Whats the deal with all the crying?!?!....

[morningland]

So me and my clinical friends were sitting around and lunch, talking about the program and we started asking ourselves about students who cry all the time. We had heard, from nurses on our floor that, that students before us have been found in the clean utility rooms balling their eyes out but no one in our group has even come close. Anxiety yes... uncertainty yes... but we have never come near crying?

So I would like to hear your stories about times you cried in nursing school. What happened to make you cry? Do you think it's an overreaction? We think it is but what do you guys say?

I remember doing really well in A&P back in my pre-req days and then watching my grade take a nose dive. I went from 98% exams to a 70% and 68% both in a row. I remember going into my car and crying a little but it seems like people in the program cry over the smallest things; like they screw up on their first checkoff or they miss a single point on the exam.

Whats the deal with this?...

[DolceVita, ADN, BSN, RN]

Crying in nursing school creeps me out and I have to leave the room. I've seen people run out of check-off crying, run out of the exam room crying, standing in the hallway crying, sitting in class crying. Sheesh! One little disappointment and you just fall to pieces?? It makes me uncomfortable and embarased for them. Really, I think it's inconsiderate to subject strangers to your raw emotion. Where's your game face, people?

Yep. Do what you want in private but I'd rather it not be in public.

There is a girl in my class who cries at every check off -- what annoys me is that she is allowed to slide on a number of steps when this happens. It isn't very equitable.

[CuriousMe]

Wow tough crowd. I'm not a crier in the sense of running out of a room crying kinda gal. I am a sap though, and my eyes well up for something sentimental (like even that Christmas Folgers commercial....you know the one, where the brother surprises everyone and comes home for the holidays early in the morning and wakes everyone up by making coffee.....gets me every time ).

That being said, different folks deal with stress in different ways, and many folks in nursing school don't have 40 + years on the planet in which they learned different ways to cope with stress. This is nursing SCHOOL, a time in which some folks are facing the most stress they've ever faced. Learning how to deal with stress is one of those things, I guess I just feel like I should give them the room to learn how to do that.

[Music in My Heart]

Sorry but I'll have to disagree. People have many different ways to cope. If someone wants to have a little cry in privacy when they are a bit stressed (or whatever) I can't see what the problem is.

Sure, in private, I don't care what they do. I'm talking about in front of other people. Of course, if it's done in private then nobody knows what's going down anyway.

[diane227, LPN, RN]

I never cried in nursing school. Nothing ever stressed me out that bad. As long as you don't kill the patient the rest is paper work.

[shoegalRN, RN]

I cried during my capstone when my pt coded and died in my arms.

That is the only time I cried during nursing school. Now, actually working as a RN? Yes, I cry all the time now, but it's usually when I'm away from my pts and coworkers.

[Hygiene Queen]

I only saw a classmate cry once and I did not blame her one bit.

Our instructor was being a total wad.

My friend's patient had gone home after my friend spent the whole night laboring over her care plan, research into the patient's illness, labs and several pages of meds (sounds painfully familiar , right? Ouch!)...

Anyhoo, the instructor picked my friend a new patient at 0700. This patient was rather complicated and had many many MANY 0900 meds. She told my friend to look up, write down class, action, side effects, interactions, assessment... EVERYTHING and learn

it all and to be ready to recite them and pass them at 0900.

THERE WAS NOOOOO WAY!!

My friend was still feverishly working when the instructor approached her and then berated her for not knowing them.

I was, unfortunately, within earshot when my friend broke down.

That instructor was just being a huge jerk.

Of course, the meds ended up being passed late and YES a med error occurred.

My friend wasn't being a cry baby. She was just given an impossible task... the instructor might as well have told her to spin straw into gold.

It would have driven anyone to tears.

[aussiemom]

I definitely cried in class when we viewed a truly beautiful video of a fetal demise with her family at her funeral. This reminded me of several personal situations in my life. I felt as if I had re-lived my friend's child's funeral, which just tore my heart into pieces. I was embarassed, but I was very pleasantly surprised by one of my classmates who checked to make sure I was all right.

Also, one of my male instructors (a very masculine guy, who usually works ICU/CCU) told me how he cried when he floated to oncology one evening. He worked with a young child who had leukemia, and he said he cried outside that child's door- and that he doesn't know how pediatric folks do their job daily!

[Multicollinearity, BSN, RN]

I've cried twice during nursing school. But never in front of anyone, and I always kept myself together until I got home. I have "a thing" about never letting anyone at work or school seeing me cry.

That said, with the lack of empathy I've seen among quite a few nurses at the hospital (it's true!), I have to soften my stance about crying being unprofessional. If the crying comes from empathy or a sincere caring-stance, I think it wouldn't hurt to see more of it.

[CeilingCat, ASN, RN]

I've been on both sides of this fence. I remembered seeing students crying and I'm thinking "what's their problem" or "why don't they grow up".

