Whats the deal with all the crying?!?!....

[morningland]

So me and my clinical friends were sitting around and lunch, talking about the program and we started asking ourselves about students who cry all the time. We had heard, from nurses on our floor that, that students before us have been found in the clean utility rooms balling their eyes out but no one in our group has even come close. Anxiety yes... uncertainty yes... but we have never come near crying?

So I would like to hear your stories about times you cried in nursing school. What happened to make you cry? Do you think it's an overreaction? We think it is but what do you guys say?

I remember doing really well in A&P back in my pre-req days and then watching my grade take a nose dive. I went from 98% exams to a 70% and 68% both in a row. I remember going into my car and crying a little but it seems like people in the program cry over the smallest things; like they screw up on their first checkoff or they miss a single point on the exam.

Whats the deal with this?...

[melmarie23, MSN, RN]

I've cried at home due to stress many times. However, a couple weeks ago I broke down in one of my professor's office during a meeting with her to go over one of my papers. I was unhappy with my grade, so I requested to meet with her to see where I could improve for next time, and about half way in, the tears started flowing. I totally didn't mean for it to happen, but I was just under a lot of stress and it literally just came out of my eyeballs at that moment. So we just sat and chatted a bit and it helped. I realized then that it wasn't the paper I was upsets about, it was a combination of conflict within the department and a lack of sleep (as my husband and I just purchased our first home and have been remodeling into the wee hours of the night). I concluded that I am just trying to do too much at once.

Crying definitely helped. It can be cathartic at times, and this is none the more true of my moment of weakness. Although I was embarrassed at the time, my professor was gracious enough just to listen and let me cry. I really appreciated it.

[nursel56]

There's a huge difference in my mind between someone tearing up when they witness a very sad situation (especially for the first time), looking away, maybe even stepping into the utility room to cry, or crying later with other people and away from the job setting----- and on the other hand disrupting patient care and having people fawn over you asking if you are OK, can they get you a cool cloth, etc etc., which unfortunately I've seen happen a few times. Same thing with temper tantrums. I admit, I've snapped at people a few times. But I've never thrown things, used the f-word, etc.

Probably a good idea to be aware of what it is that are your triggers based on personal experience ahead of time. You could very well have a 2 mo. old baby with 3 fractures to take care of in your first year out she really needs you to have it together.

[greenbeanio]

Much to my chagrin, I have cried 3 times this semester. Never in front of patients or staff, just my clinical instructor. Something about having to defend myself makes me cry. She gets so impatient, so exasperated, makes faces, twists her mouth, rolls her eyes and makes me feel like she thinks I'm a total loser. I hate feeling so vulnerable. Why do they thing that tearing someone down helps them learn? I've never been up against this kind of thing professionally, but I have a feeling that in this field, this won't be the last time.

But yes, I agree that a nurse crying as my son is being wheeled in for surgery would **** me off too - that was very unprofessional.

[Blueorchid, ASN, RN]

I sort of agree with a few other people that the OP's comments seem a bit insensitive. Inconsolable crying is one thing, but a few tears? I've cried during clinicals and yeah, I knew I shouldn't but it was a learning experience.

Looking back it seems like it was the funniest thing now. The stress of having a paper, a care plan, and a huge patho test caught up to me along with being in clinicals with a patient that was getting better so I was essentially stuck with nothing to do. I got upset because I ended up going from room to room looking like what I can imagine was a little lost puppy (we all look like ducklings on our units, I swear) and no one else needed any help. And then of course my contacts got dried out so my eyes started getting red before I was crying and by the time someone bothered to point it out to me I looked like a bloody cyborg. Long story short- I ended up letting a bunch of little things snowball into something serious and started going when my clinical instructor asked me what was wrong. It was embarrassing...

Was it stupid to cry about that? Hell yeah it was. Of course now I look back on it and when I find myself getting upset about the little things (like a missed point on an exam or a blown vein where I work) then I try and make myself laugh. Either that or roll my eyes at the sky and go about my business. There are plenty of other things I could focus on that ARE serious and that many people do tear up about but I somehow have been lucky enough to be immune to. I should be thankful for something right?

Sometimes all it takes is a little smile and a big woosah- enunciated loudly, so that everyone else can join in

[Journey_On, BSN, RN]

I cried when I made a med error in clinicals. I thought they were going to hold me back a semester, terminate me, or something else bad.

I've been working as an RN for about 3 months, and I have not cried at work yet but have come close a few times. I haven't cried at home (re: work), either. I feel pretty stressed out at work at times, but it's as if I forget about it when I get home.

[bluehippo]

I cried (loud movie-style sobbing crying) in the car on the way home from clinical. My clinical instructor took me into the conference room, dropped her clipboard on the table, kept standing, and began loudly telling me that that would have been a med error. And how I either chose to ignore her or simply didn't hear her request to listen to what "pharmacy had to say" regarding vanco levels (I still don't understand why she told me to call pharmacy, said that she wanted to hear what they had to say but walked away immediately after- Hell, I'm just glad I passed after that incident!).

I had not had the peaks and troughs lecture in pharmacology yet and later went home to double check peak/trough level info in the drug book (which the book did not mention and it's the 2009 Jones & Bartlett).

