Workplace Cowardice

[Mr. Murse]

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people have an issue with what someone else does and before addressing it with that person, they take it directly to management or a "higher up" while the offender may have no idea they even did anything. For example, so and so will hear so and so say something that they felt should not be said at the nurse's station, and instead of taking the issue to them directly they go to the floor manager (didn't happen to me, but I saw it happen).

To me it's cowardly and unprofessional. If you have an issue with someone or something they did, take it to them first and let them know exactly why it's an issue. The majority of the time most issue could be solved interpersonally without having to involve anyone else. If they continue to do whatever they're doing and it's some kind of policy or rule violation, then is the time to take it to the next level and report it to someone above their head.

There are rare exceptions when the first and best option is to go straight to management, but those are few and far between.

Anyway, this is my long winded way of saying don't be a snitch. If you have a problem with a coworker, be a professional and an adult and try to settle it with them personally and leave anyone else out of it if at all possible. If you try and it doesn't resolve the issue, then take it to the next level. You will be a more respectable coworker and management will probably respect you more too.

[QuietRiot]

[cardiacfreak, ADN]

I am management (please don't hold it against me ). Depending on what is brought to me determines how I respond. If it is something the nurse should have or could have addressed themselves, then I tell them that and offer to let them work it out. I give the nurse suggestions on how to handle the situation. Sometimes the person is just not comfortable doing so and in that case it is my responsibility to take care of the issue. Communication is very important and if I have staff that lacks in that area I try to give them the resources to become better communicators. I always follow up to see how the person resolved the issue or if it is still ongoing.

I often wonder though, if you can't comminicate with your colleagues, how are you communicating with patients?

[canigraduate]

Sometimes it is a cultural thing, too. Where I come from, direct confrontation is a complete no-no, especially between genders.

I had to be taught to speak to people directly about problems, and I still have palpitations doing it. The accepted way to work out issues where I'm from is to go to a neutral third party such as a supervisor, teacher, church official, whatever, and bring up the problem. The third party acts as a go-between. This way, there is less chance of a brawl.

When I have tried to deal with problems my way, I have been seen as a "snitch" or as "passive-aggressive." I think it's funny, because my motivation is to avoid a fight.

I have learned my lesson and deal with people straight on. Now, of course, people think I'm abrasive or witchy. Whatever.

[Eru Ilúvatar]

Something that has me miffed is that there were supposedly "numerous complaints" about some of us new hires' nails made to our nsg supervisor by senior staff. It became a big to-do... no acrylics, gels, shallacks, and the list went on. Paint is apparently ok. It just can not be a longer lasting gel manicure I guess. I thought the whole thing really pointed to how petty and childish some "senior staff" can be. FWIW, I have heard that acrylic nails can harbor more bacteria, so I wasn't surprised about the issue with those. But, has anyone heard any reason gel polish is worse than regular polish??

The gel is a better breeding ground for bacteria. It is well know to avoid any kind of artificial substances , extensions in the nails when providing patient care in order to avoid possible chance of spreading infection. This is based on EBP, i am on my phone so is harder to find and link studies, but feel free to research if so is needed.

[KelRN215, BSN, RN]

I tried this recently and it was NOT well received/the person I addressed it with went running to our manager about it.

Briefly- I manage a specific patient population for a home care agency. We have 2 offices Our phones are answered in our main office and I work in our satellite office. The people who answer our phones don't really know what they're doing. A call was transferred to a colleague that should have been transferred to me. She then transferred the call to me, a hospital case manager was trying to make a referral for an area that we don't cover for this specific patient type. When I told her we couldn't accept the referral because we don't cover that particular city for these visits, she got angry and said "well the person who answered the phone said you do." Trying to be non-accusatory, I sent an email to the 4 people who answer the phones reminding them that A) any calls about these types of visits should automatically be transferred to me and B) to please not answer questions from referring sources about whether or not we can accept referrals when they have no way of knowing if we can or not. 1 of these 4 people supervises the other 3. I am quite sure she's frustrated with me because that was the 3rd time in a week that I had to call her attention to the shortcomings of her department- the other times being when someone told the hospital that one of our active patients was discharged years ago [she obviously was looking at the dates for a patient with the same last name when she said this and it ended up making us look very foolish to the hospital] and the second being when an order was received and saved but never sent to the clinical person in charge of actually getting it to a nurse to carry out this order [a lab draw from a port for a child on chemotherapy, it would have been a big deal if this was missed]. Anyway, instead of just appreciating that I brought it to her directly instead of going above her head, she went running to our director. Fortunately she took my side and just reiterated what I said but it became a much bigger deal than it needed to be.

[mimibrown, ADN, BSN]

Real talk- maybe they didn't take it to you because your track record does not say, "I'm open to constructive criticism, or feedback." Your attitude might be saying that you think you are better than others, you are perfect, and you do not make any mistakes. If I've ever gone to the manager first, it was because I didn't think the nurse in question would handle it diplomatically. And it was based directly on past experiences with that particular nurse. Attitude and general demeanor goes a long way.