Then I was in my first semester of lab/clinical work. This is in a school that tests you on skills but does not teach you; I cannot learn skills from a textbook. I'm sick with sinus and UTI infections. I'm getting tension headaches I've never had before. I've been short on sleep for weeks. I'm a 4.0 GPA student who is now getting F's and C's in nursing exams, not because they're challenging but because the answers aren't anywhere in book/lecture. I talked to my nursing adviser yesterday and she talked to me like I was a child, in a sing-song voice, "just study a little harder". Our assignments for all nursing classes appear on an archaic online forum which doesn't seem to work quite right for me, and things magically appear and disappear, causing me to get zero's on assignments. None of my classmates seem to know how badly one can do before they fail; however, failure of any one Nursing class on either semester means you cannot go on -- so you must START OVER next year, if they let you.

I'm full to the rim with frustration. And the sharp anxiety of not having a clue what they're going testing me for in the Lab Test Outs. And somehow I end up with the partner who I just now realize is indifferent and clueless. Stupid me, I was following this classmate's lead when we studied and practiced for test-outs together.

And I walk into the Lab Test Out room that day, hearing other students talk about things on the test out I had never even heard of. I see my partner for the true flake she is, and any hope of getting a lifeline from her evaporates. I have no idea how poorly I can do on test outs before they fail me for the semester. And then the one lab instructor who has the reputation for being the Dragon Lady walks to get us; she'll be doing our evaluation. And I break. I can't think. I can't breathe. Every little pain from my infections increased tenfold. My head is pounding. I bit my tongue to hold down the emotions as I told Dragon Lady I needed to reschedule for one of the make-up time slots because I was not feeling well... and I bit my tongue harder when she scribbled all over my grade record and announced loudly to the room my many demerit points.

I make it to the bathroom, and then the tears started. My indifferent labmate (who also wanted to reschedule) found me in there, and gave me the same look I imagine you give your classmates. The obligatory patting "here, here, it's going to be ok", then the quick exit away. Of course she didn't understand. She wasn't in my shoes.

My breakdown was actually a great moment for me. I learned an important lesson that may help me be a better nurse: another person's pain (even emotional pain) is as real and valid as anything. I will never sneer "what's the deal with so-and-so" again. I got into nursing to help the suffering. Even if I can't understand the pain, I will never again judge someone for showing their emotional pain.

A little aside: since then, I've been treated by a doctor for my bad infections and headaches. He also helped me recognize the signs of Anxiety. For the time being I'm on low doses of an excellent anti-anxiety medication, buspirone. To everyone: if you've ever felt like you wanted to cry or freak out, you are not alone. And if these feelings are making you miserable, there is no shame in getting help from your family doctor, counselor/therapist, or medication. It's more important you finish nursing school than it is you bottle up your emotions until you explode.

[TRR8021]

There's been a couple of students crying in my psych rotation. I thought to myself I didn't know this semester was going to be so emotionally draining!! lol

I have a problem seeing other people cry because it makes me want to cry. I have to work on thickening my skin so that I won't cry every time a patient does!! I haven't actually had tears stream down, but my eyes well up.

[PackersFan]

Hi. I'm AAnderson & I'm a crier.

I am one of those emotional people & that's just the way that it is. It's how I release my stress, frustration, anger, etc...

I cried twice at the hospital during my med surg rotation.

The first time, my instructor asked me what was wrong and I just started crying. I had the RN who tried to eat her young. According to her, everything I did that day was wrong. As a first semester student, it's not like I am just oozing with confidence. It was just one of those things - I took everything she said to me personally. To top it off, the day before, I found out that my grandmother had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. So, I was super stressed out and emotional. I cried in a room with my instructor, with no one else around. Then a little while later, went up to the RN and thanked her for allowing me the experience to work with her. (And for giving me a good reason to not be the nurse who eats her young!) :)

The second time I cried, was during post-conference. It was our last day of our med surg rotation. Like many others, the path to nursing has been full of ups & many, many downs. I was just so proud of myself & of my classmates that I couldn't help but let the tears of joy flow. (Which even caused other "not emotional" people to cry as well!)

So, I might be the nursing student who cries....and eventually, the RN who cries - but I don't think that necessarily means I'm overreacting all of the time. :)

[Psychtrish39, BSN, RN]

I remember crying one time in my nursing program when one particular clinical instructor stated I would never be a good nurse I was jumpy and talked to myself and I did cry in front of her but not others ( this was said to me in private) but I am still a nurse and at the time it was last semester of school going through a horrendous divorce and I lost my home at the time as well. My program director didn't think so and I am still a nurse today and a good one.

Nursing school was stressful being a nurse is a stressful job as well. I would think if someone didn't ever feel emotional as a nurse it would be odd we deal with sad things sometimes but thats just IMHO.

I don' think crying means you are over emotional it means you are a human being. The brain brings about crying due to emotional cues of different sorts. I think it is a way to relieve stress and it doesnt come in a bottle, it is low cost and hurts no one. It is just our culture in the United States from some of the English culture based stiff upper lip way of dealing with things. I dont cry at work but I have cried in my car when I have lost patients I cared about on the way home. I am human and so is everyone else.