I had a funny, frustrating call at work today that was too good not to share. I changed the names, but the rest of it is factual. I'm still debating whether or not it was a prank, or someone was really truly having difficulty. This is between myself and another staff member (receptionist, no less):
THEM - "Hi, do you have a private caregiver over there?"
ME - "No, I don't."
THEM - "No, do you have a patient with a private caregiver? I have Betty Smith here in front of me."
ME - "Is she the caregiver?"
THEM - "Yes, she's from Helpers."
ME - "I don't know of anyone here who uses a private caregiver."
THEM - "No, she's here looking for her."
ME - "She's looking for the caregiver?"
THEM - "No, she's looking for the patient."
ME - "Who's the patient?"
THEM - "Betty Smith. "
ME - "Betty Smith is the patient?"
THEM - "No, she's the caregiver. Is she here?"
ME - "Who?"
THEM - "Betty Smith."
ME - "Is that the caregiver? Betty Smith is the caregiver?"
THEM - "Yes, is she here?"
ME - "Yes, she's standing in front of you."
THEM - "No, the patient. Is she here?"
ME - "What's the name of the patient"?
THEM - "Betty Smith."
ME - "No, she's not here, sorry." *click*
Mind you, this all happened at the end of my shift during shift change, and the chaos at the nurses desk didn't help, but it was still one for the books. What are some odd conversations you've had at work, phone or not?
Me (after thinking for a good, long second): No, I did not. Do you know which extension you need?
Doctor: No.
Me, asking the few nurses in the nearby vicinity: Did you page Dr. Nephrology?
All of the nurses nearby: No
Doctor: Okay, I'll go back to the operator then
(Less than a minute later)
Operator: Hello, this is the operator. I have Dr. Nephrology on the line for you.
Me: I didn't page Dr. Nephrology.
Operator (full of attitude): Well, SOMEONE did.
(Probably about 90 seconds of dead silence. I was waiting for her to say something else, considering it would be a tiny bit crazy for her to think I would know whether any nurse on my floor, let alone the whole building, actually paged him.)
Me: I really didn't page him. I'm sorry.
Apparently I was supposed to be psychic. I did grab the one nurse who wasn't present the first time I asked around. Her extension was different than mine by only one number. Where mine had a 6, hers had a 7. That nurse did page the Doctor. 😲
Oh gosh, I've worked as a ward clerk for 5 years now, I could write a book of strange phone conversations. One of my favorites that happened fairly recently:
Me: Hospital, this is Princess Bubblegum.
Guy: Can you transfer me to the patient in room 608? (Our room numbers are four digits long but they do begin with 6)
Me: Sure, what's the name of the patient you're trying to contact?
Guy: Well, I don't know.
Me: Oh. Okay. Well, I need to know the name of the patient you'd like to speak with, and then I can transfer you to the room.
Guy: The one in 608.
Me: Sir, I--
Guy: The Lord spoke to me this morning and told me I needed to pray for the patient in 608. I don't know who they are. Can I come to the hospital to see the patient in 608?
Me: Sir, I understand but there are laws protecting patient privacy and--
We went back and forth for a while like this.
Guy: I KNOW. BUT GOD TOLD ME I NEED. TO. BE. THERE. I'm leaving my house now. Let me speak to your manager.
Me: Absolutely, please hold.
I was getting freaked out and ultimately ended up transferring the call to the security officer on duty. Security told the guy that our hospital doesn't have a room 608 but the other hospital in town does, so maybe God wanted him to pray for someone there. We never heard back from him.
A phone that they supply us with at work that the patients can dial us directly. We have to put our extensions on the dry erase boards in each room at the beginning of our shift.
Once worked nights, rare for me. Had to call a doc who was asleep for most of the conversation. Talking to myself mainly. I kept yelling Dr. L., did you hear me, and when he finally did respond he went, "Who did you say you are again? Do I know you?"
Very first nursing job, been there a few weeks, assigned to phone triage at cardio office. Names changed to protect the innocent.