[nursel56]

Generally speaking I would agree it's better to try and resolve things face-to-face. I was going to say that in my experience if you do that you can actually gain a workplace ally. Having a really frank discussion that results in a meeting of the minds is the best case scenario. Yes, sometimes it can backfire because for some reason dysfunctional people can keep their jobs forever while quietly running their game and sabotaging people. If you are new on a job it helps to observe the dynamics of your workplace for a while before proceeding unless it's a patient safety issue or some other urgent priority.

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

Here's the thing. It is wayyyyy above my pay grade to have discussions with other adults on how to behave like a professional.

That is what a manager is, in part, there for. They are the people who can actually do something about it. To ever get into a "can we have a private discussion" with another co-worker rarely (if ever) turns out well. And to describe adults as "snitches" REALLY?!?!?!?! Come now, we are not in prison nor in a gang on the streets. (or 13 years old).

Just because a nurse has a problem with another nurse hardly ever means that the nurse in question has any problems at all. And if they do, and they are unprofessional, by discussing this directly with them will get into a most productive "you are not the boss of me, stop harassing me!!" conversation. Love those.

If managers take a firm stance on the behavior they expect, how they want the unit to run, and a no tolerance for middle school nonsense, then this would not be an issue. Because most managers are hardly (if ever) on the floor of the unit, THEY don't have a clue what transpires there, and they should. It is why they get paid the big bucks.

[Mr. Murse]

Real talk- maybe they didn't take it to you because your track record does not say, "I'm open to constructive criticism, or feedback." Your attitude might be saying that you think you are better than others, you are perfect, and you do not make any mistakes. If I've ever gone to the manager first, it was because I didn't think the nurse in question would handle it diplomatically. And it was based directly on past experiences with that particular nurse. Attitude and general demeanor goes a long way.

I assume this was in response to my original post. I'm quite certain I'm not the kind of person you've described here. In fact I know I'm not, but that's beside the point really because I was directing this post more towards situations I've witness than situations I've been involved in.

I did admit there would be exceptions where it might be appropriate to go straight to management.

[Mr. Murse]

Here's the thing. It is wayyyyy above my pay grade to have discussions with other adults on how to behave like a professional.

That is what a manager is, in part, there for. They are the people who can actually do something about it. To ever get into a "can we have a private discussion" with another co-worker rarely (if ever) turns out well. And to describe adults as "snitches" REALLY?!?!?!?! Come now, we are not in prison nor in a gang on the streets. (or 13 years old).

Just because a nurse has a problem with another nurse hardly ever means that the nurse in question has any problems at all. And if they do, and they are unprofessional, by discussing this directly with them will get into a most productive "you are not the boss of me, stop harassing me!!" conversation. Love those.

If managers take a firm stance on the behavior they expect, how they want the unit to run, and a no tolerance for middle school nonsense, then this would not be an issue. Because most managers are hardly (if ever) on the floor of the unit, THEY don't have a clue what transpires there, and they should. It is why they get paid the big bucks.

I didn't suggest you try to teach them to be a professional, I suggested you BE the professional and take it to them personally before escalating it unnecessarily (assuming this isn't one of the exceptional situations I admitted that do exist). My point is that a lot of times people do this when it really could have been resolved very simply. Situations where the offender may not have even known they were stepping on anyone's toes or realized how they were coming across. I've personally confronted people like this before and resolved the situation with no management involvement, and left with an increased sense of mutual respect for that coworker to boot.

Sure, if it's a cranky, unapproachable person who has repeatedly proven themselves to be so, then don't bother trying to rationalize with them. But when you're running to your manager every time someone rubs you the wrong way then it's just childish, thus making the term "snitch" appropriate for these people.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

I agree that this is a type of cowardice; that said, not everyone has the confidence in his/her communication skills to address things directly with people. Unfortunately, having to deal with interpersonal conflicts and communication issues is one of the many joys of management, and most people prefer to dump it in the manager's lap rather than muster up the gumption to handle it themselves. Something to bring up at the next staff meeting, maybe? It may be worth a try--sometimes, if people know that you would prefer to hear it from them directly, they find it easier to go to you before running to the boss.

If you don't have confidence in your communication skills to address something like that, it's up to you to develop the communication skills. As far a gumption -- being a nurse requires gumption, so if you don't have it you need to develop that as well. Bringing it up at the next staff meeting is a coward's way out as well. Either address the situation or let it go, but don't go behind someone's back to management or to gossip about it with your peers.

[trinitymaster]

Op, you are being the "snitch" by telling on these nurses to the 24,000 nurses on this site at the moment.

Grow up, seriously.

And remember, "Snitches take out stitches"