Workplace Cowardice

[Mr. Murse]

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people have an issue with what someone else does and before addressing it with that person, they take it directly to management or a "higher up" while the offender may have no idea they even did anything. For example, so and so will hear so and so say something that they felt should not be said at the nurse's station, and instead of taking the issue to them directly they go to the floor manager (didn't happen to me, but I saw it happen).

To me it's cowardly and unprofessional. If you have an issue with someone or something they did, take it to them first and let them know exactly why it's an issue. The majority of the time most issue could be solved interpersonally without having to involve anyone else. If they continue to do whatever they're doing and it's some kind of policy or rule violation, then is the time to take it to the next level and report it to someone above their head.

There are rare exceptions when the first and best option is to go straight to management, but those are few and far between.

Anyway, this is my long winded way of saying don't be a snitch. If you have a problem with a coworker, be a professional and an adult and try to settle it with them personally and leave anyone else out of it if at all possible. If you try and it doesn't resolve the issue, then take it to the next level. You will be a more respectable coworker and management will probably respect you more too.

[MPKH, BSN, RN]

I agree. I too, have seen this, and unfortunately have experienced this

As an observer, I find it disrespectful to not talk to the person you are having issues with. Is that not the first step in conflict resolution? Many times, people do not realize that what they are doing is wrong unless they are told...and they don't know it's wrong if the person having issues with the person do not speak up.

As a nurse who have been pulled into the office and told that I have complaints against me...it really shaken me. And the complaints are issues that the nurses could have talked to me first, and I'd have fix it then and there.

Unless the issue seriously compromises patient or workplace safety, or repeatedly making the same errors after being told not to, most conflicts can be resolved without going to higher ups.

It is cowardly to go behind other people's backs and report the issue to a higher up without trying to talk to the nurse first.

[xoemmylouox, ASN, RN]

Usually it is someone trying to get or stay buddy-buddy with management.

[CryssieD]

I agree that this is a type of cowardice; that said, not everyone has the confidence in his/her communication skills to address things directly with people. Unfortunately, having to deal with interpersonal conflicts and communication issues is one of the many joys of management, and most people prefer to dump it in the manager's lap rather than muster up the gumption to handle it themselves. Something to bring up at the next staff meeting, maybe? It may be worth a try--sometimes, if people know that you would prefer to hear it from them directly, they find it easier to go to you before running to the boss.

[Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN]

I agree. But, just to play a bit of Devil's Advocate here, many people do not have the tools or comfort level with direct, face to face communication. If you want to have a workplace where people address issues with one another rather than taking minor issues to management, this type of culture has to be nurtured.

[malamud69, BSN, RN]

Ah yes....sadly Kohlberg was right...most people are stuck in pre -conventional morality...middle school mentality.

[proud nurse, BSN, RN]

I have always preferred a direct approach because I think it makes sense to talk to the person most responsible for the issue. However, some people try to avoid confrontation at all costs. Perhaps they feel management has more experience with resolving issues than they do, and it's their job. I don't know, I'm just guessing because running to the boss first is not my style. I agree it's immature to tattle on a coworker for something that might only require one simple conversation with that person. And you can end up having respect for them instead of hard feelings.

[Pangea Reunited, ASN, RN]

Let the whiners whine. These are people you can't have a face to face discussion with because they end up crying.

Management knows which employees are always trying to stir things up. I don't think management appreciates having to deal with petty disagreements, either.

[Libby1987]

I agree. But, just to play a bit of Devil's Advocate here, many people do not have the tools or comfort level with direct, face to face communication. If you want to have a workplace where people address issues with one another rather than taking minor issues to management, this type of culture has to be nurtured.

Yes, that's the only way the team culture will change. And it takes everyone's efforts including those of us who are irritated by our coworkers going to mgmt for minor issues.

[caliotter3]

Some people go to management straightforward because their goal has something to do with impressing management or garnering favor with management, and not with dealing with some perceived problem with another employee. They may care so little about the "problem" with the coworker that they go to the trouble of conjuring the "problem" itself, clearly out of their own imagination, hoping that management eats up their little snitch session with glowing accolades, or whatever it is they are really seeking.

[Rose_Queen, BSN, MSN, RN]

That's what I love about my management: if you haven't directly addressed the person yourself (excepting serious policy violations/threats of violence, etc), you are actually told to try to work it out with the person yourself before involving management in the situation. Maybe one of the downsides of all this technology available is that people no longer have the communication skills to handle face-to-face interpersonal conflict without involving others.

[madwife2002, BSN, RN]

Moved thread to Nurse colleagues/ patient relationship