Why Do Nurses Eat Their Own?

As current times have shown, we're short staffed. Administration wants to make money. So cuts are made to equipment and man power. Who has your back? Who can you rely on? Your fellow nurses? I'm not so sure anymore. Why do we as nurses eat our own when we should be teaching them and guarding them as our own. The fact is as we age our young nurses are going to be taking care of us, but there are those all too eager beavers who will in fact burn you. This is my experience. Nurses Announcements Archive Article

This is my own personal experience as to why nurses eat their own? I have been in nursing for 20+ years. I've watched a lot of nurses come and go and some trying to move up that corporate food chain leaving a path of destruction a mile wide in their path. It's a very sad thing to have witnessed nursing go from a caring environment to a volatile, stressful, "me" environment.

I personally have never thrown anyone under the bus but I have been thrown under the bus by a nurse trying to move up. I was shocked, not to be naive but how callus and calculating this nurse had become in such a short period of time. She was a new grad. I took her under my wing, taught her in a specialty area just to be told shortly thereafter that there were going to be cuts in this area, and I was one of the people being cut along with approximately 20 more nurses. I then found out that my underling I had taught was at the helm of helping administration make these cuts based on who had been there longest, made the most per hour and new grads or new hires would be cheaper. So it was done and my underling moved up to an office of ease while the rest of us were dispersed throughout the facility or some even let go destroying lives and careers.

Once moved to another area of the facility I witnessed a male nurse dating several other female nurses turning them against each other and ending up dating a charge nurse that was best friends with the manager of that department, so they were allowed to cuddle up at the nurses' station and pretty much did nothing else other than sneak outside. Yes all of this was reported by others than myself, however administration didn't care, bottom line was man hours not pt care.

I've since left that facility after many years. I am now at a new facility and have already picked up on the "eager" young nurses more than willing to talk behind other nurses' backs. This is disappointing. The nursing school and instructors of old that I had the privilege of going to and being taught by would be appalled and would not have tolerated for one moment. Is loyalty, character and earning your title without harming something taught in nursing schools? Should certain psychiatric characters be red flags for school administrators be implemented to prevent cannibalism within nursing?

I feel as if those great women who pioneered nursing to care for the sick, indigent and wounded would be so saddened by the "General Hospital", "Grays Anatomy"; "high school acting" nurses of today. On that note I don't want to diminish the fact that nurses have to be go-getters, usually type A, hungry for knowledge; however there's a professional line where we should have each other's back.

Nurses go to college to achieve a degree of higher learning along with all the nursing classes. You're professionals, intellectuals. Would you compromise your name, integrity and reputation for a easier schedule, a desk job, an office? All you have to do is help relocate or terminate 20 to 25 fellow nurses?

I am curious to the opinions of others, so please post. BTW this underling was moved back down the food chain and eventually out the door and with no friends or references to rely on now.

Before going down this road ask yourself. Why did I become a nurse? To help others who need it or to eat my young? If you answer or turn into the later, I fear you may be in the wrong profession...

shelleypc said:
Well, I have been hearing the same stories for 36 years. It has nothing to do with being overworked, understaffed or any other sad excuse. Years ago we we did not face these issues and nurses were still eating their young! I think it is a power thing, bullies and the need to be superior!

I don't know that I agree with NETY claims but I work for a smaller company so maybe I'm just in a bubble. What I do know and agree with is that claims of NETY is nothing new. Back in the day of fee for service, name your field and price, respect for healthcare providers, low acuities and people having week long stays for a simple hysterectomy (see my post about pink jammie's and cosmetic bags and long lunches etc) this was going on and/or being claimed.

What is the common denominator between then and now? The same personalities and gender majority drawn to nursing.

banterings said:
JimmyDurham9 offer evidence to back his assertions, many others on this thread only offer anecdotes and emotions.

The plural of anecdote is NOT data...

I was offering my own opinion and experience, but thanks for the bold, banterings.

What's your experience with NETO?

Specializes in Palliative, Onc, Med-Surg, Home Hospice.
elkpark said:

(For someone who's so critical of other nurses bullying and being nasty to peers, you're managing to be plenty nasty and bullying yourself ...)

My thoughts exactly!

