Workplace Cowardice

Nurses Relations

Published

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people have an issue with what someone else does and before addressing it with that person, they take it directly to management or a "higher up" while the offender may have no idea they even did anything. For example, so and so will hear so and so say something that they felt should not be said at the nurse's station, and instead of taking the issue to them directly they go to the floor manager (didn't happen to me, but I saw it happen).

To me it's cowardly and unprofessional. If you have an issue with someone or something they did, take it to them first and let them know exactly why it's an issue. The majority of the time most issue could be solved interpersonally without having to involve anyone else. If they continue to do whatever they're doing and it's some kind of policy or rule violation, then is the time to take it to the next level and report it to someone above their head.

There are rare exceptions when the first and best option is to go straight to management, but those are few and far between.

Anyway, this is my long winded way of saying don't be a snitch. If you have a problem with a coworker, be a professional and an adult and try to settle it with them personally and leave anyone else out of it if at all possible. If you try and it doesn't resolve the issue, then take it to the next level. You will be a more respectable coworker and management will probably respect you more too.

Op, you are being the "snitch" by telling on these nurses to the 24,000 nurses on this site at the moment.

Grow up, seriously.

And remember, "Snitches take out stitches"

Did you just threaten the OP?

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Long Term Acute Care, TCU.
Did you just threaten the OP?

Snitches

take

out

STITCHES (those little things that help to approximate wounds)

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Critical Care/Vascular Access.
Op, you are being the "snitch" by telling on these nurses to the 24,000 nurses on this site at the moment.

Grow up, seriously.

And remember, "Snitches take out stitches"

Telling on someone, or snitching (I'm not sure why some of you are so caught up on that word), would be to call someone out by name behind their back, not make a generalized and public suggestion to a group of people that they behave in a more constructive way.

I don't even know why some of you are all wadded up over me suggesting that people be mature enough to talk to each other face to face. I'm guessing that I'm coming across to you as arrogant and bigoted so I need to be put in my place or something?

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Critical Care/Vascular Access.
Snitches

take

out

STITCHES (those little things that help to approximate wounds)

You do know what that quote means, right? and why canigraduate perceived it as a threat?

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Telling on someone, or snitching (I'm not sure why some of you are so caught up on that word), would be to call someone out by name behind their back, not make a generalized and public suggestion to a group of people that they behave in a more constructive way.

I don't even know why some of you are all wadded up over me suggesting that people be mature enough to talk to each other face to face. I'm guessing that I'm coming across to you as arrogant and bigoted so I need to be put in my place or something?

I am confused, too. The post you quoted seems to be coming from somewhere out in left field. "Snitches take out stitches?" After they've been beat up? I don't get it.

I think you are right and people should come to you with their issues instead of doing an end run around to the manager. However, I believe you should think about alternative motives other than cowardice. Some have been taught/raised differently, some are shy, some are incapable of handling conflict. Some are passive-aggressive and need to be handled.

Also, some self-reflection may be in order, so you can be sure that the problem does not come from the way you present yourself.

And, no, you sound neither arrogant nor bigoted, but trinitymaster is coming across as bizarre.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I've worked on floors/units where the team felt safe and welcome to speak directly to each other, and units where the first you heard of an issue is from the manager. The former team felt a lot more confidence and trust, as a team, than the latter, that's for sure.

I also noticed that staff to staff 'feedback' was taken more seriously, and with a lot less offense, than manager-given criticism. For the reasons already give by the OP and others.

I don't like confrontation, never have, but this does not give me special dispensation to go to the manager over something I could simply discuss with the other staff. If it was annoying personal behavior, I realized I had the choice to ignore it unless it impacted patient care, which it did not always do.

Why don't we put the 'team' and its' cohesiveness first? I have to agree that competitiveness drives too much of the tattling to the manager. A cohesive sense of team is prevention for unnecessary interpersonal crap. Unfortunately all it takes is one or two outspoken nurses bent on competition to undermine the whole -- especially if the manager lacks experience or fails to deal with his/her own reluctance to confront. This was the problem with my last job. The manager was in school for her graduate degree, and REALLY just wanted everyone to get along :D she hated the conflict, she admitted as much to me. It made her want to hide under her desk.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

My point is, if a co-worker is at a place where their behavior is affecting the way I do my job, I am not sure what adult professional would have "no idea" that they are being offensive, unprofessional, rude, and I really can't think of any other thing that would warrant a talking to by me or anyone else for that matter.

"I find your behavior rude and offensive" or "professional feedback" is a sure way to then have a co-worker on a defensive. We all have different ways of doing the same thing. That my way is better than your way is debatable, and I am all for "what do you think about changing up how we handle Rm 574" is very different than "when you raise your voice to me at the nurse's station I find it offensive and rude". The later resulting in nothing (and the type of person who behaves this way is NOT usually open to constructive criticism or feedback) but then creating drama where there should be none.

Managers who encourage nurses (or other professionals) to talk out interpersonal conflicts are, in my opinion, turfing difficult conversations with less than stellar examples of professionalism into someone else's lap. I can't control someone's behavior, nor change it. Managers can with their protocol, or how they see fit.

And as a complete side note, who the heck has time to get all worked up about conversations/behaviors/actions of other nurses that don't directly affect one's self and the care they provide patients? That would be personalizing things that don't need to be in someone's work life.

And yes, I do admit that the word "snitch" is condescending, immature, and just not relevant to adult working professionals.

