What's the strangest phone conversation you've ever had at work?

[Brekka]

I had a funny, frustrating call at work today that was too good not to share. I changed the names, but the rest of it is factual. I'm still debating whether or not it was a prank, or someone was really truly having difficulty. This is between myself and another staff member (receptionist, no less):

THEM - "Hi, do you have a private caregiver over there?"

ME - "No, I don't."

THEM - "No, do you have a patient with a private caregiver? I have Betty Smith here in front of me."

ME - "Is she the caregiver?"

THEM - "Yes, she's from Helpers."

ME - "I don't know of anyone here who uses a private caregiver."

THEM - "No, she's here looking for her."

ME - "She's looking for the caregiver?"

THEM - "No, she's looking for the patient."

ME - "Who's the patient?"

THEM - "Betty Smith. "

ME - "Betty Smith is the patient?"

THEM - "No, she's the caregiver. Is she here?"

ME - "Who?"

THEM - "Betty Smith."

ME - "Is that the caregiver? Betty Smith is the caregiver?"

THEM - "Yes, is she here?"

ME - "Yes, she's standing in front of you."

THEM - "No, the patient. Is she here?"

ME - "What's the name of the patient"?

THEM - "Betty Smith."

ME - "No, she's not here, sorry." *click*

Mind you, this all happened at the end of my shift during shift change, and the chaos at the nurses desk didn't help, but it was still one for the books. What are some odd conversations you've had at work, phone or not?

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

I was responding to a call on a nurse hot line. Realized the little old lady was deaf as a post, put I REALLY needed make sure she was okay. I knew her son's name was Ralph.

I was pretty much screaming into the phone for RALPH, RALPH, RALPH! My coworker ran into my cube... she thought I was vomiting.

[cardiacfreak, ADN]

Rring, rring!

me: Unit XYZ. This is Cardiacfreak RN, how may I help you?

caller: I'm looking ffor mmyy mother? (Slurred speech)

me: What is your mother's name, Ma'am?

caller: Jane Doe

Now wouldn't you know Jane is a no release of info!

me: I'm sorry we don't have anyone by that name in our system.

caller: Oh my God, I was just there! Do you mean she, she....(caller yells at someone, "John, Mom's dead!).

me: Ma'am, ma'am!

Crying on other end of line.

me: Ma'am, I didn't say your mother died, I said she was not in our system.

caller: When did she die? (More slurring)

me: Ma'am, I said your mother wasn't in our system?

caller: you just said she died!

[rnsrgr8t]

Thought of another one...

I used to work in a pediatrician's practice. We had a work station next to an exam room.

I was on the phone with my mortgage company (I do not remember why).

In the middle of the conversation, the person I was speaking with stopped me mid sentence...

"Ma'am, I am sorry, I have to interrupt you....where are you right now?"

Me (wondering why she is asking me this)" I am at work"

"May I ask where you work?"

Me (again wondering why??) " I work at a pediatrician's practice"

"I am sorry but I have to ask, why is that child screaming? Are they ok? Do you need to help them?"

At that point I realized where I as sitting. I was next to a closed exam room where a kid was getting their immunizations. It was a kindergartner so there was obviously a lot of commotion going on in the room that apparently could be heard over the phone!!

Laughing I said, "OH!!! They are ok, we just had a child who got their immunizations and they are not happy right now. They are being taken care of and it is not my patient!"

"Oh thank goodness! I was listening to that our whole conversation and could not figure out why your child was screaming like that and you were just happily talking to me!!!"

[nrsang97, BSN, RN]

This was a doozy. I worked in an ICU at one point and we had a patient that was going to be a donation after cardiac death. I answer the phone and this is the conversation:

Me: "ICU this is nrsang97 how may I help you?"

Caller: (had out of state area code), "I hear you have a set of lungs for me..."

Me: "Uh.. what was that you're asking me?..."

Caller: "I heard you have a set of lungs for me."

Me: (dumbfounded at this point wondering why I answered the phone)... "Ma'am we can't give you that information."

Caller: (insistant) "I was told that your hospital has a set of lungs for me."

Me: ( still confused) "I can transfer you to the OPO and you can speak with them."

(Call placed on hold and got organ transplant coordinator)... They were just as dumbfounded as I was.

