So me and my clinical friends were sitting around and lunch, talking about the program and we started asking ourselves about students who cry all the time. We had heard, from nurses on our floor that, that students before us have been found in the clean utility rooms balling their eyes out but no one in our group has even come close. Anxiety yes... uncertainty yes... but we have never come near crying?
So I would like to hear your stories about times you cried in nursing school. What happened to make you cry? Do you think it's an overreaction? We think it is but what do you guys say?
I remember doing really well in A&P back in my pre-req days and then watching my grade take a nose dive. I went from 98% exams to a 70% and 68% both in a row. I remember going into my car and crying a little but it seems like people in the program cry over the smallest things; like they screw up on their first checkoff or they miss a single point on the exam.
Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
Everybody cries-- this is true. It's better, I think, not to burst into tears right in the middle of clinical. Oddly enough, when my son went to have bilateral inguinal hernia repair at 6 weeks old, the crying nurse upset me. I was really worried about general anesthesia, but I had it pretty much together when they came to take him to the OR. Until this nurse started crying and saying, "oh little precious" like he had a 50-50% chance of survival or something! :angryfire I wanted to deck the woman--- of course I didn't because violence never solves anything.
I cried when I failed VS check-offs for the second time. I tried to hold it back, but I was terrified that I'd fail before I'd even had a chance to get started.
I also cried when I saw a patient being mistreated. I didn't do it in front of the patient, but at the end of the shift, I broke down in front of my instructor and classmates. I was embarrassed about it, but I also think it's a natural response to seeing someone treated in that manner.
So me and my clinical friends were sitting around and lunch, talking about the program and we started asking ourselves about students who cry all the time. We had heard, from nurses on our floor that, that students before us have been found in the clean utility rooms balling their eyes out but no one in our group has even come close. Anxiety yes... uncertainty yes... but we have never come near crying?
So I would like to hear your stories about times you cried in nursing school. What happened to make you cry? Do you think it's an overreaction? We think it is but what do you guys say?
I remember doing really well in A&P back in my pre-req days and then watching my grade take a nose dive. I went from 98% exams to a 70% and 68% both in a row. I remember going into my car and crying a little but it seems like people in the program cry over the smallest things; like they screw up on their first checkoff or they miss a single point on the exam.
Whats the deal with this?...
Before nursing school I had panic attacks before class when I started prerequisites. I was at a really low point in my self esteem and because of past grades knew I needed to do REALLY well in the prerequisites but was convinced that since I was such a screw up I wouldn't ever be able to do well. That can be really powerful.
I've been fine in nursing school- a few semesters of great grades, therapy and meds helped me rebuild self confidence and self esteem and that makes all the difference in everything.
EDITED TO ADD: I've always been and angry crier. When I get really, really mad I cry. I hate it because that's not the response I want to have, but extreme emotions seem to do that to me.
I do not cry over my grades, or because I screwed up, or anything like that. I will add that I would NEVER judge those people that do cry over things like that. Everyone has a right to express their emotions their way. If it makes me feel uncomfortable, I will leave. People are people and we are all going to feel different ways at different times.
I have cried after clinicals at the nursing home, twice. Once they were happy tears because I touched a dementia patient in a great way. The other time it was because I was caring for a patient that had a stroke and his daughter was in the room yelling at him to eat, "for pete's sake". After I was able to get him to eat, she burst into tears because she said that she felt helpless, her mother had died 6 months earlier and she didn't want to lose her dad. I did all I could to tell her that her father was in great hands and that helped her a little, I think. After we had that conversation, I went to the bathroom and cried (quietly) because I can understand what she is going through.
When I teared up in post conference about that while talking to other students, another student, very rudely, asked me why I was crying. I just froze up. A few of the other students said it was because I have a big heart. I said that crying doesn't make a person weak. It actually helps me better connect to my patients. I told her that I don't cry in front of the patients or families (that's my own personal rule for myself). I asked her why my crying bothered her. She had no response to that, at all.
Why is crying a less socially acceptable form of expressing emotion than anger? Because it's associated with women?
A person who cries at work to release tension, which pretty much hurts nobody, is accused of "not being able to handle the pressure," but someone who screams at people, slams doors, insults people, which is toxic, is usually just told to cool down. Which they never do, because society rewards that behavior handsomely.
I'd work with a cryer over a screamer 100 leap years in a row.
(And I work in a demanding, fast-paced, male-dominated nonnursing professional workplace where there is definitely no crying allowed!)
Why is crying a less socially acceptable form of expressing emotion than anger? Because it's associated with women?
A person who cries at work to release tension, which pretty much hurts nobody, is accused of "not being able to handle the pressure," but someone who screams at people, slams doors, insults people, which is toxic, is usually just told to cool down. Which they never do, because society rewards that behavior handsomely.