Personally, I do the best I can with the patient load presented to me. I am busy, don't have time for childish nonsense, and should I encounter it, have little patience to play the "you need to change your attitude" game. Not my issue, not my problem, and I don't hire moonbats who can't behave themselves and do a job. A manager does. Therefore, they need to deal with whomever they hire.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Psych.

I am sorry but who uses a word like snitch these days: any person who maintains such a word in their lexicon should not be confronted, but reported. The use of the word "snitch" reflects a mentality that is unprofessional and threatening and I would not work in any facility that allowed the use of the word in the vernacular.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Critical Care/Vascular Access.
I am sorry but who uses a word like snitch these days: any person who maintains such a word in their lexicon should not be confronted, but reported. The use of the word "snitch" reflects a mentality that is unprofessional and threatening and I would not work in any facility that allowed the use of the word in the vernacular.

It was an intentionally juvenile word to represent juvenile behavior. Sorry that choice of words has so many people hung up that they're missing the point.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Critical Care/Vascular Access.
I am confused, too. The post you quoted seems to be coming from somewhere out in left field. "Snitches take out stitches?" After they've been beat up? I don't get it.

I think you are right and people should come to you with their issues instead of doing an end run around to the manager. However, I believe you should think about alternative motives other than cowardice. Some have been taught/raised differently, some are shy, some are incapable of handling conflict. Some are passive-aggressive and need to be handled.

Also, some self-reflection may be in order, so you can be sure that the problem does not come from the way you present yourself.

And, no, you sound neither arrogant nor bigoted, but trinitymaster is coming across as bizarre.

To clarify the quote, another way I have seen it said is "snitches get stitches". In other words, if you are a "snitch" then you're going to end up getting your ass beat (i.e. getting stitches). The person that brought up that quote first accused me of being a snitch, then made the snitches/stitches comment, implying I was going to pay for being a snitch on snitches. ha. The hang up on this word is getting a little ridiculous. I just used a childish word to describe childish behavior.

I agree different people have been raised with different conflict resolution skills. That's a fair point. I would still maintain that we all have to learn new interpersonal and conflict resolutions skills as we move through different social environments, and turning your battles over to someone else every time it's uncomfortable to deal with it yourself is a weakness, in my opinion.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Psych.

The word "snitch" is not juvenile. It connotes that a person has betrayed a group to which they have currently or previously pledged allegiance. It also implies retribution for betrayal.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Critical Care/Vascular Access.

I feel like a lot of people are missing the point I was trying to make.

I'm not saying every time someone rustles your feathers to puff out your chest and confront them or call them out. I'm also well aware that there are people out there that no matter how diplomatically you approach them, they are unable for whatever reason to be level headed people. These are the exceptions I was referring to.

BUT I do believe some people far to often use management as a security blanket, and no I do not believe it is their job to spend a significant amount of time sorting out interpersonal nonsense amongst their staff.

Another aspect of this is simply to not let so many things get under your skin. Aside from breaking rules and policies or hindering patient care, so much of workplace drama could be avoided by simply not making a big deal of little things.

Maybe using examples would make things a little more clear as to what I'm referring to.

Example 1 (of poorly handled situation): night shift, a few nurses at a quiet point in the night having a casual conversation at the desk at a reasonably low volume. No patients or family within earshot. I forgot the topic of conversation, but one of the nurses PARTICIPATING in the conversation went to the manager the next morning and complained about the other nurses who had brought up the conversation.

Example 2 (of properly handled situation): nurse 1 had been handling a a very sick and difficult patient all night and called the doctor multiple times and been actively handling the situation. Nurse 2 comes in halfway through the shift, oblivious to what was going on and proceeds to seemingly try to take over the situation, butting nurse 1 out of the way and even starting to page a doctor over something that had already been addressed. Nurse 1 was obviously frustrated and annoyed, but waited until an appropriate time, pulled nurse 2 aside and explained what had been happening with the patient and that she felt nurse 2 was trying to take over the situation when she already had it under control. Nurse 2 had no idea that she had come across this way, and was genuinely just trying to help. Both came to a better understanding of the situation, nurse 1 appreciated nurse 2 more for trying to help after she realized that's what nurse 2 was actually doing, and nurse 2 appreciated nurse 1 for being clear about how she was coming across. Both learned from the situation.

On the other hand, had nurse 1 kept it inside and been frustrated all night and then instead gone to the manager the next morning and complained that nurse 2 was all up in her business, then nurse 2 probably would have gotten a slap on the hand for what, in her mind, was just her trying to help out a coworker.

Example 3 (of poorly handled situation): a patient needs a central line. Anesthesiology is called in because a PICC line couldn't be done. Doctor shows up and the nurse gets his stuff together and asks him if he needs anything else (knowing that each doctor prefers different levels of help from the nurse for this kind of thing). Doctor says no and finishes the central line then asks the same nurse where the charge nurse is, then proceeds to complain to the charge nurse that his nurse didn't help him out and stand with him in the room. The nurse wasn't being lazy, and would have had no problem helping him, and had even ASKED HIM if he needed help. Instead, the doctor stews in the room and gets frustrated then unnecessarily takes it to the charge nurse when it could have very simply been resolved at the very beginning, or after the fact even he could have simply told the nurse that in the future he likes to be assisted from beginning to end.

Those are the kinds of things I'm talking about, not getting up in people's face and starting drama.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment