Whats the deal with all the crying?!?!....

[morningland]

So me and my clinical friends were sitting around and lunch, talking about the program and we started asking ourselves about students who cry all the time. We had heard, from nurses on our floor that, that students before us have been found in the clean utility rooms balling their eyes out but no one in our group has even come close. Anxiety yes... uncertainty yes... but we have never come near crying?

So I would like to hear your stories about times you cried in nursing school. What happened to make you cry? Do you think it's an overreaction? We think it is but what do you guys say?

I remember doing really well in A&P back in my pre-req days and then watching my grade take a nose dive. I went from 98% exams to a 70% and 68% both in a row. I remember going into my car and crying a little but it seems like people in the program cry over the smallest things; like they screw up on their first checkoff or they miss a single point on the exam.

Whats the deal with this?...

[Kringe38]

I have cried several times at home during this, my first semester of an ADN program. My grades have been okay so it's not about that. I failed blood pressure checkoff at the beginning of the semester and that was my first cry. Had to redo it a couple of weeks later and was fine then. Have cried other times since then in anticipation of various checkoffs. I just get very freaked out about checkoffs. Have also cried at home because of being nervous about going to clinicals. I still haven't gotten used to those and have to take stomach medicine and force myself to go! I did cry one time actually at clinicals (I was being oversensitive) but I held it together until I got to a bathroom and I did not sob or make any noise. I don't think anyone realized I had been crying. I would hate to cry IN FRONT of anyone actually at clinicals or at school because IMO that would not make the best impression! I hope I can hold myself together to avoid that. I bet I will cry again many times in the next 3 semesters but I hope I can keep it to home.

[HippieHealer]

I think the OP is being a little insensitive. Of course NS are going to cry--you're dealing with sickness, life, and death, who WOULDN'T be emotional about it? We're nurses, not robots; we shouldn't deny our own humanity any more than we should deny the humanity of our patients. Of course, I don't think one should cry in front of one's patients, since this can make them insecure and uncomfortable, but as long as you're excusing yourself to the bathroom to do it, I see nothing wrong with it. It's not a matter of "unprofessionalism," it's just being human.

[ashleyisawesome, BSN, RN]

i left clinical early today because i was crying. =[ im just so angry and frustrated with my clinical instructor and her favoritism and treating me like im an idiot and embarrassing me in front of everyone in my group. i just keep telling myself i only have 2 or 3 more weeks with her, then i get a new instructor next semester.:imbar

[gillytook]

I cried three times. The first was the second week of my first hospital rotation when my patient who had just decided to become DNR had a stroke. I told the nurse my findings (one pupil 7-8 cm the other 2, neither responding to light, absent speech, responsive only to pain) and said to just let her know when he stopped breathing. I lost it and had to go the the breakroom to pull it together and go back in there and bath him. Time two was when I held an 18 month old down for 10 And the last time was at the local children's hospital when I heard the story of a 14 year old whose organs were turning to stone. He wanted to stop the surgeries and go DNR nut his parents refused to give up. He was unable to make his own decisions until he turned 16. Of course my eyes were moist with each birth I witnessed, but I did not cry.

Now that I am an RN I have cried twice. When my first patient died and when I made a med error.

[muscadinewine]

I think nursing school, and any training/ job that requires a lot of discipline and in which you carry the knowledge that a right or wrong move could spell the difference between life and death, it breaks you down and you have to build yourself back up, stronger, to get through it. That's not a pleasant process. Your concept of you changes, or at least it did for me, as far as how much misery (being constantly ill from stress, sleep deprived, aching body, knowledge that not knowing what I should, or zoning out could result in the patient's death or injury- and don't forget the legal issues on top of the moral ones for this. Then there's one's own life-disease exposure: one mucous membrane of yours plus the body fluid of a Hep C patient could make you one. There's also the inability to escape stress in normal ways on the job. A nurse at work or nursing student during clinical can't go on autopilot during great stress like your body is built and programmed to do because it results in deadly errors.) I could live through for a goal. Anytime I hear someone say someone is "just a nurse", or "just go to nursing school if you want easy money", I have to count to ten and remind myself that they are just ignorant and need an easy kick in the mouth. They don't freaking KNOW what you tolerate after you get that acceptance letter. So that's my rant- I'd look at the whole "nursing school" mental/emotional/physical strain package, not the singular event for the crying. :oornt:

For the record,I cry spontaneously, at least once a week. Me breaking down at dinner or in a store is hardly cause for anyone's concern anymore LOL

[seasoned hopeful]

i think i cry about once a week or more. i had to buy a t-shirt that says "crying, there is no crying in nursing school." it matched me so well. i do not cry at school or clinicals tho, i wait until i get home. i think it is healthy, tho, because there has to be some way safe to let all that stress :redpinkhe:redpinkhe:redpinkhe:redpinkhethat we go through in a healthy way.

