Back in 2004-2005, I worked as an agency LPN. Work was plentiful, pay was great, and life was good. So good, I sometimes had to turn down shifts. Then the new year rang in. My agency called me with available shifts from one nursing home I went to a lot. I booked 15 shifts for the month of January. She called me back the next day to tell me shifts were canceled. "Which ones?", I asked. She replied "all of them." I found agency work to be flexible and undependable. I haven't worked agency since then.
OP, I understand your writing style. Trying to give it a humorous tone, when it actually can be a dark time for those trying to make it work. Agency Girl sounds like a few nurses I've known personally.