So me and my clinical friends were sitting around and lunch, talking about the program and we started asking ourselves about students who cry all the time. We had heard, from nurses on our floor that, that students before us have been found in the clean utility rooms balling their eyes out but no one in our group has even come close. Anxiety yes... uncertainty yes... but we have never come near crying?
So I would like to hear your stories about times you cried in nursing school. What happened to make you cry? Do you think it's an overreaction? We think it is but what do you guys say?
I remember doing really well in A&P back in my pre-req days and then watching my grade take a nose dive. I went from 98% exams to a 70% and 68% both in a row. I remember going into my car and crying a little but it seems like people in the program cry over the smallest things; like they screw up on their first checkoff or they miss a single point on the exam.
Specializes in LTC, Neurology, Rehab, Pain Management,.
Nothing wrong with crying in private. It sure helps to release all that "stuff," you are holding onto until the time is right. As nurses, we are human also, not the nurse Ratched that everyone remembers from "One Flew Over the CooCoo's Nest." Heck, I still cry once in awhile and I have a thick skin. My nurse manager could be called Nurse Ratched, and when she's been mean to mean for so long, I will go to my car and let loose.
When crying irritates/angers me is when the "crier" is using tears for manipulative purposes or in an unconscious attempt to be treated with kid gloves or to let something slide.
Some people literally can't help it. They may be stressed/anxious, happy or sad. Doesn't matter. They cannot control the physiological reaction.
This is what happens to me. Any strong emotion gets me to well up, no matter what that emotion is. Usually, the tears have nothing to do with anything I'm thinking about - my body just takes over. I've worked for years on this, and thankfully it's getting easier to work through. I still am unable to stop it from happening.
I haven't started nursing school/clinicals yet, but will be this upcoming spring, and I do foresee crying in my future. Like a lot of people mentioned- we are human, we feel things, and being around people who are suffering can be hard to deal with emotionally. The way we deal with that stress is different for everybody, and no one ought to be shamed for crying. Crying in itself isn't a sign of weakness, it's just an expressed emotion. Just like- laughing as a result of stress, screaming as a result of stress, snapping as a result of stress. ALL of those reactions are emotional, but why is crying the one thing that gets so much flak, and is termed "emotional"? And what is wrong with being "emotional," really? Being an emotional person does not always equate to being someone who compromises their responsibilities in lieu of their emotions.
Even if someone is crying for reasons that aren't related to the patients- if they're crying for a test grade, or cos they feel they've been mistreated, had a off day, whatever- it's still an emotional expression to relieve that stress. Sure, you as the observer may feel uncomfortable, and you're allowed to feel however you want. But I don't think it's right that crying is painted as something that should ALWAYS be kept under wraps, that it is simply not acceptable in public. Would it be preferable for that crying person to start cursing instead? Or to not even get stressed at all over X thing. But people are different, that's all there is to it.
Yes, there are situations in which I don't think being emotional (sad, angry, scared, etc) is appropriate- for example, if one begins to feel that their emotions are compromising their ability to treat their patients safely. Again this isn't merely about crying, which is only an outward expression (of any number of emotions). Someone can be emotionally compromised WITHOUT having cried.
And, yes, we want to keep in mind that we want to promote an environment in which our patients can feel safe and secure. But once more: showing emotion does not equal being emotionally compromised.
I do think it is worth-noting, that there have been a fair number of people who feel the need to qualify their crying with, "But it wasn't big sobbing hysterics." (Here I'm imagining incoherent babbling, heaving shoulders, etc.) That is really on the extreme end of the crying scale. The posters qualified themselves with the intent to clarify their situation... but what are people doing assuming that "hysterics" are the natural (or even most common) meaning of "I cried" anyway?
Crying is merely a method of expressing emotion- and expressing emotion in this way isn't "weak," and if one thinks it is, I think it should be examined. If crying is weak, then why isn't laughing weak, yelling weak, cursing weak?
I never cried at clinical- they would have eaten us alive for that if we got caught. But I sometimes wished I would have an accident on the way so I did not have to go and face the stress....
we are human but some how have to learn to control the emotion untill a time a pts are not really on us
While at a nursing home, we had two floors and a nurse for each floor. One eveing, a resident on my floor coded. after 30-45 mintues of work, the doc arrived and gave the time. leaving messages with family to call back- I called to the downstairs nurse for a FYI in case of family arrival or call went down ther- she staring cry r/t she felt close to that resident. crying quite abit. be it bad luck or bad timing a CNA announced that one of her residents was choking on peice of candy. the nurse was so distress(and admited so) I had to run down there and save the guy- the emts were there quick because of the last situation. emotions at times have to wait
I cried a lot last semester, just about every day, except weekends.
