Why are nurses so backbiting?

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I see it in the hospital. I see the "keep your head down and don't ever correct a teacher" and I've seen it in my current place of work. Why does it seem that nurses want to one up each other or socially isolate people? Do you see what I see?

Chicks don't hate chicks and want to hang out with guys for a reason.

At least as a guy I can have an issue with someone. I call them a #%#!!%!%#*&$. Punch them. Then get over it and share a beer with them.

The ladies seem to prefer "backbiting" and sneaky underhanded BS.

Chicks don't hate chicks.

What century do you live in, Daddy-O?

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

THIS lady is direct and honest. I don't have to hit people to get my point across and I also don't have to back bite to get by. Ruger, quit generalizing. It's unfair and untrue in most cases. And IF women assert themselves, historically they have been knows as b---- and disregarded. Most were brought up to be "nice" and "ladylike" but with few alternatives on how to handle conflict.

But it's not all women and I have been in the military where it was majority men, and saw PLENTY of drama there.

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Specializes in CRNA, Finally retired.
it seems that way because Nursing is primarily occupied by women.

Oppresses men behave the same way. Why do we allow ourselves to become oppressed in the first place?

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I'm using the word cudgel today.

cudgel=extremely large syringe

:nailbiting:

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

Oppressed men have historically either raised revolutions or started wars, killing people that piss them off.

How's THAT for generalizing?

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Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.

One time, I was complaining to my boyfriend of the uselessness of unit staff meetings. The manager set the agenda, ran the meeting and was dismissive toward anyone who spoke up (like me). My BF asked me, in all seriousness, why I didn't start screaming and banging on the table in those meetings. I told him because I would be promptly taken to task for such a behavioural outburst and would never have any credibility again. His response: "Really?" Apparently, men respect such behaviour from other men.

So when people talk about how men vs women respond to workplace stressors, they really don't get that the double standard is alive and well. Another thing we've all learned from this forum: there is no shortage of holier-than-thou types who are desperate to feel superior. The buzz-kills that come on every vent thread to chide us for our lack of compassion - those are the ones ratting us off for ordering pizza. They thrive in an environment where that kind of behaviour is supported. (Haven't seen too many on AN lately; are they finally getting the message?)

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Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.
Chicks don't hate chicks and want to hang out with guys for a reason.

At least as a guy I can have an issue with someone. I call them a #%#!!%!%#*&$. Punch them. Then get over it and share a beer with them.

The ladies seem to prefer "backbiting" and sneaky underhanded BS.

What a bunch of poppycock.

I work pretty much exclusively with women (OB) and I adore pretty much every one. Other than my husband, the people I choose to hang out with are women.

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Specializes in Telemetry.

Sure there are differences between men and women. But I don't think of it as one gender being superior to the other. In nursing I've enjoyed almost all my coworkers - and it wasn't due to gender that I liked or disliked someone.

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Specializes in critical care.
THIS lady is direct and honest. I don't have to hit people to get my point across and I also don't have to back bite to get by. Ruger, quit generalizing. It's unfair and untrue in most cases. And IF women assert themselves, historically they have been knows as b---- and disregarded. Most were brought up to be "nice" and "ladylike" but with few alternatives on how to handle conflict.

But it's not all women and I have been in the military where it was majority men, and saw PLENTY of drama there.

I love this comment.

I am one of those women who have had people express negative opinions when I've been assertive or concise when making a point.

You might like this article - https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/compost/wp/2015/10/13/jennifer-lawrence-has-a-point-famous-quotes-the-way-a-woman-would-have-to-say-them-during-a-meeting/

There is so much truth to it. A woman is supposed to be demure and apologetic, but a man is expected to be the opposite. In fact, a man might be hazed with stereotypical gender role-related insults if he were always demure and apologetic.

I find in nursing, concise and assertive are appreciated and frequently required. I love this. I also warn newbie orientees who accompany me during codes - people are going to sound like they're barking orders. They will speak in a way that might feel abrasive and harsh. It's not, I promise, and nothing that happens in a code is taken personally or meant offensively. That communication style is necessary.

Perhaps that is what creates the feeling of "backbiting". The communication styles are socially not appropriate for women, and women take the comments made personally. Men, however, have always communicated this way.

As a side note, in property management, all the drama came from the men, and it was horrible. I have never seen people actively try so hard to get others fired.

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Specializes in LTC.

Yes it happens. In my Per Diem job (LTC) it's not tolerated. Ever. Excellent supportive management and awesome nurses who love what they do. I kinda thought NETY was imagined as this was my first nursing job. 6 months in I got what I thought was an amazing offer, and I jumped on it, now I have a second, newer, full time job. In my newer hospital outpatient specially office job it's rampant. It's tolerated. They haven't been able to keep nurses in that office longer than a few months, the ones who stick it out to six months do so to transfer to the hospital floor, or offices where it doesn't go on. The management in the office is weak, period. The nurses who've been there several months and are miserably biding time to leave, treat anyone coming in as they were treated, and so on. The providers are stressed to the max, and put that stress on the nurses, it's a cycle. Nobody steps up to stop it. It's frustrating. I'm dealing with it until I hit eligibility to transfer, then I'm leaving too. I, however, am a bit older and have more work (not nursing) experience than the other nurses I work with, so I have no intention of treating whoever I train to replace me eventually poorly.

All that being said, it's stress and weak management causing the crap behavior, not specifically the fact that we are nurses.

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Again... Have you ever lived, worked with firemen?

EMT in addition to being a nurse. We share a building and office space with the firemen (and do all of our fundraisers together). They will pretty much be in a fistfight one minute, then drinking together the next.

:)

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EMT in addition to being a nurse. We asshats a building and office space with the firemen (and do all of our fundraisers together). They will pretty much be in a fistfight one minute, then drinking together the next.

:)

And continue to gossip and whine when the other one turns his back. Fistfights and beer don't negate the petty BS. It just accentuates it.

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