I had a co-worker who, thank goodness, only lasted a year on our floor. She transferred to another unit (her second transfer in 2 years, which should start saying something to HR). Her reason for transferring: She was being bullied. the mean nurses who had been working on the floor didn't like her and they made her life a living hell.

Here is her idea of bullying: Being told that we do NOT call a rapid response on a patient who is comfort measures, and then refusing to back her up when she still did.

Claiming that there was a clique on the unit but hiding herself in the corner and ignoring every attempt at friendship. We are tight knit ( you have to be at night) and we have a pot luck every couple of weeks. She was asked if she wanted to join, and it was always no.

Claiming no one would help her. When we get an admission, we all pitch in to get it done. She would get an admission and we would ask what she needed to have done. Her standard response was always "i'm good" or "Can you medicate this patient for me". Then get mad when we explained we had to medicate our own patients.

She started running to the manager about how we were so mean to her. when that failed to get us to do her work for her, she ran to HR> That led to 4 nurses getting written up and the unit having to go to lateral violence classes.

She would come on and start complaining about how awful the floor was, and how we never wanted to help her. Those few times that we did help, it was thrown up in our faces.

She ran to the manager to tell him that a nurse almost killed her patient. That a rapid should have been called on the patient sooner. The manager ate it up and another nurse was written up. the patient in question, had been assessed by not only the nurse but seen by the MD (he was on top of things, had called the MD when he noticed problems) about an hour before the rapid was called.

She wrote up incident reports on nurses, doctors, transporters, housekeeping. A lot of them.

She transferred a patient to another unit without a doctors order. then got the charge nurse to write the order (because she was so busy) which resulted in the charge nurse getting written up.

Her final week, she went around to a few of the nurses, and told them they had giant targets on their backs. That so-and-so was talking about them behind their back, or that someone else told her that this happened and it was all this others persons fault. She did everything she would to deflect blame and issues.

After she left, we all realized how bad it had actually become. We were the ones who were being bullied. But, because she knew how to manipulate things, she came out smelling like a rose.

Except, she is having the exact same issues on her new unit (3rd unit in 2 years). HR and management are waking up to her.

Sometimes, the one who yells the loudest about issues is the cause of said issues.

FTR: I have seen bullying on my unit. One my co-workers, when she was new, was bullied by a nurse on the opposite shift. We saw it, the opposite shift saw it and something was done. Amazingly enough, it was the same manager in the above story (who has since left the facility) who recognized it for what it was. That she was unable to recognize the other case of bullying still amuses me. What's even worse is that the manager was reported to HR by this this and still missed it.

So yes, bullying does happen. However, sometimes, the person who complains about bullying is actually the bully. Playing the victim card all the time can be a red flag.

Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

There have been copious edits and deletions in this thread in an effort to keep it on topic and civil. This is a hot topic but we still need to adhere to the terms of service...PLEASE!

Thanks everyone.

Farawyn said:
I was offering my own opinion and experience, but thanks for the bold, banterings.

What's your experience with NETO?

I have found the phenomenon to be the root cause of some bad event in one of my clients. Even when investigating, they continually undermined each other. I have also experienced it in some cases when I was getting daily updates on patients.

Other than that, my position is high enough that others are left to deal with the issue. I hear the stories of what it was like getting the information I was looking for or the hurdles in carrying out my directions.

Karma is a witch.

Specializes in Registered Nurse.

I hear ya...even though I never cared much about climbing the ladders or those that did. I can see how it would be annoying to be trampled on by someone trying to get up it fast. I am just happy that one day, some day...I will leave this nursing world! It ain't what it used to be! I have nightmares about some of the people I know taking care of me...yikes!

Specializes in Ambulatory Care, LTC, OB, CCU, Occ Hth.
banterings said:
JimmyDurham9 offer evidence to back his assertions, many others on this thread only offer anecdotes and emotions.

The plural of anecdote is NOT data...

Another problem with our profession and society in general is "head in the sand" mentality. Who needs evidence when you can arbitrarily cherry pick isolated incidences out of context and dig your heels in?

Specializes in Ambulatory Care, LTC, OB, CCU, Occ Hth.
CelticGoddess said:
elkpark said:
(For someone who's so critical of other nurses bullying and being nasty to peers, you're managing to be plenty nasty and bullying yourself ...)

