Why are nurses so backbiting?

Elladora · Dec 31, 2015

You think men are better? Ever been to a fire department?

Yeah but men get mad, argue or fight a bit, then get over it. Women not so much. (Usually anyway).

Farawyn · Dec 31, 2015

Yeah but men get mad, argue or fight a bit, then get over it. Women not so much. (Usually anyway).

Again... Have you ever lived, worked with firemen? They can't even get through a softball game. I've been around firemen since 1989 and I've never seen such brats.

99% male.

And they suck at softball.

StillRN · Dec 31, 2015

Thete is truth in the saying nurses eat their young! Every hospital I've worked in has been rampant with cliques, catty, backstabbers. It's as if they feel it will make them look better if they report the horrendous wrong doings of others. For example.. I was once called in because someone complained that I said I would only care for cute babies... not ugly ones... ummmm...really? Once for ordering a pizza with a Co worker.. we were scolded for not including everyone and how we ate it in the dirty utility room.... GROSSS!!!!!!! I could go on and on.

But I do agree that management has a huge part in condoning...if not encouraging this behavior. I worked on a floor with 3 separate depts...L&D, mom/baby,and nicu... their was fierce hostility and tension between the 3 areas...and ll claiming the others were favored and had to do less work. This created huge barriers and lots of tatteling.. management told me those people who come forward have courage and should be admired. ..Ratner than encouraging professionals to work out problems on their own as we are taught in nursing svchool. It was a nightmare.

Farawyn · Dec 31, 2015

Why did you eat pizza in the dirty utility room?

klone, MSN, RN · Dec 31, 2015

I love dirty utility pizza.

CamillusRN, BSN · Dec 31, 2015

Don't see it where I work. I love my coworkers.

Same here - I work with some pretty awesome peeps.

CamillusRN, BSN · Dec 31, 2015

I'm using the word cudgel today.

It's a good word. Fun to say, too ...

CamillusRN, BSN · Dec 31, 2015

I love dirty utility pizza.

"Ummmm - I don't remember ordering anchovies ... Oh."

juliah ngugi · Dec 31, 2015

#RNBSN1591 av heard of that and my friends who are #freshers in the ward complain

.

OldGrayNurse · Dec 31, 2015

I've been an LTC nurse for almost 30 years. I've worked with the NETY attitude; I've worked without it. I've worked restaurant server, factory, and other non-nursing jobs pre-nursing school that had the same attitudes of what the OP called "backbiting".

I don't think it's exclusive to nursing, but nursing IS one of those career fields that happen to be overwhelmingly same sex. As a female (please don't sic the NOW on me) I can say looking back, I do feel women seem to have this attitude more than men do. And women seem to have a "pack" mentality, IMO, more than men do. The men I worked with were aggressive, full of themselves and testosterone, sure; but they did whatever they had to do face to face, confrontation-style, and then got over it. The women I've worked with were more sneaky, snarky, waaaaay more dramatic and could hold grudges for AGES before letting something go. Whether it's in the genetic makeup, learned behaviors, etc., it's something I never practiced or understood. If I've got a problem, my tendency is to "hash it out" honestly and quickly, and move on. I can't tell you how many times I've been ostracized for not participating in gossip, or for not ganging up on a certain co-worker because "she hurt my friends' feelings" or got what others thought was an undeserved promotion, etc.

I do believe management style has everything to do with it, and where I am now, laissez-faire is the name of the game and the backbiting, snarking, throw each other under the bus mentality is RAMPANT. If I were still a floor nurse, and not working in admin, I would not be here. But I have an office I can escape to, an office co-worker who is similar to me (tries to stay away from all that) and that makes it bearable. Management has been asked several times to address this, but cannot, basically because she is one of them. She is paranoid someone wants her job, terrified someone more qualified and skilled will replace her, and so she lets the floor nurses and staff basically do whatever they want, and then runs to "put out fires" because it makes her feel more secure that she'll keep her job for addressing issues (that she created in the first place, lol). She actively promotes disharmony, because she has nurses that will go to her and deliver all the floor gossip and keep things stirred up so that she can get personally involved and "solve problems". None of the floor nurses work together; they even do petty things like deliberately call in when they know they will be working with a certain person, or ignore family members whose resident is assigned to the other nurse on that floor who is at lunch, away from the hall, etc. :woot:

I think our DON does this because it gives her job security. :up: (Who would want to be DON for a bunch of nurses who call in whenever they want, do whatever they want, and are never punished for it?) :no:

I didn't mean to turn this into a "you think you've got it bad" personal story. Just venting I guess. And, yes, the posts are full of these kinds of stories. What's the answer? I don't profess to know; but I wish someone would pull my administrators head out of the sand and his butt out of his office and show him all the stuff going on. But, as they say, "There are none so blind as those who refuse to look." :bugeyes:

Lulu Belle, RN, EMT-B · Dec 31, 2015

You think men are better? Ever been to a fire department?

Ha! SO true!!! They are princesses.

Ruger8mm · Dec 31, 2015

Chicks don't hate chicks and want to hang out with guys for a reason.

At least as a guy I can have an issue with someone. I call them a #%#!!%!%#*&$. Punch them. Then get over it and share a beer with them.

The ladies seem to prefer "backbiting" and sneaky underhanded BS.