I'd work with a cryer over a screamer 100 leap years in a row.
(And I work in a demanding, fast-paced, male-dominated nonnursing professional workplace where there is definitely no crying allowed!)
I don't think angry outbursts are more socially acceptable... they are, though, often tolerated for economic reasons (and not just in the healthcare workplace).
I personally find neither of them to be appropriate in a professional setting. I'd far rather work with people who are in control of their emotions and their actions.
Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.
Everybody cries-- this is true. It's better, I think, not to burst into tears right in the middle of clinical. Oddly enough, when my son went to have bilateral inguinal hernia repair at 6 weeks old, the crying nurse upset me. I was really worried about general anesthesia, but I had it pretty much together when they came to take him to the OR. Until this nurse started crying and saying, "oh little precious" like he had a 50-50% chance of survival or something! :angryfire I wanted to deck the woman--- of course I didn't because violence never solves anything.
Yea I can for sure see how it can be upsetting at a time like that.
I would be upset to if a nurse made it seem like my child might not make it. It would make me feel good though if we were at the point of death and I had accepted it and it was happening and the nurse that had been caring for my child or loved one was crying and sad to. It would make me feel like they really care and maybe had a connection.
Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.
I don't think angry outbursts are more socially acceptable... they are, though, often tolerated for economic reasons (and not just in the healthcare workplace).
I personally find neither of them to be appropriate in a professional setting. I'd far rather work with people who are in control of their emotions and their actions.
Perhaps someone that sheds a few tears in the event of a death or something serious like that, is in control of their emotions. Emotions in that situation usually call for crying. It's a natural response. Although I think their is a big difference between shedding a few tears and going into hysterics. Just another way I look at it.
Perhaps someone that sheds a few tears in the event of a death or something serious like that, is in control of their emotions. Emotions in that situation usually call for crying. It's a natural response. Although I think their is a big difference between shedding a few tears and going into hysterics. Just another way I look at it.
I think it's interesting that quite a few posts feel the need to clarify "not going into hysterics" when talking about crying. Hysterics, are never proffessional appropriate.... but when someone said they laughed on the floor, they never feel the need to say that they didn't go into hysterics.
Tears happen, especially in nursing school. Like every other interaction with patients.....emotions need to be managed to the extent that they're not impeding therapeutic communication....but other than that, I think our culture just has a "thing" about tears that isn't terribly healthy.
Everybody cries-- this is true. It's better, I think, not to burst into tears right in the middle of clinical. Oddly enough, when my son went to have bilateral inguinal hernia repair at 6 weeks old, the crying nurse upset me. I was really worried about general anesthesia, but I had it pretty much together when they came to take him to the OR. Until this nurse started crying and saying, "oh little precious" like he had a 50-50% chance of survival or something! :angryfire I wanted to deck the woman--- of course I didn't because violence never solves anything.
Good point. Thanks for sharing this.
I don't think crying is awful but I do think there are times and places that it is not appropriate. Sometimes we need to put on our big girl pants (or big boy pants) and provide an air of confidence.
Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.
I think it's interesting that quite a few posts feel the need to clarify "not going into hysterics" when talking about crying. Hysterics, are never proffessional appropriate.... but when someone said they laughed on the floor, they never feel the need to say that they didn't go into hysterics.
Tears happen, especially in nursing school. Like every other interaction with patients.....emotions need to be managed to the extent that they're not impeding therapeutic communication....but other than that, I think our culture just has a "thing" about tears that isn't terribly healthy.
Because when I think of crying in my mind I see a loud production. When I think of someone laughing generally I don't see a loud production. Don't get me wrong, it can go that way for sure, I know because I am often laughing so hard I am crying and can't breath.
But when I think of someone crying I think something quiet different then what happens when I cry. I have always been more of a silent crier from what I have been told with only very rare times am I so upset that someone across the room could probably hear. But the way I cry is not often what I have seen from others. So yes I often feel the need to clarify since I am not speaking of norms.
I cried when I saw my first code blue...they made it but it was like my second week of school and it was very rough...i always thought i would be fine but then the family outside the door was what set me off
.thumb.jpg.5aa4d55557c0228e31b94de19666bbbb.jpg){kind=small}
nursel56
7,122 Posts
Everybody cries-- this is true. It's better, I think, not to burst into tears right in the middle of clinical. Oddly enough, when my son went to have bilateral inguinal hernia repair at 6 weeks old, the crying nurse upset me. I was really worried about general anesthesia, but I had it pretty much together when they came to take him to the OR. Until this nurse started crying and saying, "oh little precious" like he had a 50-50% chance of survival or something! :angryfire I wanted to deck the woman--- of course I didn't because violence never solves anything.