me appreciate my family. They've come to visit from Texas to New York, and I work every weekend. They've just occupied themselves while I'm working then we get together when I'm off. No guilt trips.

But no, I wouldn't have called out in your shoes. I take work ethic very seriously, sometimes a bit extreme(my husband jokes I would have to be dying not to call in. Not quite that bad.)

Specializes in Psych ICU, addictions.
One of the quickest ways to get a really bad reputation at work is to call off after having asked for those same days off for a personal event and getting turned down.

And this may happen even if you did end up with a bonafide reason for calling out. Even with a doctor's note in your hand, there will be some who question, "was OP really sick?"

And no, I would not have called out. My family and visitors know nursing is 24/7/365. They are aware of my schedule before they come out to visit, and that if I have to work they will have to entertain themselves.

No I wouldn't have called out. I rarely even put in requests for time off for family. (Unless it's immediate family). Even then if my request was denied I would not call out.

Oh and the last time I called out because I was very very sick couldn't even get out of bed so my replacement actually walked out and said this case was too hard. (Pt wouldn't stop having seizures, which is typical for this particular case)

newboy, I'm sure by now you get the gist: don't call out for a shift for which you were previously denied the time off, period. Short of your own hospitalization, of course ;)

Family and friends frequently WON'T "get it". Nothing you can do about that except to be consistent and firm with your policy on these things. Your policy should be something along the lines of "if I have enough notice of an event such that I can request time off, I will. if I am granted the time, YAY, I'm in! If I'm not granted the time....sorry, can't make it that day".

I have spent most of my nursing years working in settings that have required weekends/eves/nights/holidays. Thankfully I have what I call 'normal' hours now, although some of them wouldn't call it normal, LOL.

In the past, have had understanding family members who will ask if I'm available, will this date/time work for me. They either accept 'no' or look to reschedule, if it's important enough that I attend. I've also had NON-understanding family and friends who have become annoyed with me for not "going an inch out of my way" (as though leaving a gap for a healthcare provider for up to 10 people for up to 12 hours is only an 'inch' worth of trouble). I have had some who didn't see WHY I couldn't attend the baby shower that was being held at 2pm, when I had worked the evening/night before and was due in again that evening/night; after all, I WAS OFF, wasn't I? Sigh.

Boundaries, plain and simple. If your family can't respect your work ethic and your job requirements.....joke 'em!

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