My instructor made it her job to make my life hell for those 14 weeks. I also cried every other day at the beginning of this semester. Then I realized I'm almost done and have made it this far, I must be doing something right. Well, that and I just don't have the energy to be as stressed as I was. I haven't cried in at least a month, maybe more because I can't even remember.
I just let everything from clinical and classes buildup and at the end of every week I would just let it all out by crying. I always did that in my room though. Never at clinical or in front of classmates.
I came into nursing so blindly, everything is/was new to me, and that's very overwhelming. Maybe a lot of it is an overreaction, for me, but that's okay. It's how I deal with things and it's not bothering anyone else. I tell my classmates to cry, sometimes you just need to.
I just cried yesterday! I went from 90% to 75% to 73% to 61%!!! Tell me that's not something to cry about...
And the worst thing, if I fail the last time, I will have to repeat this class. I'm an out of state student, so I have to pay double the tuition, I can't afford to repeat a class, I can't pull out any other loans because I don't have a cosigner. I worry about my finance all the time. What if I can't pay for my rent this month, or next month?
On top of that, the program is an accelerated program, and I guess I'm just not up to the pace.
I study, study all day, all night, even tomorrow, Thanksgiving, and still I can't get my grades up.
I feel really hopeless, frustrated, like this is the end of the world.
I know it's all my fault that I'm not doing well on the test.. (b/c clearly others did), but I'm so overwhelmed about life and everything else!!!
I cried one time that I can remember in nursing school. It was when an instructor reprimanded me for not being prepared for my head to toe assessment check off. I admit, I was not as prepared as I should've been. But I was able to pull it together and come back 30 minutes later and pass with flying colors. I have teared up a few times as a nurse on the floor. Once when a group of volunteers visited a patient and sang hymns to him and his family and another time when I sat and held the hand of a 108 year old lady who was afraid to be alone. There is nothing wrong with crying especially in a profession such as ours that sees so much pain and suffering.
I cried during my Med/surg clinical. At my school, University of Colorado, the nurses eat their young. They get you so exhausted and overwhelmed. I was given a glowing midterm evaluation one day the next day my preceptor intimated that I might be in danger of failing because my care plan was incomplete. It was like I was hit by a 2x 4! totally out of the blue. I got so emotional that I had to leave clinical that day because I couldn't function.
1st semester accelerated RN student here...I haven't cried at school or during clinicals- not even when I watched someone die, not even when my pt started crying, and not even when my instructor bit my head off twice in the same week for asking what I thought was an acceptable question (which another "pet" of hers turned around and asked her 30 mins after I did and got TOTALLY different response. I laughed it off. Another student who witnessed it complimented me on keeping my cool at being so blatanly prejudiced against. Some teachers just have their pets. It hurt, but I learned from it. You can't fall apart at every little thing :)
BUT I have let loose w/ some serious emotion in the past few weeks at home. What I would have normally brushed off in my personal life has been driving to me hardcore tears like once a week.I can't understand it. I never used to cry. I think it's just the stress getting the best of me. I need to debrief and I don't look forward to crying. My face and eyes swell for 18 hours afterwards. Horrible!
I have the best support system in the world but I'm having serious marriage & financial troubles. I could have handled it before nursing school but homelife stress in addition to NS is sucking the life out of me. I go to school 40 hrs/wk and work about 10 hrs a week w/ 2 small children at home. I've been to see my PCP for anti-anxiety med. This is the first time in my life I ever needed anxiety meds. Nursing is changing me (for the better I think). I can honestly say that despite ups and downs, I LOVE nursing school, but man, sometimes when I'm home, everything little thing gets to me. I snap on my kids or my husband or my mom, and I'm workin' on my coping. This is a new challenge and I think nursing students who cry are perfectly normal. Frankly, if someone seemed unemotional, I'd not want them as my nurse. On the other hand, I can't have someone falling apart, gagging, sobbing, etc. I'm still trying to find the balance w/my emotions, but we as students are witnessing some heavy duty stuff -many of us for the first times ever. Crying is a stress response in my case, but I still feel like I'm going to be one kicka$$ nurse when I get it all sorted out. I just try to keep myself together on the floor no matter what. My pts are already depressed. I do not want them to see how sorry I feel for them! If anyone in my class were crying, no matter who they were, I'd probably offer a hug. Sometimes, you just need one.
BlondieNH
48 Posts
Nothing wrong with crying in private. It sure helps to release all that "stuff," you are holding onto until the time is right. As nurses, we are human also, not the nurse Ratched that everyone remembers from "One Flew Over the CooCoo's Nest." Heck, I still cry once in awhile and I have a thick skin. My nurse manager could be called Nurse Ratched, and when she's been mean to mean for so long, I will go to my car and let loose.