[Julius Seizure]

This was a doozy. I worked in an ICU at one point and we had a patient that was going to be a donation after cardiac death. I answer the phone and this is the conversation:

Me: "ICU this is nrsang97 how may I help you?"

Caller: (had out of state area code), "I hear you have a set of lungs for me..."

Me: "Uh.. what was that you're asking me?..."

Caller: "I heard you have a set of lungs for me."

Me: (dumbfounded at this point wondering why I answered the phone)... "Ma'am we can't give you that information."

Caller: (insistant) "I was told that your hospital has a set of lungs for me."

Me: ( still confused) "I can transfer you to the OPO and you can speak with them."

(Call placed on hold and got organ transplant coordinator)... They were just as dumbfounded as I was.

This is a little creepy!

[marienm, RN, CCRN]

Midnight. Phone rings-

marienm- [unit], this is marienm

caller- um, yes, is this [unit]?

marienm- didn't I just say that? Yes it is, can I help you?

caller- I'm calling to get an update on my dad, [name of pt who died earlier in the day after coding twice]...

mairenm- *freezes in terror* oh, God, she doesn't know he passed away! I can't even get to his list of contacts since he's not in our system anymore! If I tell her to call the family she'll say she's part of the family!

caller- I know that he passed away earlier today, and [other questions about funeral arrangements].

marienm- *huge sigh of relief*

[anon456, BSN, RN]

I had a recently-discharged patient's mom call me while she was in the drive-thru line at the pharmacy. She was calling to complain that the pharmacist was telling her the med was not covered by insurance, and that we shouldn't prescribe meds that insurance won't pay for. I asked what the med was and it was an OTC rash cream. She was stressed out that she was supposed to put the cream on every 6 hours and it had now been 8 hours, and the med was not covered by insurance even though the doctor wrote a prescription for it so how was she supposed to get some. And now her baby was going to get the rash again and it was the doctor's fault. I told her to park her car and go in and get it, it would be on the shelf. She said she didn't want to take the baby out of the car to go inside. This conversation went on for about 10 minutes and I could hear the pharmacist telling her something on the intercom, and I heard cars starting to honk behind her. When I realized she was no longer really listening to me I just hung up. Oops.

[AcuteHD]

Had a lady call me asking if we do fresenius dialysis, when I told her we are not afiliated with fresenius she asked, "well, what kind of dialysis do you do there?" I guess I could've explained that fresenius is a company and the different modalities of dialysis, but I didn't...I refered her to an outpatient clinic (not fresenius either). I guess I'm bad.

[ixchel]

Had a lady call me asking if we do fresenius dialysis, when I told her we are not afiliated with fresenius she asked, "well, what kind of dialysis do you do there?" I guess I could've explained that fresenius is a company and the different modalities of dialysis, but I didn't...I refered her to an outpatient clinic (not fresenius either). I guess I'm bad.

Forgive me for picking this bone, but I'm bummed that you didn't take the time to at least go into the basics. This wasn't a strange call at all. Many people that are newer to dialysis don't realize they have choices in companies and types of dialysis. I've had patients devastated by the news they had to get dialysis because they've mistakenly assumed they'd have to give their lives up because of the 3x weekly 4 hour commitment they now would need to make.

I'm not saying this to call you out or be cross. I'm saying it more so that the next time you get a confused individual, you might take the opportunity to guide them just a little, even if to say, that is a company, not a type, and by the way, outpatient dialysis offers a couple of choices/types. No sense in going into way too much detail since you're inpatient (I'm guessing by your SN), but at least help her get her head on straight so she wouldn't be so confused when she calls the next place.

[AcuteHD]

I'm bummed that I bummed you. Rest assured that I was nice about it and transferred her to a facility that does in center HD, home HD, PD and is better staffed. But, point taken. Thanks.

[ixchel]

I'm bummed that I bummed you. Rest assured that I was nice about it and transferred her to a facility that does in center HD, home HD, PD and is better staffed. But, point taken. Thanks.

I am happy my bumminess which led to your bumminess was appreciated and gave you thoughts to ponder. :)

[CrazyGoonRN]

I had a pt's daughter call late at night. She repeatedly dropped her phone and I listened to her shooing her dog away while she searched for the phone. She rambled on and on about how her mom loves it when people joke with her, therefore I as her nurse should "flick her in the nose" and joke around with her when speaking with her.

It was the strangest conversation I've ever had with a family member.