Me: Blah Blah Cardio, my name is T-Bird, how can I help you?
Pt: I need to speak to MY doctor NOW!
Me: Can I get your name and DOB?
Pt: My name is Jane Doe. I need Dr. Phillips now!
Me: What is going on?
pt: My BP is up and I'm going out of town tomorrow.
Me: Dr. Phillips is in the OR today but you can see another physician or our NPs have openings today in either office.
Pt: NO! I need DR. Phillips on the phone NOW!!
Me: No, he is in surgery and can't be reached, but any of his partners have access to your ch--
Pt: NO! You call his beeper or have the hospital page him on the PA system!
Me: No, he is in someone's chest cavity, elbow deep in blood, and physcially can not answer the phone.
Pt: So you're refusing to help me? *Click*
Ring Ring
Me: Blah Blah Cardio, my name is T-Bird, how can I help you?
Pt: I just called you. I need Dr. Phillips.
Me: Again, he physically can not come to the phone but you can see any other phys--
Pt: NO!!! *Click*
I talked with the head MD of the group, the founding partner of the facility, and that doctor agreed with me.
Ring Ring
Me: Blah Blah Cardio, my name is --
Pt: I know who you are. I demand to speak with someone who will help me.
Me: Please hold. (I'm asking my coworkers who are staring at me and one actually says it's not her turn on phones)
Me: I apologize, but no one else is available. Please try to take a deep breath so your BP won't get any higher.
Pt: What are YOU going to do for me?
Me: Well, you can come in either office at any time and see any provider, or you can go to the ER Dr. Phillips is at and he can see you there.
Pt: What good will that do?
me: Um, you've been yelling at me for 45 minutes that you need to see him and that is the ony way to see him today since he's covering the OR and ER.
Pt: I'm not happy with your refusal to help me. *Click*
Pt did go to ER and complained about me to the corporate office. I was fired for being "unable to perform the job as expected." So glad I got out of that place.
Had an intoxicated person call the ER, and it got bounced to me. Slurred voice demanding to know if it was true that men had erections when they died. Told him this was not a conversation I was going to have with him, several times, until he yelled he was going to call the local newspaper about how I was not helping him. Said, you do that. click.
Specializes in Medsurg/ICU, Mental Health, Home Health.
One of our administrative assistants was...in left field, so to speak, on a good day. I knew one of my patients had been in the office earlier in the day so I wanted to grab her vitals if she hadn't left. I was also doing a bunch of documentation, so I decided to call out to the reception area to see if she was still in the building (I guess I should I have walked out there myself, in hindsight.)
Me: "Hey, it's DLHW. Is Jane Doe out there? I need her vitals."
Left field man: "Are you looking for a staff member or a patient?"
Me(rolling my eyes): "Patient."
LFM: "On what team?"
Me (starting to get exasperated): "My team, LFM. Team B. This is DLHW!"
LFM: "So you want to speak to a staff member on Team B?"
Me (about to pound my head on the wall): "No, this is one of the nurses on Team B! I'm in my office! I need to know if Jane Doe is in the lobby! I need to see her!"
LFM: "Oh, Jane Doe? Yes, she's out here....did you need her?"
**names have been changed to protect the...not so bright**
Answered the phone in Peds ICU late one night and man wanted to know if he could come visit the patients dressed as a well-know local mascot of an amusement park about 100 miles from the hospital.
Told him no- he would need to arrange through PR, go through a background check etc- that we don't just let anyone onto our unit.
Two hours later (about midnight) HE SHOWS UP dressed as this mascot. We turn him away and make sure security accompanies him out of the building. We are collectively shaking our heads at the desk when a patient's mom walks past and hears us discussing the strangeness of this situation.
Turns out- he was stalking her, she had a protective order against him!
BecomingNursey
334 Posts
I had a patient call me on my ASCOM phone and ask me if I knew the number for a good stripper. 😳