My thoughts exactly!

I had a co-worker who, thank goodness, only lasted a year on our floor. She transferred to another unit (her second transfer in 2 years, which should start saying something to HR). Her reason for transferring: She was being bullied. the mean nurses who had been working on the floor didn't like her and they made her life a living hell.

Here is her idea of bullying: Being told that we do NOT call a rapid response on a patient who is comfort measures, and then refusing to back her up when she still did.

Claiming that there was a clique on the unit but hiding herself in the corner and ignoring every attempt at friendship. We are tight knit ( you have to be at night) and we have a pot luck every couple of weeks. She was asked if she wanted to join, and it was always no.

Claiming no one would help her. When we get an admission, we all pitch in to get it done. She would get an admission and we would ask what she needed to have done. Her standard response was always "i'm good" or "Can you medicate this patient for me". Then get mad when we explained we had to medicate our own patients.

She started running to the manager about how we were so mean to her. when that failed to get us to do her work for her, she ran to HR> That led to 4 nurses getting written up and the unit having to go to lateral violence classes.

She would come on and start complaining about how awful the floor was, and how we never wanted to help her. Those few times that we did help, it was thrown up in our faces.

She ran to the manager to tell him that a nurse almost killed her patient. That a rapid should have been called on the patient sooner. The manager ate it up and another nurse was written up. the patient in question, had been assessed by not only the nurse but seen by the MD (he was on top of things, had called the MD when he noticed problems) about an hour before the rapid was called.

She wrote up incident reports on nurses, doctors, transporters, housekeeping. A lot of them.

She transferred a patient to another unit without a doctors order. then got the charge nurse to write the order (because she was so busy) which resulted in the charge nurse getting written up.

Her final week, she went around to a few of the nurses, and told them they had giant targets on their backs. That so-and-so was talking about them behind their back, or that someone else told her that this happened and it was all this others persons fault. She did everything she would to deflect blame and issues.

After she left, we all realized how bad it had actually become. We were the ones who were being bullied. But, because she knew how to manipulate things, she came out smelling like a rose.

Except, she is having the exact same issues on her new unit (3rd unit in 2 years). HR and management are waking up to her.

Sometimes, the one who yells the loudest about issues is the cause of said issues.

FTR: I have seen bullying on my unit. One my co-workers, when she was new, was bullied by a nurse on the opposite shift. We saw it, the opposite shift saw it and something was done. Amazingly enough, it was the same manager in the above story (who has since left the facility) who recognized it for what it was. That she was unable to recognize the other case of bullying still amuses me. What's even worse is that the manager was reported to HR by this this and still missed it.

So yes, bullying does happen. However, sometimes, the person who complains about bullying is actually the bully. Playing the victim card all the time can be a red flag.

Let me get this straight; are you actually saying that the individuals who come forward with concerns about bullying are the problem? That follows the same logic that the victim of rape was "asking for it."

CelticGoddess said:

Let me get this straight; are you actually saying that the individuals who come forward with concerns about bullying are the problem? That follows the same logic that the victim of rape was "asking for it."

What? How did you get that from her post?

She stated that claims of bullying are sometimes false.

Specializes in Ambulatory Care, LTC, OB, CCU, Occ Hth.
elkpark said:
This is actually how a lot of nurses see the ANA (how they have experienced it over time).

The ANA is fighting for nurses like you and like me; pretty much every nurse. Staffing ratios? We've taken it to legislators, we're fighting for you all.

Improved educational programs? We're fighting for that and collaborating with leaders in the field to solve problems. No one is trying to manipulate anyone.

If more nurses were involved, and actually collaborated to solve problems instead of just point them out, way more can be done.

And at a risk of sounding snarky, jargon is part of nursing. You can only be manipulated by jargon if you opt for ignorance, and don't learn the terms necessary to perform your jobs. If you're not comfortable with understanding it, then please take a class or continuing education course to get comfortable with medical terminology.

Specializes in Ambulatory Care, LTC, OB, CCU, Occ Hth.

"Sometimes, the one who yells the loudest about issues is the cause of said issues."

"So yes, bullying does happen. However, sometimes, the person who complains about bullying is actually the bully."

That's where I got that from her post, which is why I was asking if I had what she was saying straight. I asked her to clarify what she meant.