[Music in My Heart]

The only tears I saw during nursing school was when a situation reminded a student of a personal loss. Other than that, no tears... thankfully.

[LadyinGreen]

We are women...and nurses. Nurses have to be in touch with their emotions in order to be catering to someone elses. I went through an accelerated program. I can handle extremely high stress levels and am seen as a "tough cookie"....but I still hit a point where I cried a couple of times I didn't even understand why. Whether its not addressing something right away and tucking an insecurity deep down...we are all going to do it. Because we care. It could be grades, clinicals, or someone being an ass that we didnt expect....it happens. Its just the ones who make it public I can't stand. A true sport goes home and cries in his/her room with the door closed. haha!

[CuriousMe]

We are women...and nurses. Nurses have to be in touch with their emotions in order to be catering to someone elses. I went through an accelerated program. I can handle extremely high stress levels and am seen as a "tough cookie"....but I still hit a point where I cried a couple of times I didn't even understand why. Whether its not addressing something right away and tucking an insecurity deep down...we are all going to do it. Because we care. It could be grades, clinicals, or someone being an ass that we didnt expect....it happens. Its just the ones who make it public I can't stand. A true sport goes home and cries in his/her room with the door closed. haha!

Hmmm...I disagree. We're not all women first off....and what does being women have to do with crying....guys don't get upset?

I also disagree about the need to go into his/her room and cry with the door closed. Hiding emotion just perpetuates the myth that only weak folks cry. Crying can be for many reasons, a release of stress, emotions from the past triggered by something in clinicals, the perception of being mistreated, any or all of these things stacked on top of issues at home....it could be anything. There's no shame in it. Now, I'm not saying anyone should be wandering the hallways talking care of clients in tears....but to say the only place for "a true sport" is home with the door closed....well, that seems a bit isolating to me.

[DolceVita, ADN, BSN, RN]

I rarely cry and if I do I try to keep it private. Usually it is when my frustration level is bloody high or I am very angry. It is like a pressure relief valve.

But NO WAY do I do it in front of people -- if I can possibly avoid it.

[~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN]

For the record, when I went in the hall and cried (I hate using that word because when I think of crying I think of loud sobs and trouble breathing and stuff which isn't what I did)

Regardless, my instructor gave me a wonderful evaluation (we did them every 3 weeks) and she included that experience and even though I cried she said I showed true caring and compassion towards my patient and thought it was only going to help me be a great nurse. The womans daughter later came to me and told me how much it meant to her that I cared so much about her mom and how her mom had even talked to her about me from when I was their the previous week..

I am human, I am also a mom (which has made me a lot more senesitive to certain issues that I never used to be) and I have very few people I am close with and death is not something I have dealt with a lot. Especially not with someone I had a bond with like this patient. So yes I got choked up and yes I teared and no I don't regret it nor think it was wrong. My priority was still my patient. I allowed myself to time out for a few mins and take a deep breath and accept my patient was about to die and I knew her biggest fear was to not be alone so I insured she would not be alone when she died which was putting her first.

Oh and this same day I had an appointment after for a facial and I talked to my esthetician a lot about my clinicals (nothing violating hipaa) because her mother had passed about 6 months prior in a nursing home, anyway I told her about loosing my patient and me crying and stuff and she said as a family member and going through this as that, if she saw a nurse tearing up or upset about her mother dying she wouldn't have thought it unprofessional at all, she would have thought wow, my mother had wonderful people taking care of her that truly cared about it her. She said when her mother died people were very cold and insensitive about it and it made it even worse.

[psalm, RN]

During pediatric rotation I started crying in class when we were covering leukemias. My friend's nearly 8 year-old son died of ALS after a grueling 9 months of illness with little remission. My instructor asked me his name and a favorite memory of him...that helped alot and dried my tears in class.