I also went off the printed out MAR because I wasn't able to read the physicians' orders, which was wrong on my part. It turned out that RNs had been giving the medication without the proper orders just like I was about to do, which still doesn't make it okay.

I will always check peak/trough levels and always read (or get help reading) the physicians' notes. It's kind of funny, though. Talking to my peers, I've found out that most of them do not read the physicians' notes. Others were not aware of peak/trough levels, too, at that time. I felt like I was the most terrible and the world's stupidest student nurse. I really questioned if I was cut out to be a nurse.

I also shed a few tears in the bathroom on my first day of pediatric clinicals because of a child with left side hypoplastic heart syndrome that had absent parents.

[nursel56]

Yea I can for sure see how it can be upsetting at a time like that.

I would be upset to if a nurse made it seem like my child might not make it. It would make me feel good though if we were at the point of death and I had accepted it and it was happening and the nurse that had been caring for my child or loved one was crying and sad to. It would make me feel like they really care and maybe had a connection.

I've cried with families. I've cried when patients I was close to died. I STILL cry thinking about some of the little patients I took care of years and years ago. In fact, I think I can honestly say that the reason I made the final decision to go into nursing was because of those empathetic, warm, yet thoroughly professional oncology nurses and the parent liaison who took care of my little brother when he was diagnosed with ALL.

I can tell you have an understanding of balance and perspective in the realm of your feelings, that guides us as to what is appropriate or not, and that is the central, important thing. A person who is a cold fish can become a nurse, but will only fit into certain areas of nursing. Most people expect a nurse to be a human being, and they will certainly be put off by someone who is robotic. On the other side of the spectrum is someone who is so swayed by emotion that they become ineffective, center attention on themselves and actually scare or anger patients and their families.

Happy to say, the vast majority of nurse's have navigated this issue and found that place inside that enables them to function at least most of the time!! I'm thinking the OP and her friends are feeling the waters-- it really is scary at first! Thanks for your comments!

[morningland]

Wow! There has been a lot of great discussion on this thread.

I just wanted to set something straight that I didn't make clear in my OP. I am not against crying, especially when it is in the event of the death of a patient. There is absolutely no weakness in crying to express your feelings and I view it as a strength when people are able to cry over the loss of patients. I was more reffering to the people I have heard who say that they have "cried so much they could fill a swimming pool" or people who said they cried all the time in school. I was just wondering what made people cry like that. I've seen people cry just because they got a 26/30 on an exam or because they made a small mistake on their check off and it seemed like an over reaction but thats just my opinion not a judgment.

Truth be told, it's healthy to cry and I wish I could do it more often. Just wanted to make that clear. Peace y'all

[Delawhere_RN]

I haven't read the 5 pages of responses, but this is obviously an appropriate topic for nursing school! For me nursing school is one of the most intense things I've tried to accomplish in my life next to raising children. It's a process not an event and that in itself speaks volumes. It's an ongoing thing for semesters, not just a few days of class. LPN degree vs CPR class kind of thing. There are a ton of due dates and for me that in itslef is huge simply because my support system (family) and our work schedules have to change to accomidate the need school demands. More easily expressed I'd say "It's hard to take care of your present and future at the same time." My cries come from just being flat out overwhelmed. December can't come fast enough. I didn't cry until this last semester - and I've earned every tear LOL. Stress/overwhelmed, but also I am the venting board for my family and their feelings of the new responsabilities they have b/c I'm in school and not here. So I feeel I get it from both ends. It'll all pass though and be worth it when I get that degree!!

[Music in My Heart]

Wow! There has been a lot of great discussion on this thread.

I just wanted to set something straight that I didn't make clear in my OP. I am not against crying, especially when it is in the event of the death of a patient. There is absolutely no weakness in crying to express your feelings and I view it as a strength when people are able to cry over the loss of patients. I was more reffering to the people I have heard who say that they have "cried so much they could fill a swimming pool" or people who said they cried all the time in school. I was just wondering what made people cry like that. I've seen people cry just because they got a 26/30 on an exam or because they made a small mistake on their check off and it seemed like an over reaction but thats just my opinion not a judgment.

Truth be told, it's healthy to cry and I wish I could do it more often. Just wanted to make that clear. Peace y'all

Crying out of sympathy or sadness is one thing. Crying due to stress, frustration, or disappointment is another. The former is appropriate, IMO... the latter, not.

[Siamo]

Crying in nursing school creeps me out and I have to leave the room. I've seen people run out of check-off crying, run out of the exam room crying, standing in the hallway crying, sitting in class crying. Sheesh! One little disappointment and you just fall to pieces?? It makes me uncomfortable and embarased for them. Really, I think it's inconsiderate to subject strangers to your raw emotion. Where's your game face, people?

[DolceVita, ADN, BSN, RN]

Crying out of sympathy or sadness is one thing. Crying due to stress frustration, or disappointment is another. The former is appropriate, IMO... the latter, not.[/quote']

Sorry but I'll have to disagree. People have many different ways to cope. If someone wants to have a little cry in privacy when they are a bit stressed (or whatever) I can't see what the problem is.